


Virtually Perfect

by Badgersprite



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 78,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badgersprite/pseuds/Badgersprite
Summary: An alien android attacks National City's busiest shopping mall, plunging hundreds of innocent people into a seemingly unbreakable coma. Maggie is among them. Upon learning that the victims' minds have been linked together in a bizarre, digital network under the android’s control, Alex volunteers to be sent into the neural network in order to save Maggie. However, Alex soon discovers that there's a lot more going on inside this mind-cloud than she bargained for.





	1. Mind-cloud

 

 

All of National City was at a standstill. Everyone, everywhere watched the scene unfold on their screens, news crews covering the emerging story from over a dozen angles. No other headline mattered that morning. A pillar of smoke billowed from one of the broken windows, rising up into the sky like a beacon – a reminder to all in the vicinity of just how close this ominous event was. Images of the locked down shopping centre blanketed the city, perhaps even the whole country, if not the world. 

 

“If you're just tuning in, we are live on the scene following reports of a deadly attack on National City's largest indoor shopping mall. I warn you that we have...distressing images of what appears to be the bodies of deceased victims lying inside the centre. At this stage, we cannot begin to estimate a possible death toll but, from the pictures you can see before you, that number may already exceed one hundred, making this one of the worst mass killings in American history.”

 

Maggie Sawyer listened to the TV news reporter behind her as she geared up for the operation, hearing the woman speak to camera through the noise of helicopters circling above. Everything she was saying was true, Maggie thought as she pulled on her bulletproof vest.

 

“Police have the building surrounded and are treating this as a potential hostage situation. No sources have yet confirmed the nature of this attack, such as whether any firearm was used, whether they suspect this is an act of terrorism, nor whether or not this may be yet another crime of alien origin. We have limited information, as it currently appears that there are no eyewitnesses who managed to escape—”

 

Maggie's attention was abruptly drawn away by her phone buzzing in her pocket. It didn't come as a surprise. If anything, she'd been expecting it to ring sooner, given the circumstances. She didn't even need to check who it was; Maggie already knew.

 

“Good timing, Danvers,” Maggie said, taking the call.

 

“You plan on telling me what's going on down there?” Alex's voice came through the phone, as anticipated. Maggie could gauge from background noise that Alex was on the move, no doubt headed her way from the DEO in a van full of heavily armed agents.

 

“I was actually hoping you'd have some answers for me. I guess that means this isn't one of your known targets,” Maggie replied, suited up and ready to go. “All we've done so far is secure the perimeter. Nobody knows what we're dealing with. Human. Alien.” She drew a deep breath, well aware Alex was not going to like what she had to say next. “That's why I've volunteered to go in.”

 

She could practically hear the look of alarm that crossed Alex's expression. “... _What?!_ ”

 

"With a SWAT team, Danvers," Maggie clarified in an effort to placate her.

 

"That is not an improvement," Alex tersely grumbled, vehemently disapproving. "You're a detective. You _detect_."

 

“Exactly my plan. Do you have a better idea as to how we're supposed to understand what we're dealing with than to examine the crime scene?” Maggie asked, adjusting her bodycam, making sure it was working. One member of the tech team gave her a thumbs up, confirming he had both visuals and sound. The SWAT officers beside her performed the same checks. Six of them, altogether. “Look, so far it's been quiet. No shots fired. No demands. We don't even know if there's an ongoing threat. Whoever caused this could be long gone.”

 

“Or you could be walking into a trap,” Alex persisted, urging Maggie to hold off. "Is Supergirl there?"

 

“No, she's not, and we can't wait for her to arrive every time something happens,” Maggie stated matter-of-factly. “Protecting the people of National City is as much our job as it is hers. If we're going to figure out what's happened here, I need to go in there and gather evidence. Nobody in the NCPD is better qualified than I am to identify whether an alien or alien tech might be behind this.”

 

She heard Alex exhale, as if reluctantly conceding that she couldn't argue with that. “Okay, fine. But stay in contact with me as much as you can. I'm five minutes away, and we're moving in to clear the site no matter what you find,” Alex instructed, her stern tone leaving no room for debate.

 

Maggie smirked, glad to know Alex cared. “Roger that.”

 

With that, Maggie ended the call and put her phone in her right pocket. She would ring Alex back once it was safe to do so but, for now, she needed both hands on her firearm and all her attention focused on the mission. As it stood, they didn't know whether they were confronting an actively hostile suspect or not. Until they confirmed otherwise, they were assuming the former.

 

“Alright. We're going in. Move up,” the senior officer commanded. Maggie followed the order, putting on her helmet and drawing her service weapon, the last in line behind the other members of the team. Her role in accompanying this unit may have been purely to investigate and determine what type of threat they were up against, but she had to be ready for combat all the same.

 

“It looks like the police are about to head inside,” the reporter behind her said, an audible buzz coming from the crowd of onlookers, watching them approach the sealed off area. “We'll continue bringing you uninterrupted, live images while they carry out this operation.”

 

Maggie's lip quirked cynically when she heard that, wondering how much the vultures behind the news networks would have secretly loved the ratings pop they'd get if they happened to capture footage of them all getting slaughtered by the unknown perpetrator.

 

The unit swiftly made their way past the police blockade and towards the front doors of the mall, taking up positions behind the safety of the outer walls. The power to the building had gone out. There were no lights. Even though it was mid-morning, it was dark inside the eerily quiet complex. Maggie leaned out far enough to peer around the corner, surveying the scene inside as best she could.

 

Bodies lay motionless on the ground, strewn everywhere. That initial discovery was what had started this whole stand-off. From what Maggie could tell, there was no blood. That wasn't necessarily a good sign; if anything, it meant they could be dealing with a chemical weapon.

 

“Masks on,” the commanding officer ordered, sharing that suspicion. Everyone complied. “NCPD! Lower your weapons and keep your hands in the air! Surrender now or we will use lethal force!” he called out to whoever may or may not be inside.

 

No response. After a moment, the leading officer nodded, signalling for them to head in.

 

Some of them switched on their flashlights as they went in, guns raised, checking for any signs of movement, scanning the area. The stores. The walkways. The floors above. But there was nothing. Only a disturbingly vast sea of lifeless bodies.

 

They had to physically step over the victims as they made their way towards the centre of the ground floor lobby. There were so many of them, and some were so close together that it was hard to know where to put their feet without tripping over the dead.

 

Maggie tried not to let herself comprehend the sheer scale of the loss of life around her, compartmentalising her shock and horror behind the calm, rational veneer of the cop, detaching her personal feelings from the experience, almost as if she'd let another person pilot her body, sparing her this gruesome sight. However, she didn't fail to count the bodies she glimpsed in all directions as she moved further inside. Unless she'd miscalculated, there were already a hundred and seventy, just within view of this one, small area.

 

Part of her wondered if they'd tried to run for the entrance and failed. That would certainly explain why so many of them were in the same place. The thought of the terror they must have felt in their last few moments made Maggie nauseous. Whoever did this, they had to pay.

 

“Area clear,” a different member of the SWAT team announced.

 

“Stay on your guard,” the commanding officer warned, keeping watch. “Detective?”

 

“On it.” Maggie went to work, putting away her weapon and pulling on a pair of latex gloves, examining the nearest body. White male. Thirties. Maggie knelt down, touching his chin to shift his head, searching for any telltale signs that would denote the cause of death. The quicker she did that, the better, as it would indicate precisely what kind of weaponry or toxins or natural offensive capabilities their perpetrator possessed, and what her fellow officers would have to contend with if they hoped to bring the attacker to justice. 

 

Her brow twitched. Wait a second. That wasn't right. His skin was warm. And he was...breathing.

 

“This person's still alive,” Maggie stated, glancing up.

 

She was met with half a dozen puzzled stares. “You can't be serious.”

 

"No, there's no mistake." Maggie looked down again, moving to the next body, only inches away. She felt for a pulse and found one beating steadily away beneath her fingertips. “This one too." She lowered her mask, bewildered. "I think they might all be alive.”

 

“If they're not dead, then what the hell happened to them?” a female officer pondered aloud.

 

“One of you stay with Detective Sawyer. Keep an eye on her while she figures out the answer to that question. We still have to secure the building,” the senior officer instructed. Nobody else could come inside to remove the victims or conduct further investigations until they knew it was safe. Whatever had affected these people, they didn't want anyone else to suffer the same fate.

 

“I'll stay,” the same woman from before volunteered.

 

“Affirmative.” The leader nodded, accepting that. “Alright. Everyone else, move up.”

 

Sensing she wasn't in any imminent danger, Maggie removed her helmet, finding it obtrusive. The next thing she did was withdraw her phone, contacting Alex without further delay. “Who are you calling?” the young SWAT officer asked.

 

“Friend in the feds,” Maggie answered, keeping her phone between her shoulder and her ear, freeing up both of her hands to enable her to examine the victim properly. The officer seemed to accept that as a reasonable decision without issue.

 

“That was fast, Sawyer,” Alex responded, picking up after only two rings.

 

“Yeah, well, I think I could use the input of a biology geek; you're going to want to see this,” said Maggie, retrieving a small flashlight, using it to look into the eyes of her casualties, searching for any signs that might betray the cause of their unconsciousness. “Turns out we're not dealing with a killer. Not yet, anyway. Our victims aren't dead.”

 

“None of them?” Alex asked, appropriately confused.

 

“I haven't checked everyone yet, but that's starting to look like a safe assumption,” Maggie commented. “But that's the thing; they're not only not dead, they're _unharmed_ – I can't find any signs of injury, poisoning, trauma, suffocation. Nothing at all.”

 

“So why aren't any of them moving?” Alex finished on her behalf, following Maggie's train of thought. Given her background in medicine and biology prior to joining the DEO, Alex had to be intrigued by the scientific mystery behind it all.

 

“Right,” Maggie affirmed. That was precisely the question she hoped Alex could answer.

 

“We're nearly there. ETA, one minute. If we can take at least one person back to the DEO, we should be able to figure out what's affecting them. If it's some sort of chemical agent, maybe I can even whip up an antidote to wake them up,” said Alex, thinking out loud.

 

Maggie smirked. “You know, Danvers, as much as I don't like feds, you and your fancy tech sure co—“ Maggie's remark was cut short by sudden shouts from the floor above, immediately followed by gunfire. Muzzle flashes cast shadows on the walls.

 

“What the hell was that?” Alex asked, hearing some fraction of the sound. Maggie didn't have time to respond, instantly standing up and drawing her gun, letting her phone clatter to the floor beside her. “Sawyer?”

 

The gunfire fell silent. The officer with her visibly tensed up, on her guard. “Stay behind me, detective.”

 

Maggie swallowed, not sure if the eerie absence of noise meant the SWAT team had brought down the hostile, or if it meant the exact opposite. She didn't have to wait long, though. Within seconds, a strange, grey figure emerged from the hall, too large to be a person.

 

“NCPD!” Maggie called out, announcing her presence on instinct. “Put your hands in the air and lie down on the ground!” The hulking creature turned towards her. A flicker of recognition passed across Maggie's eyes. “It's some kind of machine!” she said, needing to make sure that both Alex and the police listening in on her bodycam feed got that information. It was all she could do for them now. 

 

“ _Sawyer?!_ ” Alex spoke again, far more urgently.

 

The android marched towards them, extending an arm as it descended the frozen escalator. Maggie and the SWAT officer opened fire, unable to presume there wasn't a weapon contained in that limb. Bullets bounced off its metal exterior harmlessly.

 

All of a sudden, Maggie heard a strange buzzing in her ears – a ringing. She squinted her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain, trying to stay focused as a fog fell over her mind. She had no idea what was happening, but the officer beside her was affected by it too. Maggie watched her drop her weapon and crumple to her knees, clutching at her head and screaming in agony before falling unconscious.

 

Maggie's leg buckled, her limbs wobbly. She fired off one last shot before her fingers fumbled the gun, a tide of dizziness sweeping over her. She groaned and grunted, willing herself not to surrender to whatever was happening, but to no avail. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She went limp and hit the ground. The android was the last thing she saw before everything went white.

 

“Maggie? Maggie!” Alex called for her when all the noise from the other end abruptly ceased, panic setting in as her worst fears flooded to the surface of her mind. Alex shut off her phone, readying her assault rifle. “We have to go in _now_!” she commanded.

 

It was only about ten more seconds until their truck reached the perimeter set up by the police. The DEO agents sprang out of the vehicle in haste, advancing one after the other, never breaking their line. Alex was second in the formation.

 

“FBI! Move!” Alex ordered bystanders and cops alike, desperate to get in there, fast.

 

Before she could, something emerged from the shopping mall. A machine. A nine-foot tall android. Alex knelt behind a police cruiser, training her weapon on the target, along with every officer and agent in the vicinity. Civilians gathered behind her screamed. Some began to flee. Others foolishly didn't, not realising what was going on, unable to see, oblivious to the danger they were in.

 

This was bad, Alex thought. Whatever this thing was, it had already taken out an entire shopping mall full of people. Hundreds. Maybe well over a thousand. There was nothing to say it couldn't do exactly the same to this crowd, or the entire city, if it got the chance.

 

As if in answer to that, the machine raised its arms towards them, its face blank and expressionless.

 

Out of nowhere, a streak of blue shot past, the gust of air ruffling Alex's hair. Kara collided with the machine at full force, knocking it back, away from the crowd. Whatever she'd done, it must have been too late. Some of the police officers at the front of the barricade inexplicably began to writhe and yell out, stumbling over their own legs in blinding anguish. Even the agent who had been a few feet ahead of Alex in their line was stricken with the same affliction. She could only watch on in alarm, unsure what was happening.

 

But Kara was in there. And Maggie. Whatever that thing was, Alex wasn't going to let either them face it alone. Just as she made that decision, the DEO agent in front of her passed out cold. Despite the danger, Alex raised her rifle and went in, passing by officers who cradled their heads in pain before succumbing to the machine's undetectable weapon, dropping to the ground around her like flies.

 

Whatever had hurt them, Alex didn't seem to be affected by it, although she had no earthly idea why. She didn't have time to question it.

 

“Why would you do this to these people?!” Alex heard Kara bellow at the machine, or whoever was behind its actions, just as she entered the shopping mall. The next thing Alex saw was Kara tossing the android through a store window and dashing after it to deliver a punch, intent on kicking the crap out of the damn robot for all the destruction it had wrought on so many innocents.

 

Alex planned on joining her sister to provide backup, though it definitely didn't look like Kara needed it. But then Alex saw something that froze her in her tracks. Her blood curdled and turned to frost in her veins. Among the unmoving bodies lay a familiar face.

 

“Maggie!” Alex raced to her side, her mind awash in a maelstrom of terror. “No. No, no, no.”

 

Alex dropped her gun, curling one arm beneath Maggie's back, resting her in her lap. She pushed back her hair and felt for a pulse. Maggie's heartbeat confirmed she was alive. But, like all of the others, she was completely unresponsive. Whatever had taken them had taken her too.

 

“Come on, Sawyer; I know you're in there,” Alex frantically urged, desperation creeping into her voice. She couldn't lose her. She couldn't. Alex let her fingers cup Maggie's cheek, praying for any sign that she might regain consciousness. “Please wake up, Maggie. Come on.”

 

Nothing. No response. Not even reflexive muscle twitches.

 

The android may not have killed her, but Maggie was dead to the world.

 

Kara struck the android one last time, sending it flying back across the lobby. Alex glanced up to see what looked like exposed circuitry sparking through its broken chestplate. Whatever Kara had done, she had succeeded in severely damaging it. That seemed to prompt the machine to realise it was outmatched.

 

"Odds of survival, critically low. Self-preservation protocols engaged," it spoke to itself.

 

“You're not getting away!” Kara avowed, flying towards the android when she saw it begin to fire up the small jets in its legs, refusing to let this mechanical monster escape. However, this time, when she touched it, the android emitted a vicious electric charge. "Agh!" Kara's whole body stiffened, her muscles contracting against her will, temporarily immobilising her.

 

“Kara!” Alex called out, too far away to intervene as the potent shock rendered Kara momentarily defenceless.

 

That brief advantage was all the machine needed to seize upon, taking the opportunity to knock Kara backwards. With her on the ground, it activated twin rockets in its legs, having delayed her long enough that it could make its retreat. It shot directly upwards through the roof of the mall, disappearing into the sky. Kara grimaced and pulled herself to her feet, using her X-Ray vision to peer up through the broken ceiling, but it was a futile effort. She had already lost sight of which way it had gone. She'd missed her chance to give chase.

 

Seeing Kara get up after that shock told Alex that she was okay. Physically, at least. She didn't need aid. Maggie, on the other hand, had not been nearly so lucky. Dear God. What the hell had happened to her? What had this machine done to leave her like this?

 

The whole world around her was at once muted and a deafening cacophony of white noise. Alex hardly heard the chaotic commotion of the police outside, racing to tend to their fallen comrades. They might as well have been a thousand miles away, or submerged beneath a sea. And yet, at the same time, her ears were hyper-alert, attuned to the faint sound of Maggie's breath, to her own pulse, and the crumbling specks of dust from the roof. It was like a part of her soul had been savagely ripped out and torn to shreds before her eyes, leaving her diminished.

 

But Alex couldn't feel a thing. She was numb. Or perhaps she was so deeply devastated that she couldn't even begin to process her grief. Alex couldn't tell. Frankly, she didn't care to contemplate the answer. Did it really matter? Did anything?

 

“Alex, I am _so_ sorry I'm late,” said Kara as she rushed to her side, the quiver in her voice betraying exactly how sincere that regret was. She felt horrible for it, blaming herself for not being there five minutes faster. “I tried to get here as soon as I could, but Snapper cornered me. He...He...He wouldn't let me go. He saw me sneaking off and thought it meant I didn't care about what was happening. I...I practically begged him to turn his back for a second, but he just...he just... _wouldn't_. Not until James distracted him.”

 

“It's okay,” Alex quietly assured her, trying to contain the emotion that sat like a jagged rock in her throat. As easy as it would have been to lose her cool and lash out, this wasn't Kara's fault. She would never dream of letting her think that it was.

 

The android had done this. Nobody else.

 

Kara's eyes followed Alex's gaze, a grim expression coming over her as she took in the sight of Maggie lying limp in her sister's arms, practically lifeless. “There has to be some way to wake her up, right?” Kara asked. “I mean...whatever's wrong, we can figure it out.”

 

Alex swallowed heavily, blinking back unshed tears in her eyes. “...I don't know.”

 

“We will,” Kara swore to her, resting her hand on Alex's shoulder. “I promise.”

 

Unfortunately, such optimism was the furthest thing from Alex's mind. Bile burned in her throat. Her ribs felt like they were compressing, closing in around her heart like a trash compactor, crushing it. Much as she wished she could pretend she had it in her to switch off those emotions, Alex didn't. Not when it came to Maggie. She was her one, true weakness. This proved that beyond refute.

 

They may have agreed to just be friends a few weeks earlier, but Alex was still in love with her. Madly. Passionately. Stupidly in love with Maggie Sawyer. She'd never stopped, even though Alex had tried to. Those feelings didn't just...go away because they weren't returned.

 

The worst part of it all was that Alex didn't know the first thing about what had happened to her. She didn't know how long Maggie could survive in this state, or if there was any way to revive her. But Alex refused to accept defeat; she refused to accept that it wasn't within her power to bring Maggie back.

 

It had to be. The alternative was...

 

No. There was no alternative.

 

That prompted Alex to regain some semblance of composure, falling back on her training to maintain her wherewithal. “We have to take her back to the DEO. We can...We can run some scans and...that will hopefully get us closer to reversing this,” said Alex, forcing herself to be strong, for Maggie's sake. “If anyone would want to help us figure out what happened to these people, it's her.”

 

Kara nodded, matching Alex in putting on a brave face, even though it obviously pained her to see how much Maggie's suffering was hurting her, leaving her sister teetering precariously on the brink of despair. “Yeah. You're right. She would.”

 

*     *     *

 

Three hours. That was how long Maggie had been in this state. No signs of improvement.

 

Alex had been working non-stop to identify the reason behind Maggie's unchanging condition. And, at long last, she and Winn had cracked that aspect of the case, progress which had allowed Alex a moment alone to breathe and reflect. This was the first time since the incident that she'd been able to stand over Maggie's unconscious body without a medical test being the reason for it, finally getting the chance to let it all sink in. Only now she wished she hadn't, because God did it ever make the inner turmoil she'd been bottling up so much worse.

 

Maggie's chest rose and fell, her breathing even, the monitors reading her pulse as stable and steady. Her badge and her police jacket hung from the corner of a chair beside her bed. It broke Alex's heart to think she might never wear them again. If she had just stayed behind the barricade like Alex had told her, she would have been fine. But, then, that wasn't in Maggie's nature, was it?

 

"You noble idiot. You always have to be a god damn hero, don't you?" Alex whispered as she dared to take Maggie's hand in both of hers, thumbs gently caressing her palm, her fingers, her knuckles, waiting for a hint of movement that never came.

 

Nothing. Only perpetual stillness.

 

It wasn't right, Alex thought, seeing her like this. Maggie was so...charismatic and vibrant. Simply being around her made Alex feel alive – she made every faint sensation stronger, every emotion more intense. And yet there Maggie lay on a bed in the DEO med lab, an empty shell.

 

Whatever this android had done, it needed to be undone.

 

Nothing could ever excuse a world in which Maggie was reduced to...this.

 

“I'm going to get you back,” Alex vowed to her, squeezing her hand to seal her oath, even though she knew there was no chance Maggie could hear her. It didn't change how fiercely Alex meant it. Even if it took a lifetime, she would never give up. “I promise.”

 

“So, Mr. Schott, I hear you and Alex may have solved the mystery behind this unprovoked attack,” said J'onn, joining them in the med lab, accompanied by Kara, both keen to learn what they'd uncovered so far. "What have you got for us?"

 

“Err, solved is a strong word,” Winn rather awkwardly acknowledged, seated at the desk he'd commandeered in the lab in order to help carry out this research. He and Alex had been tireless in their efforts to try to make sense of what had happened as rapidly as possible, using both Maggie and the DEO agent who had been rendered unconscious at the barricade as their subjects. “But, like I said, we did have a bit of a breakthrough just now. It's enough that we can answer some key questions.”

 

“Let's hear it,” J'onn encouraged, folding his arms across his chest.

 

Winn glanced back at Alex, as if wondering whether she wanted to begin, but she didn't have it in her. Holding in the extent of her concern for Maggie for as long as she had was taking its toll on her. Physically. Mentally. She was fairly certain the only reason she hadn't started to fray under pressure was because Maggie's life depended on her. She couldn't afford to crumble.

 

“...Okay, so, this is a hell of a lot weirder than we first thought,” Winn began. Alex was peripherally aware of his voice, only a couple of yards away, but she damn near lacked the will to listen. Everything was dulled. Her fingers gently brushed the hair back from Maggie's forehead. There wasn't so much as a crease or crinkle when Alex touched her skin. Maggie was totally unresponsive. “The scans have revealed that what we're dealing with is...well, it's a digital virus,” Winn informed J'onn and Kara, summarising their findings.

 

“Digital?” Kara echoed, completely baffled. “That can't be possible; it's infecting _people_ , not robots.”

 

“I know,” Winn calmly insisted, realising exactly how crazy this sounded. “Except that's what our android did; it created a virus and figured out a rather ingenious way to spread its software to humans, essentially turning them into...living computers.”

 

“Alex?” J'onn prompted her for more details, unsure whether Winn had merely chosen a poor analogy.

 

“He's right,” Alex confirmed, though her gaze never shifted from Maggie. She was the one who had done the scans, after all. She'd been the first one to decipher the results. “The reason everyone passed out? Nanomachines,” she explained. That was the 'invisible weapon' the android had used. “They target the brain and seek out specific neural connections. Once they're implanted, their program takes hold.”

 

“Exactly. Think of it like plugging a flash drive full of malware into your laptop.” Winn nodded, backing her up. “It doesn't make a difference that humans are organic, because it's the tech that's infected. And this tech is...really freaking advanced, you guys; it's able to merge with the human brain in a way I've never seen before. It's seamlessly integrated. So it's definitely not from Earth.”

 

“An alien android attacks National City with nanomachines and leaves two thousand people in a coma. To what end?” J'onn asked, intrigued, and seeking a path towards the solution that would cure the afflicted. "What function does this serve?"

 

“Right, see, that's why I said 'solved' was a strong word,” Winn uneasily remarked, gesturing with his index finger as he spoke. “I can't tell you the purpose, but all we know is—“

 

“It's a network,” Alex cut him off, getting to the meat of the issue as quickly as possible. The longer they spent talking, the more time Maggie had to remain trapped in this comatose state. “Every single victim has been connected to every other one in this...cloud, I guess. The nanomachines are allowing their brains to communicate remotely, like a bunch of Wi-Fi hotspots.”

 

Kara squinted. “This is starting to sound like something out of The Matrix.”

 

“Maybe.” Alex shrugged. It wasn't as though that was much of an exaggeration at this point.

 

“We know this because we've been able to see that the nanomachines are...transmitting data to the hospitals where the other victims are,” Winn explained. “They're giving off signals and receiving them, like they're sharing processing power.”

 

"Hence the comparison to the cloud," J'onn concluded, earning an affirmative gesture from Winn.

 

“So, let me get this straight," Kara spoke up, needing to clarify a few things. "These people don't actually have this virus you're talking about – the nanomachines do, but they're also acting sort of like a computer virus themselves,” Kara deduced, doing her best to correctly understand what was going on. “They're using people's brains as...what, like, a hardware upgrade?”

 

“Yeah, pretty much. Only instead of using a virus to network a bunch of computers together make a DDoS attack on a website or something, we have no idea why all these minds are being linked together,” said Winn, shrugging his shoulders. “If there is a purpose to this, we don't know it.”

 

“Then let's find out,” Alex darkly replied, her fingernails curling into the bed at Maggie's side.

 

Winn blinked, taken aback by her acerbic tone. “Well, that is the goal, but that's easier said than done,” he pointed out, almost a tad defensive. It wasn't like he wasn't searching for a cure. Hell, he was the one who had been devoutly assisting Alex this whole time.

 

Alex didn't respond, only watching Maggie's face. She couldn't bear to think that they might already be too late. What if there was no way out? What if Maggie was stuck like this forever, her individuality stripped away, consumed by a cluster of stolen minds?

 

The very idea made Alex sick to her stomach.

 

She didn't want to imagine a world like that – a world that had lost Maggie's light. Alex wouldn't be the same. Never hearing Maggie's voice again. Never seeing her wry smile. Despite only knowing her for a few short weeks, she'd already grown so accustomed to how it felt to be around her. Alex couldn't go back to how things were before they met. She really couldn't, because now there was no way she could ever forget the happiness that was taken from her far too soon, forced to always be conscious of exactly what was missing from her life, aware of that aching absence. That misery would follow her for the rest of her days, a guilt that gnawed away at her until she died.

 

Her fingers clenched into fists at her sides, so hard that her nails dug into her palms. It was all that stopped Alex from hitting something.

 

A hand on Alex's back spurred her out of her thoughts. “Are you okay?” asked Kara, concern in her eyes, knowing how Alex felt about Maggie, and understanding how painful it must have been to see her lying there, helpless to remedy her condition.

 

“...Yeah,” said Alex, even though it wasn't true. She swallowed heavily, quickly wiping her eyes. She had to keep her mind focused. It was the only way to get Maggie back. She willed her fingers to relax and stood up straight, ready to get to work. “What do we do?”

 

“Good question,” said J'onn, contemplating what they could do with what little insight they had. “Obviously, we need to look for the android in the real world, but we can't simply destroy it without risking being infected by the nanomachines ourselves.”

 

“If destroying it would even solve the problem,” Kara pointed out. “Without the android, we may never be able to know how this virus works, or how to deactivate the nanomachines, or what its purpose was in spreading them to begin with.”

 

“That's a factor too,” Winn agreed. “I mean, for all we know, it may be the hub of the whole network. Killing it while everyone is still connected could simply fry their brains,” Winn remarked, making a gesture around his head to illustrate his meaning. Alex glared at him coldly, which made him shrink back in his chair. “Sorry, I'm not...I'm not making light of the situation; it's a legitimate risk.”

 

“Can't we tap into it?” Kara spoke up, her brows knitted together in thought. Everyone looked at her. She shrugged, not sure what the big deal was. “It's a digital network, right? Can't we, I don't know, follow the transmissions from the nanomachines back to their source?”

 

“In theory, yes,” Winn answered. Evidently, he'd been tossing around a similar idea in his head. “The thing is, using an actual computer to do that is incredibly dangerous. Whatever connection we open up could be used to infect our systems with the same kind of virus, and then it could potentially spread across the entire internet. We'd basically be inviting this android to take over the world.”

 

“What about a person?” Alex interjected, her voice low and determined. “Our android can't transmit nanomachines remotely and, last time I checked, I'm not Wi-Fi enabled. If I went in, I could see what's happening without being in danger.”

 

“Alex, you can't be serious,” Kara cut in, refusing to let Alex potentially sacrifice her mind to the cloud like that.

 

“It's a hell of a risk, Alex,” J'onn observed, concurring with Kara. “You'd willingly be subjecting yourself to the same thing the android is doing to all of its victims. Call me paranoid, but I'm inclined to presume the data being transmitted through them is not benign.”

 

“Yeah, except I wouldn't be infected; you'd be in control of my brain, and watching it the whole time. I'd essentially be infiltrating the network, like spyware,” Alex pointed out, unafraid of their foe's sinister agenda. “Right now, there's no other way we can know what's happening to the people in there. Plus, wouldn't it be our best shot at both locating the android and disrupting the cloud from the inside?”

 

After a moment of reflection, J'onn turned to Winn, silently awaiting his input on that question. Alex noticed Kara's thoroughly shocked expression, clearly unable grasp what she was seeing; J'onn was actually considering saying yes to this.

 

“I, um...I suppose that's true,” Winn acknowledged, much to Kara's alarm. “Since we can't use a computer that has any capacity to connect to this neural network remotely without endangering all mankind, having you in there would be the closest I could get to counter-attacking with my own program. Heck, you could practically paint us a map of this entire neural network.”

 

“See?” Alex gestured to reiterate his response. “It would be the safest bet.”

 

"N-N-No. I did not say those words, nor any synonyms," Winn protested with a slight, nervous stutter, recognising that Alex was already treating her decision like it had been signed into law. "Stating the positives does not mean that I am endorsing this plan."

 

"Fine. But I am endorsing it," Alex countered, her determination unyielding, prepared to accept the risks. "My body, my choice."

 

"And that is _not_ the meaning of that slogan!" Winn objected yet again.

 

“But why you?” asked Kara, no less opposed to this concept. “I know how you feel about Maggie, but—“

 

“This isn't because of her,” Alex assured her, realising what Kara suspected was motivating this. “...Well, I mean, it is, in a way. I'm volunteering because I know I'm objectively the best candidate if we're to have any hope of getting her and everyone else out safely. You and J'onn and even Mon-El all need to be out here in the real world to take on the android. Winn will be running the program, so he can't be on the inside. Besides, Maggie recognises me; if she's in any way communicable, I might be able to convince her to fight this thing.”

 

“Yeah, or not,” Kara replied, resisting this reckless idea at every turn. “When you went in to free me from the Black Mercy, I almost killed you because I couldn't even remember who you were at first. And that's assuming this virus or network or whatever you want to call it is anything like that. We have no reason to think this isn't something far worse. Breaking its control like that may be impossible.”

 

“What if I was in there, Kara?” Alex challenged caustically, folding her arms across her chest, shutting her down like a sniper. “Even if you knew there was a risk it wouldn't work, can you honestly tell me you wouldn't try to reach me?”

 

Kara's expression fell, her shoulders sinking. “...Of course I would,” she admitted, with the utmost compassion.

 

“Good, so why are we arguing about this?” said Alex, too focused on saving Maggie's life to acknowledge the pang of guilt she felt for being responsible for causing the sadness in Kara's eyes, aware she was only objecting to this out of love. “Send me in.”

 

“Hold on one second.” J'onn raised his hand, realising they had failed to establish one vital fact. “Mr. Schott, is this even possible?” he asked, regarding their resident tech expert curiously. “We do still have the technology Maxwell Lord created to send Alex into Kara's mind before. Could you adapt that VR headset to send her into a digital network in a similar way?”

 

Winn sighed, not entirely convinced this was a good idea. Alex fixed him with an unwavering, unblinking stare, silently informing him that he had no choice in the matter. She was doing this, whether he approved or not. “...I'll see what I can do,” he conceded.

 

Kara had never looked so utterly defeated without anyone having to throw a punch.

 

"I have a bad feeling about this," she quietly warned Alex, though she chose not to argue over it any further.

 

*    *     *

 

“I can't believe I'm about to hijack an alien nanomachine network,” Winn remarked under his breath. “Not that I never thought I'd do something cool like that at the DEO. I always wanted to have my own, Independence Day, 'hack the spaceship' moment, only way less stupid than that movie. But I wasn't expecting my new job to involve uploading my friend's brain into a...very evil version of the cloud.”

 

“Working here is full of surprises,” Alex dryly replied.

 

“This isn't funny,” Kara spoke up, wishing they would both take this seriously instead of treating it like a game. Alex pulled a face, not sure what she'd done to warrant the chastisement. It was one lousy comment.

 

“She's not wrong about that, Alex. You do realise that we're relying on the efficacy of a program that's essentially in pre-alpha, right?” said Winn as he hooked Alex up, afraid he might have missed some critical bugs in his haste. “I can't promise that nothing's going to go wrong.”

 

“It's okay; I trust you,” Alex assured him, lying down on the bed next to Maggie's in the lab.

 

Winn's lips quirked, but it wasn't a smile. “Somehow, I get the feeling you'd say that even if you didn't,” he mumbled, attaching the last of the sensors and wires necessary to safely monitor Alex's condition. Alex didn't dispute that, because Winn was right. Nothing was going to stop her from going in there and doing whatever she could to get Maggie out alive.

 

“Let's hope her faith is well-placed,” J'onn commented, making it perfectly clear that Winn would have a hell of a lot to answer for if his program backfired and harmed Alex in any way.

 

“Yeah. Let's,” Winn humourlessly concurred.

 

“Alex, please...” Kara stood by her bedside, touching her arm. “You don't have to do this.”

 

“I'm going to be fine, Kara,” Alex promised, reaching up to cup her cheek. "I appreciate that you're scared for me, but don't let it cloud your judgement; nothing in there can hurt me, and you'll be watching over me the whole time. I can even _talk_ to you.”

 

“Well, you'll be talking to me, mostly,” Winn acknowledged, taking his seat at the nearby desk, opening up a laptop. The computer wasn't connected to anything, except Alex's headset. Even if the virus did somehow spread to the computer through the network – which shouldn't have been possible with Alex being nanomachine-free – it would be contained, since it couldn't link to any other devices. “I've set up the program to try and make things...perceptible to you, but I can't promise my interface won't be overridden once you're in the neural network.”

 

“If anything starts to look abnormal, we pull her out,” J'onn firmly instructed, not willing to make any compromises. Preserving Alex's safety was first and foremost in his mind, always. “If you even so much as sense you're under threat—“

 

“I'll tell you,” Alex finished on his behalf. They'd only gone over this twelve times while Winn was writing the program. “I promise I won't take any unnecessary risks, okay? I mean, I like my brain; if anyone has a vested interest in making sure nothing tampers with it in there, it's me.”

 

J'onn uttered a quiet 'hmmph' in response before approaching Winn. “Are we ready?”

 

“In about ten more seconds. I'm just running diagnostics,” said Winn, making sure everything was operating the way it was intended to so far, getting more feedback now that Alex was actually hooked up to Maxwell Lord's modified device.

 

“Okay, then.” Alex sighed, shifting back against the bed, bracing herself for whatever she was about to encounter. She glanced up at Kara one last time. “Remember that this isn't just about me. If you notice anything useful as a result of me being connected to the network—“

 

“We'll act on it,” Kara confirmed, more eager than ever to find the location of this android and disable its network now that Alex was about to be plugged into it. The sooner they stopped the android, the sooner Alex would be out of harm's way.

 

Following that assurance, Alex adjusted the VR headset, releasing a deep breath. "Okay. Send me in."

 

“Alright, here we go,” Winn spoke up. “Activating the program in three, two, one...”

 

The DEO lab disappeared in an instant. There was a buzz and a flash and a static spark that shot across her skin, like an old TV being switched on. Alex blinked at the abrupt transition from the real world into the neural network. She gathered her bearings, finding herself standing in a featureless, infinite white room, only it wasn't really a room, and she didn't entirely feel like she was standing.

 

Was that Winn's program taking effect, giving her visual feedback? Or was this what everyone saw when they were inside the mind-cloud? Was Maggie walking around in here, just like Alex was? Or was her consciousness nothing but dormant data?

 

Alex drew breath as she took it all in. It was bizarre, unlike anything her senses had ever encountered before. She could actually see the program taking digital information and trying to convert it into something she could perceive. She noticed glitches in the space around her, objects popping in and out of existence, switching back into code before her very eyes.

 

She raised her hand in front of her face. It didn't feel like it was there. Watching her arm flicker in and out of the blank void where it should have been didn't help matters. Her body wasn't real in this place, of course. This was just a simulated interface.

 

“I can see what you mean about it being in pre-alpha,” Alex remarked under her breath, attributing these errors to the limited time Winn had to write this program. It was obviously either unfinished, or not fully compatible with the tech behind the mind-cloud.

 

“Är du okej, Alex? Vad ser du?” A voice crackled in her ear.

 

“...What?” Alex squinted in confusion. It sounded like Winn, but...not Winn.

 

All of a sudden, her surroundings flashed. Something bumped into Alex, making her stumble back a step. She glanced up to see the vague, digital outline of a person in front of her – a woman.

 

“Ursäkta!” said the stranger. Alex narrowed her gaze as she watched her code flash into the image of a three-dimensional person and back again before moving away, continuing on past her, like nothing was out of the ordinary.

 

It was then that Alex perceived that she was in among dozens of such...people? She was standing in the middle of a street, or something that was attempting to be an approximation of a street. She arched a puzzled eyebrow, watching Winn's program attempt to render the code.

 

The people around her went about their business quite happily, oblivious to the seams and errors in their virtual space. The only problem was that Alex had no way of telling whether they were real, or whether they were as artificial as the world around them. Were these the same people who had been infected with the virus? Was this where the neural network had taken them? Or was Alex alone in there? Was she the sole human consciousness wandering amid a sea of hollow constructs?

 

“Kan jag hjälpa dig?” The sound of a voice made Alex turn around, realising a man was standing next to her in the street. His vague semblance of a form peered at Alex curiously when she didn't respond with anything but a stunned stare. “Något fel?”

 

“W-What?” Alex stammered, feeling more than a little lost. This place was so alien. She could barely comprehend where she was and what was happening. It was enough to give anyone a moment of anxiety. “I don't...I'm sorry, what do you want from me?”

 

“Förstår du inte? Talar du engelska?” the man asked her, eyeing her suspiciously.

 

Alex glimpsed the man go from code to a clear, visual representation, and back again. He was a police officer. Alex wasn’t entirely sure, but he looked like one of the ones she’d seen outside the mall, and he did not appear to trust her at all, finding her behaviour odd. She didn't need to speak his language to get the gist of what he was thinking. If she hung around, she got the sense she'd only get in trouble.

 

“I'm...I think I'm lost. Excuse me. I have to go,” Alex muttered, brushing past the cop, hoping to put some distance between him and herself. Fortunately, he didn't appear to follow her. That was good. She couldn't afford to get sidetracked. “Winn, what the hell is happening?” Alex asked, holding a finger to her ear. That time, she actually felt it, illusion or no. “I think I'm in the network, and...I might have found some of the victims, but I can't understand a word anybody says to me.”

 

“Sorry, sorry. That was my fault,” Winn's voice came into her ear, the sudden loudness startling her a little. “I just realised I accidentally had your audio set to Swedish. My bad.”

 

Alex stopped in her tracks and stared up at the digital code where the sky should have been. “...You had it set to _Swedish?_ ” she echoed, wondering how Winn had even managed to screw that up.

 

“Not anymore,” Winn mumbled, sounding suitably embarrassed.

 

“How is that even possible?” Alex asked. “That's not how the program works.”

 

“Yes, it is,” Winn curtly replied. “Which one of us is the biologist and which one of us is the computer guy? Mhmm. Yeah. That's what I thought. I know how my own program works a whole lot better than you do." Alex huffed, but didn't complain. "You're walking around in a sea of data right now, not actual images and sounds. I had to retool a translation program to simulate speech for you.”

 

“But why _Swedish_?” Alex pressed, unable to let that go.

 

“Focus on the mission, Alex," J'onn's voice came over the mic. “I don't want you in there longer than you need to be.”

 

“I'm not distracted; I just want to know this program is working with me and not against me,” Alex replied, continuing her path through the digital world, hoping she could rely on Winn's creation to keep her safe enough to enable her to rescue Maggie.

 

“So, like I tried to ask you before, what do you see?” Winn reiterated, this time in English.

 

“It's kind of hard to put into words,” said Alex, although she was starting to get used to the way things looked in the mind-cloud. “Not to jump to conclusions, but...I think the neural network the victims have been hooked into is some kind of...virtual reality?”

 

“You think?” Winn echoed.

 

“Well, I can't be sure; I'm pretty confident I'm not seeing _exactly_ what they are,” Alex acknowledged, reaching out to brush her hand against the nearest wall, which was nothing more than code. When she touched it, her fingers just went through it. “Your program is trying to render it, but it can't quite pull it off. I'm mostly only seeing code where objects or people are supposed to be.”

 

“That doesn't surprise me. I didn’t have much to work with. It should automatically adapt to the data it receives from the neural network over time, but I'll see if I can make some adjustments on the fly to speed things up,” Winn replied.

 

“Isn't that dangerous? I mean, Alex is in there,” Kara's voice came from the background, not speaking directly into the mic. Alex could barely hear her, and probably would have failed to do so if she hadn't already been concentrating on listening to Winn.

 

“It's an interface, Kara; I'm not rewriting her brain,” Winn pointed out. “I'm not rewriting your brain, Alex, just so you know,” he added, realising she'd most likely heard him say the first part completely out of context.

 

“Yeah, good,” Alex muttered, letting her attention drift from their conversation. Instead, she took to examining her environment in greater detail. “...Wait a second, I've been here before,” she said aloud, suddenly recognising why this faulty mock-up of a street struck her as familiar, despite its flaws. “Call me crazy, but I'm about ninety percent certain that this is National City.”

 

“That would make sense,” said Kara, that time intentionally speaking into the mic. “If it's anything like the Black Mercy, then what you're seeing is created by the memories of the people connected to the neural network. You're basically living inside a shared virtual construct.”

 

A moment of silence followed that observation.

 

“What? I'm from Krypton. I can be smart about technology,” Kara insisted, audibly pouting.

 

“Kara, you can't program a clock radio,” Alex remarked. She heard Winn snort. “But I think you hit the nail on the head about this. Whatever the purpose of this neural network is, it's trying to pass itself off as reality. The best way to do that would be to base it on people's thoughts.”

 

“So I guess I wasn't wrong about The Matrix comparison,” Kara remarked.

 

“Nope,” Alex agreed. “It’s the same principle; it’s an awful lot easier to trap people if you can manage to make them think they aren't trapped.”

 

“Yeah, well, just do your best to make sure you don't get fooled by this illusion too,” Kara warned, growing a little more comfortable now that it seemed like Alex wasn’t in any imminent peril inside the mind-cloud, but still wary.

 

“I...don't think that's likely, at this rate,” Alex commented, squinting as the wall beside her glitched into a blocky, flawed, angular image. That time, when she rested her fingers against it, it was tactile. She automatically chalked that up to Winn making corrections to his program.

 

Another thought occurred to Alex. If this fake National City was based on the memories of the people inside it, then it made sense to assume Maggie would most likely be living her life as she would have done on any average day, believing this world to be real. Upon that epiphany, Alex didn't hesitate, bolting down the street, brushing past people on her way to where she knew Maggie would be.

 

“Alex? What's going on? Why are you running?” asked Winn, following her actions through his screen.

 

“Because I think I know where to find Maggie,” Alex replied.

 

“Be careful, Alex,” J'onn warned, concerned that she appeared to have thrown all caution and discretion to the wind on a whim. “I know you want to find her, but you need to remember why you're in there. Stay focused on your priorities.”

 

“She _is_ my priority!” Alex said bluntly, not resting until she knew Maggie was okay.

 

“Alex—“

 

The scene around her glitched. In an instant, Alex wasn't on the street anymore. She was in the bar, which was exactly where she'd been heading a moment ago. She blinked, taken aback. Not only had she just spontaneously arrived there without knowing how she did it, but...well, unlike the street she'd been in before, this was a near perfect recreation. It looked so real. Unsettlingly so.

 

“Holy crap, Alex. What did you do?” asked Winn. Alex wished she knew, but she was equally clueless. “Unless my tracker is broken, you just jumped from one part of the network to another.”

 

“...Yeah, that happened,” Alex confirmed, more than a little apprehensive about that. She paused. “Wait, what do you mean I jumped from one part of the network to another? What does that mean? Are we talking about a...physical location, here?”

 

“Uh...” Winn hesitated.

 

Alex frowned, growing impatient. "Where's my brain, Winn?"

 

“This is going to sound kind of freaky, but...Put it this way, if Kara's theory holds true, and the people infected with the nanomachines are creating this reality with their minds, then that means each person is essentially a cloud server,” he explained.

 

“Okay.” Alex nodded, following his analogy.

 

“...According to this, you're uh...The host you're bouncing signals off of right now is...” Winn awkwardly trailed off, but it wouldn't have mattered if he'd said anything. Alex's focus had been soundly whisked away before Winn could finish his thought.

 

“Maggie...” Alex whispered. There she was, bent over the pool table, clad in a leather jacket.

 

She heard Winn clear his throat over the mic. “Yes, that's...that's correct.”

 

That thought sent a shiver down Alex's spine, even though she knew this wasn't her physical body. All the other patrons flickered out of existence momentarily. They weren't real, she deduced; they were just illusions, not inhabited by the minds of any actual people. Alex instinctively understood that must have been because this was how Maggie remembered the bar.

 

Alex noticed the imaginary patrons pop back into place. Maggie glitched too. For a moment, her outline was digital – a figment represented by lines of code. But Alex's own mind must have filled in the blanks, because any such defects vanished. And Maggie was perfect.

 

The next thing she knew, Maggie lifted her gaze, spotting Alex across the floor, near the door. Alex's breath caught when they locked eyes. She saw Maggie smile, just as she had so many times before when they met like this at the bar.

 

“Hey there, stranger,” Maggie greeted her, sauntering up to Alex with her pool cue still in hand, wearing a self-assured smirk. It felt so vivid, Alex thought. If this what everyone else saw, it was no wonder they were convinced this was all real. “I've been waiting on you.”

 

“You’re...you’re you, right?” Alex spoke, not sure what to make of this. 'Odd' didn't begin to describe it.

 

“I tend to be,” Maggie wryly replied as she stood before Alex, seeming to assume she was making some kind of joke. “I hear that’s normal.”

 

For as much as this looked and sounded like Maggie, Alex didn’t know if she could trust this to be anything more than a simulation. What if the program was merely using Maggie’s image in order to deceive her? Anything was possible, as far as Alex knew.

 

“...Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Alex cautiously instructed, thinking that was a good test. “Something only you’d know.”

 

Even though she plainly didn’t understand what kind of game Alex was playing, Maggie elected to humour her request. “I don’t like horses, because about half my childhood seemed to involve them trying to kill me,” was what she went with.

 

Her answer took Alex aback, making her utter a small chuckle of astonishment. “What, really?”

 

“Yeah. One fell on me and nearly crushed me against my grandmother’s truck when I was three. One kicked me in the face and broke my nose when I was six. When I tried to learn to ride one, I got thrown off because it saw a snake and panicked. So, if you've ever noticed a faded scar on my body, chances are it came from Mister Ed,” Maggie recounted, eliciting an amused snort from Alex. Maggie tilted her head in thought. “I didn’t tell you any of that before, did I?“ she asked, unable to recall if it had come up in the past.

 

“No, you definitely did not,” Alex confirmed, her lips curling into a half-giddy grin.

 

“Good. If I haven’t run out of stories, that means you can’t get bored of me yet,” Maggie replied, a twinkle of mischief glinting in her gaze.

 

For the first time since Maggie got hurt earlier that day, Alex truly smiled, unable to contain the relief that swept across her features. In some form or another, this was definitely Maggie. She hadn't been...erased, or lost. She was right there. And, in that moment, Alex didn't know whether she wanted to slap her over the head for scaring her like this or wrap her up in a hug.

 

She went with the latter, throwing her arms around Maggie, squeezing her tight as her eyes brimmed with tears of joy.

 

Maggie laughed, resting her pool cue against the counter to return Alex's embrace. "Glad to see you too."

 

"You have no idea," said Alex, shaking her head. It occurred to her just how tangible this all felt. Every detail was correct. The texture of Maggie's jacket. The sweltering humidity of body heat filling the bar. It would have astounded her if she didn't have more pressing matters on her mind. Alex had found Maggie. Her consciousness was intact. And now she had to help her escape.

 

That thought made Alex's heart pulse quicken with urgency, never forgetting that Maggie's life was potentially hanging in the balance. She had to act fast. If there was any way at all to get her out of the cloud, Alex wouldn’t dream of delaying it.

 

“Maggie, listen to me,” Alex began, drawing back and gently but firmly taking hold of her arms. Honestly, she hadn't planned this far ahead. How was she supposed to prove to Maggie that this wasn't reality? “I...I don't know how to say this without you thinking I'm crazy, but—“

 

“Then let me start by saying something even crazier,” said Maggie, her eyes shimmering beneath the lights. Except she didn't say anything at all. Instead, she leaned in and kissed Alex without so much as a split-second of doubt or hesitation. Her eyes widened at the unexpected brush of lips against her own, a startled shockwave shooting through her, rendering Alex too stunned to even think of resisting.

 

“O- _Oh_ , uh...O-Okay,” Alex heard Winn's voice nervously stutter in her ear. The knowledge that she was being watched hardly made Alex anymore comfortable with what was happening, even if her sexuality was no longer a secret. "...Go Alex."

 

"Shh! Don't...Don't look at your screen," Kara chastised, audibly batting Winn's hands away from his laptop.

 

She couldn't do anything. Hell, Alex could scarcely comprehend that this wasn't a dream, much less react. Her heart was thundering so hard that it felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. All her nerves were alight, leaving her momentarily paralysed, unable to move or think or speak as Maggie kissed her with a warmth and tenderness unlike anything Alex had ever known before. 

 

Maggie affectionately ran her fingers through Alex's hair as she broke the contact, boundless adoration glowing in her gaze. Alex was only about thirty percent sure she was still breathing, and so dazed that she was fairly convinced the sole reason she hadn't passed out was because this wasn't her physical body. Meanwhile, Maggie was acting as if that kiss was the most normal thing in the world.

 

“I was wrong, Alex,” Maggie continued on. “I've thought about it and...you were right. I haven't been...as present as I should have been.”

 

“I, uh...You...I...What?” was all Alex managed to stammer out, frozen like a deer in headlights.

 

“But it's not for the reasons you think,” Maggie assured her. “I've...been in my head lately, and...yeah, I guess I have kind of been evasive, but not because I don't take our relationship seriously. Actually, it's because I've been asking myself if it's time to show you how seriously I do.”

 

The word 'relationship' fell upon Alex's supremely stupefied skull like an anvil. It was also then that she suddenly became highly conscious of the distinct lack of noise from Kara, Winn or J'onn. They were doubtlessly just as flabbergasted by this as she was.

 

With that, Maggie took a step back, uttering an apprehensive chuckle. She glanced around the bar, regarding it with a slight shake of her head. “I know that maybe this isn't the most romantic place to do this, but what the heck? I know what I want, no matter where I say it. And, if anything, I think this feels like the most appropriate spot to make it official,” Maggie remarked.

 

Alex could only gawk at her vacantly, robbed of her wits. This was the real Maggie, wasn't it? It had to be, surely. Yet Maggie would never behave like this towards her. She wasn't interested in Alex as anything but a friend. So was this some elaborate ruse?

 

“These past three years have been...the happiest of my life,” Maggie confessed. Alex's brow twitched in confusion. Three years? How was that possible? “I'm not going to be that idiot who lets the best thing that ever happened to me get away because I'm too scared of commitment.”

 

“Maggie, what are you—?” Before Alex could finish that question, Maggie got down on one knee and withdrew a small, black velvet box from her back pocket. Alex's mind went as blank as if it had been wiped entirely. This couldn't be happening. Except it was.

 

“Alex Danvers,” Maggie began, popping open the box to reveal a diamond engagement ring, “Will you marry me?”

 

The stunned silence that came over her comms perfectly encapsulated Alex's thoughts in that moment.


	2. Brainstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still reeling from the revelation that Maggie believes they've been in a relationship for three years, Alex tries to convince Maggie that the world they're in isn't reality. It doesn't go well.

 

Alex's ears filled with a dull ring. Her blood ran cold. There was a lump in her throat.

 

She couldn't even begin to grasp what had happened. Maggie had...kissed her and...Hell, Maggie had just _proposed_ to her! Was she going crazy? Was the VR headset malfunctioning and making her see and hear the impossible? How else could she explain this?

 

“...Okay, I think this is the part where I stop listening,” Kara's voice came through the comms, followed by what sounded like her promptly walking away from Winn's desk in the DEO lab, having the decency to endeavour to give Alex some modicum of privacy.

 

“Too soon?” Maggie asked with a hint of apology, still down on one knee. “I thought it might be.”

 

“I, um...I don't...” Alex couldn't think straight. She could hardly think at all. Her lips were dry, and trembling.

 

“I am prepared to accept a 'no', just so you know,” Maggie remarked with a comfortable smile as she arose from the floor, attempting to quell Alex's obviously conflicted reaction. None of the bar patrons appeared to be paying attention. Of course not. They didn't exist. “No pressure.”

 

“I...I need something to drink. I'm so sorry,” Alex stammered out on instinct, making an excuse in order to grab a second alone. At least that would grant her a brief respite to shake the fog from her head, and hopefully allow her to process exactly what was going on.

 

“Okay. Sure,” Maggie replied, unfazed. “I'll save us a table. Then we can talk it over.”

 

“Right.” Alex released a shaky exhale, stumbling over to the counter as Maggie turned her back, every molecule in her skin vibrating with nervous energy. Alex didn't fail to notice M'gann's likeness there behind the bar when she lifted her line of sight. It wasn't her, of course. The real M'gann was in the DEO, in a cell. This was nothing more than Maggie's projection of her. “Can I get some water?”

 

“Coming right up,” M'gann told her, but she didn't move.

 

Alex blinked. Suddenly, the glass appeared in her hand. “Huh. Okay,” she muttered to herself, starting to figure out that there was more to this digital world than met the eye. It seemed to have its own laws, its own rules. What they were, though, Alex didn't know.

 

“Alex, can you hear me?” J'onn asked.

 

“Loud and clear,” Alex quietly replied, still reeling from what had just happened.

 

“I know you've got a lot to take in right now, but pay attention to your surroundings. Don't forget that this is a network – a program. Keep an eye out for cracks that will lead you to the epicentre of it,” J'onn advised, keeping his mind on the mission, as always.

 

“Sure thing,” Alex murmured, thinking it actually wasn't such a terrible idea to focus on something else in order to help her recover from her shock. Anything to distract her from the lingering echo of Maggie's lips against her own. Alex chased those thoughts into the shadows as best she could, remaining sharp, regathering her bearings to try and decode the mysteries of this mind-cloud.

 

"Right now, I'm not reading anything that suggests where the android is," said Winn, his fingers audibly tapping at his keyboard, gathering what information he could from the program that had sent Alex inside. "That's the thing about it being a cloud network, I guess. Even though I don't doubt the android is connected to the simulation, so much of the processing power seems to be dispersed between the brains of the victims and the nanomachines themselves that I think it's able to hide where its data is coming from."

 

"How so?" J'onn prompted, seeking clarification.

 

"Well, more or less, the same way you can hide your IP address using a proxy server," Winn replied. "Any data the android is sending through the network is passing through multiple people before it reaches you. It couldn't sustain this simulation otherwise."

 

"So, in order to find it in the real world, I'd need to make a direct link," Alex concluded, translating Winn's tech talk.

 

"Yeah, that would do it," Winn confirmed. "Just don't ask me how you're supposed to; that's your part, Alex."

 

“Winn, I have another question for you,” Alex spoke up again, letting her eyes scour the bar for anything that didn't fit her memories of it. “Time is passing normally for me, right? So how can Maggie think it's been three years when she's only been in here for four hours?”

 

“I don't know,” Winn answered honestly. This mind-cloud wasn't of his making; he'd merely sent Alex into it. Without more information, they could only make wild guesses. "Maybe this virtual reality everyone was dropped into is set three years in the future."

 

"But that doesn't make sense with what we know so far," Alex pointed out, stuck on that contradiction. "This world is supposed to be constructed on people's thoughts and experiences, so why would it engineer a scenario that hasn't happened? Wouldn't it shatter the illusion the android is trying to uphold by showing Maggie something she knows is different from her reality?"

 

“We're dealing with a simulation that's directly connected to her brain, Alex," Winn reminded her. "Even if the nanomachines didn't simply implant fake memories, which they totally could, I don't think this place is necessarily bound by the rules of linear time.”

 

“Or space,” Alex added, remembering how she'd teleported to the bar just by thinking of it. An epiphany came upon her then, striking her like a lightning bolt. “Oh, God. I think I just figured it out,” said Alex, leaning forward and holding her head in her hands as the revelation swept over her. “It's so obvious. I should have noticed it sooner.”

 

“What do you mean? Tell us,” Kara urged, approaching the microphone again, audibly worried.

 

“It's...It's...It's like you said, Kara: it's _thought_ ,” Alex explained, although it was more of a hypothesis than a fact. There was more to it than mere speculation, though. “This world is constructed on the thoughts of the people in it. That's what's happening here; you think about something and it becomes reality. Just like how I thought of being here at the bar and...suddenly, there I was, or how I wanted something to drink and, boom, I...imagined a glass of water into existence. So Maggie must have...”

 

"...Thought her way through three years of being with you?" Kara finished on Alex's behalf, assuming that was what she meant.

 

That concept made Alex's fingers tremble. If that was true, then...holy crap. She glanced back over her shoulder, looking at Maggie, struggling to comprehend this. Maggie had told her she only wanted to be friends, but here she was. She'd had the opportunity to dream up her own reality. And, out of all the infinite possibilities, her subconsciously chosen vision was one where she'd been with Alex for three years.

 

In the world Maggie had unwittingly willed into existence, she and Alex were about to get engaged.

 

Alex swallowed heavily. If she was right, then that changed everything between them. Or maybe she was reading far too much into it. Maybe it didn't actually mean Maggie felt that type of way about her. Perhaps it had nothing to do with any underlying romantic interest.

 

...Nope. Nope, this was the one time where Alex definitely thought she had a good reason to think that this was more than a mere coincidence. She was not overreacting by asking herself these questions. Whatever else, Maggie hadn't wound up in this reality by accident; on some level, she had _wanted_ this with Alex, at least at some stage. And that prospect honestly didn't make confronting this any less intimidating.

 

Alex took a deep drink of water, suddenly wishing she'd ordered something stronger.

 

“Okay, I'm going back in,” Alex announced, summoning the courage to talk to Maggie.

 

“Good luck, and congratulations on your engagement,” said Winn, followed by a brief silence. “...What? They'd be good together.”

 

Alex would have told him to shut up but, then again, that would have just made her look like she was talking to herself, which probably wasn't the best opener when her plan to get Maggie out of here relied on convincing her that she _wasn't_ delusional.

 

“You okay?” Maggie asked as Alex took up a seat opposite her at their small table.

 

That question prompted Alex to sigh, overwhelmed. Words hadn't yet been invented that accurately encapsulated the state Alex was in. “Honestly, this wasn't what I was expecting,” she admitted, even if Maggie didn't comprehend the extent of that vast understatement.

 

“It's fine,” Maggie assured her, shaking her head to dismiss Alex's fears. “I'm not mad if you need a bit of time to think about it. I mean, I took time; you're allowed to do it too,” she pointed out, unaware that Alex had not been referring to her proposal. Or, not entirely. "Now, what was the crazy thing you wanted to tell me before?"

 

“Can you just...” Alex cut her off, hesitating. “...What day is it?”

 

“Thursday,” Maggie replied.

 

“No, I mean...what date do you think it is?” Alex asked her, trying to figure this all out. She had her suspicions, but they could have been wrong. She had to eliminate the alternatives. “I know this sounds like a weird question, but please just...answer me.”

 

Maggie crinkled her brow in confusion, but played along all the same. “It's, uh...Well, it was the twenty-third when I got bread from the store on Monday, so today must be the twenty-sixth,” Maggie responded, checking her phone to confirm it. “Twenty-sixth of March. There you go.”

 

“Tell me the year,” Alex persisted. That was the crux of it.

 

“...It's twenty-twenty,” said Maggie, visibly perplexed as to why Alex had asked her that. A small spark of doubt passed across her features. “Alex, are you okay?” Maggie questioned her, regarding her curiously, starting to suspect something wasn't normal.

 

“Yeah, I am,” Alex assured her, crystallising her view of the situation. This wasn't an alternate version of twenty-sixteen where they'd known each other for a long time. There was no mistake; Maggie genuinely did appear to believe three whole years had passed.

 

After a moment, Maggie chuckled. "Ah. Okay. I get it. Very funny." Alex stared at her oddly, not following what she meant by that. "No, seriously, was there actually something important you wanted to tell me, or were you just using that whole 'I have something crazy to tell you' thing as a set up for a joke?" Maggie asked, brushing it off as a dumb punchline on Alex's part.

 

“Maggie, please, you have to understand what's happening here,” said Alex, reaching across the table to touch her hand, holding her gaze, imploring Maggie to trust her revelations, no matter how preposterous they seemed. “This world we're in, this isn't reality.”

 

“Uh, okay. Sure. Whatever." Maggie quirked a mildly amused eyebrow, clearly still thinking Alex was screwing around.

 

“I know how absurd it sounds, but...we're in a cloud network created by an alien android,” Alex explained as best she could. She wasn't sure if she was risking drawing attention to herself inside the virtual space by stating that aloud, but she had to try and break Maggie out somehow, no matter the cost. “You're lying in a bed in the DEO med lab with nanomachines in your head. They're creating this simulation. Winn managed to build his own program to send me in here after you. That's why I can see through it; I'm not infected.”

 

Alex could tell from her expression that Maggie was quietly gauging whether this weird behaviour was evidence that she was already drunk. Eventually, Maggie sighed, rolling her eyes at Alex's strange demeanour. “One of these days, I'm going to understand your sense of humour,” she remarked, perceiving this as naught but continued attempts to repeatedly run a bad joke into the ground.

 

“I'm not kidding,” Alex insisted, begging Maggie to realise that. Her heart sank at the thought of what she had to do; it pained her to think that she was tearing Maggie out of a dream in which she seemed so content. It was no wonder she would subconsciously resist any attempts to poke holes in the simulation. But this world was a fiction - possibly a deadly one. They had to leave.

 

“I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's December fourteenth, twenty-sixteen," Alex continued, a solemn sympathy glimmering in her eyes, imagining how horrible it must have felt to have her life and her very perception of the world exposed as nothing more than an elaborate deception. If Maggie really believed she'd been in here that long, how would she ever be able to trust herself again? God, Alex shuddered to think of how badly that could affect a person. "These past three years...th-they weren't with me. That never happened,” she confessed.

 

“Okay, that seriously isn't funny,” Maggie bluntly interjected. She had a high threshold of tolerance, but hearing Alex pretend she didn't remember their entire relationship was not remotely entertaining, even if she was in an altered state. “Don't ever joke about that.”

 

“Maggie, I'm not drunk and I'm not high and I'm not lying to you!” Alex spoke, louder than before, though with no less compassion. “Believe me, I get it; I get how hard this is going to be for you to hear, but please just listen to me. Just _listen_ to what I'm saying.”

 

“It's not working, Alex,” J'onn cautioned her, sensing it was futile to persist. “You may not be able to break the illusion.”

 

"J'onn has a point," Winn concurred. "Don't forget that Maggie has literal machines inside her head influencing her neural pathways. They're physically altering her brain. They may be preventing her from forming any thought that would deny the simulation control over her."

 

“I have to try!” Alex snapped back at him. Maggie squinted at her, disconcerted by the sight of Alex talking to herself. “Maggie, please. Think about it. This is nothing but code!” she professed, getting up from her seat and gesturing at the bar around them. "This table is code. This stool is code. You and I, these aren't our bodies; we're just data in the network right now."

 

“Alex, don't...” Maggie raised her hand, all prior levity having fallen from her face, gesturing for Alex to lower her voice and calm down, clearly wary of the prospect of her causing a scene. “I don't know what's happening to you, but you are obviously not in your right mind.”

 

“You have no idea how wrong you are,” Alex grimly responded. “You've been brainwashed by this program. These people you see around you don't exist; they're only here because you subconsciously remember all the faces you normally see at the bar, but they're fake! Seriously, I could probably throw a glass at them right now and nothing would happen, because they aren't real.”

 

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” Maggie urged at what had sounded like a threat of violence towards bystanders in the bar, moving forward, unfiltered concern enveloping her stare as she approached Alex. “Don't do anything rash. Let's talk about this.”

 

“There's nothing to talk about! You're in a simulation!” Alex reiterated, her stress getting the better of her.

 

“Don't get frustrated,” Kara advised, hearing exactly what was happening. “This isn't helping.”

 

“I can't be calm, Kara. We don't know if this thing's going to kill her or not!” Alex replied. Yet again, Maggie's brow furrowed when she saw her speaking to someone who wasn't there. A thought sprang to Alex's mind then, giving her an idea that might allow Maggie to see this false construct for what it was. "Okay, if you think we've been together for three years, where and when did that even start?" she challenged, suspecting that memory didn't actually exist, because that event had never occurred.

 

Maggie looked like she'd been slapped - betrayed, even - realising Alex really didn't remember. "...I kissed you on New Year's Eve by the window in your sister's apartment. Everyone else had gone to the roof to watch the fireworks. The next day, we went for coffee and talked about it. You were wearing a green top and a black jacket. I'm pretty sure 'Piano In The Dark' was playing on the radio when I placed my order," Maggie recounted without so much as a quiver of uncertainty, recalling everything perfectly. "That was when I asked you out on our first date."

 

Alex blinked, her brow creasing in puzzlement, starting to wonder whether Maggie really had lived through three years' worth of virtual reality. Maybe Winn was right and these experiences had been implanted by the neural network rather than that much simulated time truly passing, but, if so, they must have been placed in her mind with such vivid detail that Maggie had no reason to suspect they weren't true.

 

"You _know_ this, Alex," Maggie persisted, moving another step closer, trying to break through to her.

 

"...No. No, I don't know this, because I wasn't there. We never did those things," said Alex, begging Maggie to recognise the truth in what she was saying, no matter how difficult it was to accept, or how badly she may have wanted to refute it.

 

“Did something happen to you?” Maggie asked, examining Alex for signs of injury from a safe distance, struggling to figure out why she didn't remember. “It did, didn't it? You must have...you...had your memories erased by an alien? Or...you hit your head, or...?”

 

“No, Maggie, that's not—“ Before Alex could insist that she had this all backwards, everything around her flashed. Images screeched across her vision like smoking tyres on speeding cars as static blacked out her senses.

 

Alex saw herself beside Maggie, the two of them firing bullets at an alien threat. It charged towards her, moving faster than Alex could register. The creature barrelled into her, striking her so hard that it flung her back thirty feet. Her head collided with a concrete pillar.

 

“ _Alex, no!_ ” Maggie cried out, her horror tearing at her vocal cords like razor blades.

 

The scene was cut short by an electric shock. The next thing Alex knew, her eyes fluttered open. She was in a hospital room. Maggie sat beside her bed. Everything except her was glitching, turning into code, not quite rendered. But the pain in Alex's skull felt so real.

 

“Hey,” Maggie whispered to her, reaching out to gently stroke her forehead with a tearful smile.

 

“What the hell just happened?! Alex? Alex?!” she was vaguely aware of Winn's voice in her ear, but it was distant, faded. She couldn't concentrate on it, much less respond. Alex felt a cannula in her arm, hooked up to a drip. Her mouth was covered by an oxygen mask. 

 

“Winn, what's wrong?” Kara's urgent voice followed.

 

Another static zap shot through Alex. Her headset fell silent. She couldn't hear Kara or Winn or J'onn. Only the ambient noise of the hospital. The beeping of her IV machine. A phone ringing at the nurses' station outside. She felt woozy. Her limbs were so heavy.

 

“You trying to give me a heart attack?” Maggie asked, putting on a brave face. From the redness and swelling around her eyes, Alex could tell that she'd been crying. The walls behind her were code, but it almost didn't matter. “For a second there, it looked like I was going to lose you. Should have known you were tougher than that. It turns out, you were really lucky.”

 

“What happened?” asked Alex, not sure how to make sense of the sequence of events. She'd been with Maggie in the bar, then they'd been fighting an alien, and now she was here. Her throat hurt. Alex suspected she must have been on a ventilator at some point prior.

 

Maggie glanced down momentarily, swallowing in an effort to keep her composure. “We were pursuing a hostile alien a few days ago. It wasn't...We underestimated how strong it was going to be. It knocked you back and...you hit your head. Hard.” Maggie couldn't even feign a hollow smile anymore, silently fighting to repress the tears behind her eyes. “You've been in an induced coma for four days.”

 

Injured though she was, Alex's eyes widened at that. Four days? Oh, no. If that was true, Kara must have been frantic.

 

...No, wait, that didn't make sense. Why wouldn't they have pulled Alex out, if it had been that long?

 

"They said they had to do that to stop the swelling," Maggie continued, gently clasping Alex's hand. "For a while, they didn't know how extensive the damage was. That's why I said you were lucky; once the inflammation died down, it looked to be contained to a few, small areas."

 

“What day is it?” Alex asked, needing to know, even if the pain in her head made it incredibly hard to think straight. “Please, tell me.”

 

“It's Thursday,” Maggie answered.

 

“The date,” Alex specified, vexed by having to essentially have the same conversation twice.

 

“March twenty-sixth, twenty-twenty,” Maggie told her, that time adhering to her request without issue.

 

Alex drew breath in shock, the suddenness of her intake making her chest hurt and her vision blur. How was that possible? That was the exact same date Maggie had said before. But, according to her, four days should have passed since then.

 

Frankly, Alex wasn't even going to pretend she had so much as half a clue as to what was going on anymore.

 

“I'm not going to sugarcoat it; you got hurt pretty bad this time, Alex,” Maggie quietly broke the silence when Alex didn't respond, staring down at her pale palm, caressing her lifeline with her thumb. “I don't think either of us would have made it out if Supergirl hadn't shown up.”

 

“Supergirl?” Alex echoed, her pulse spiking, momentarily unnerved to think of Kara being in there with her.

 

"Yeah. You remember her, don't you?" Maggie asked without judgement or presumption, meeting Alex's gaze.

 

That tension soon washed away. There was actually a reasonable explanation for that, Alex realised. Of course Maggie, along with everyone else trapped in here, would logically imagine a National City that had Supergirl in it. Her existence was a part of their lives – the very memories that had been used to construct this fake world. It didn't mean Kara had gone into the mind-cloud.

 

And yet Maggie didn't know Supergirl was really Kara, so her imagined version of Alex had never been able to divulge her true identity over these past three years, if those three years had even transpired. For all Alex knew, Maggie had simply woken up in a fake future.

 

“Sorry if that sounds like a stupid question, but they said...” All of a sudden, Maggie hesitated for some reason, her grip tightening on Alex's fingers. She sniffled and blinked a solitary tear free of her eyelashes, the droplet rolling down her already stained cheek. It was strange, Alex thought; she'd never seen Maggie cry before. It felt wrong to witness her vulnerability in such falsely engineered circumstances.

 

“What?” Alex prompted, squeezing Maggie's hand in comfort, unable to see her like that.

 

“...They said the areas where they found the damage are known to cause retrograde amnesia. They warned me you might not remember a lot of things. Anything, really. That you might have...at _best_ lost just the last few years of your life,” said Maggie, her voice coloured with hues of grief and sorrow. Alex's heart ached as she watched her. There was nothing artificial about the visceral pain etched on Maggie's face. “...Do you remember us? That we were together?” she asked, desperate to hope that Alex hadn't forgotten all that they'd shared.

 

“Maggie, I...” Alex didn't know how to respond. Of course she didn't, because those three years of fond memories Maggie held so dear had never happened. Maggie never had that relationship. Not with the real Alex. It was nothing but a construct of the simulation.

 

“I just...I thought I should tell you in case you don't know what we are to each other, so it doesn't freak you out,” Maggie said with a slight stammer, gently stroking Alex's bare bicep. “But the thing is that...we've been living together for two and a half years, and...I've been your girlfriend for a little over three,” she explained. Alex felt the tremor in her fingers. “Did you...Do you remember that?”

 

It hurt to look at her and see how much those experiences meant to her. They may not have been real, but Maggie didn't know that. As far as she was concerned, that was her life. In that moment, Alex didn't have the strength to take that away from her.

 

Alex thought about lying to her and saying she did remember, just to spare Maggie the pain, but that wouldn't have been right. Aside from betraying her trust by, in essence, faking her identity, any attempt to pass herself off as the imaginary Alex that Maggie had been with in this world would have fallen apart the moment she unwittingly said something wrong, or failed to recall some significant detail.

 

Moreover, trying to convince her that this was all an illusion didn't seem to have worked last time. Besides, Alex was a little afraid that having that discussion might have been what resulted in her head injury. In her state, she couldn't chance it. That left her with few viable options. She couldn't lie, but she also couldn't tell Maggie the truth about this simulation.

 

So, the answer she gave was an honest one, but not the whole story: “...No.” Her quiet confession was spoken with a deep sense of remorse, silently apologising for how deeply she knew it would crush Maggie to hear it. “I don't.”

 

The look of devastation that befell Maggie at that was exactly as bad as Alex had feared it would be, even if she covered it up quickly. “That's okay,” Maggie assured her, doing her utmost to force herself to smile, staying strong for her. “I'll just have to tell you all about it. Pretty soon, it will be like you haven't missed a step, right?” she suggested, choosing the path of optimism.

 

Hearing that brought another layer of misery to Alex's mind. Those stories represented a possible future Alex could have had with the woman she loved. Their first date. Their first reciprocal kiss. The day they moved in. The mundanities and minutiae of everyday life together.

 

These were things she'd craved so much. In a way, Alex lamented that she hadn't been able to be part of it – that she'd been robbed of the opportunity to share those things with her. Even if this world was a fantasy, living that lie together would have been real, because Maggie wouldn't have formed those memories in isolation, unaware they only existed inside her head.

 

But, then again, Alex knew it was for the best that she hadn't been infected with the nanomachines along with everyone else. After all, if she was the one in Maggie's position, and Maggie was in hers, it would have broken Alex to learn this was nothing more than a product of her own imagination – that she'd been alone the entire time she genuinely thought she was building a future with the woman she loved. It sickened her, honestly; how cruel did the android behind this mind-cloud have to be to do something like that to a person?

 

“Don't get me wrong; I'm not presuming you'll want to be with me just because you were before. But I'll be here for you, no matter what,” Maggie promised, and that support wasn't ever going to be conditional on Alex loving her back.

 

“Maggie...” Alex's heart sank, empathising with the very despair Maggie was trying so valiantly to conceal. Even if this simulated world wasn't real, Maggie was. Accordingly, Alex couldn't abide that needless suffering that dampened the light in her eyes. “I may not remember what we had, but I've had feelings for you since...pretty much the moment we met,” she admitted, finding it hard to speak louder than a mumble through her concussion. “It's going to take a lot more than a blow to the head to make me forget that.”

 

Her comforting words must have worked because, for once, Maggie's effort to smile didn't look quite so hollow. “That's a good place to start, then,” she said, tenderly brushing strands of Alex's hair back from her forehead once more. “There are worse things that could happen than getting the chance to go back to the beginning and fall in love with each other all over again, right?" Maggie noted, gazing down upon Alex with the purest devotion. "Maybe I won't screw things up with you as badly as I almost did the last time around.”

 

Alex didn't know what she meant by that, but she didn't have the energy left to ask.

 

* * *

 

It was a week before they let Alex leave the hospital. Even then, they had been reluctant. The only reason the doctors complied - real ones, who had been caught up in the attack on the shopping mall - was because Alex had badgered them into carrying out all the necessary tests on her mental acuity and motor functions. While she wasn't anywhere close to one hundred percent, she'd managed to prove to them that she didn't need to remain under their care, though they had booked her in for follow-up appointments and rehab.

 

Little did they know that, if Alex had her way, she would never need to go.

 

The reason Alex had been so motivated to be released was because she'd heard no word from the outside in all that time. She'd tried to contact the others in her moments alone, but to no avail. Every time she'd sat on her bed and called for Winn or Kara or J'onn, her only response was silence. Alex had no idea what was going on, or why they hadn't pulled her out of the simulation but, as far as she could see, she didn't have much choice but to recover and get back on her feet as fast as possible. If she was trapped in here, then that made it all the more crucial to start looking for ways to break herself and the rest of the victims out of this illusion from the inside.

 

Alex only hoped she managed to achieve that without sustaining further blunt force trauma.

 

“I don't know why you didn't want to take a wheelchair,” said Maggie, letting Alex lean on her for support as they took the elevator up to their floor. Alex did not appreciate the fact that it looked like they were hovering on nothing but data, given it felt like she could expect to fall straight through the floor and plummet down the shaft at any moment. This whole building was unfamiliar to her, and nothing more than digital outlines, with the occasional low-resolution texture pop-in. “You don't have to force yourself to walk.”

 

“I'm fine,” Alex insisted, intent on powering through whatever pain she was in. This head injury wasn't even real. It may have felt like it was, but her body was lying safe and sound in the DEO's medical lab. This was nothing more than a very persuasive illusion.

 

The elevator dinged, letting them out into the hallway.

 

“So, from your perspective, this is going to be your first time seeing our apartment,” Maggie surmised with a smile, not really sure what Alex did or didn't remember, but taking an optimistic attitude. At least, that was the face Maggie had worn for Alex's sake. She didn't know how much she believed it and how much of it was just an act to help both of them cope with their situation. “It's kind of neat, you know - I get to introduce you to it all over again, like when we first moved in together. I hope you like it as much as you did before.”

 

With that, Maggie opened the door. A glitch rippled across Alex's surroundings. She still saw code everywhere, but she'd been in this realm long enough to know that the more familiar she was with something, the more tangible it became. That was why Maggie always looked exactly like her real self, and why the hospital room had started to take a more consistent shape by the time Alex left.

 

“What do you think?” asked Maggie.

 

Alex didn't know how to tell her that she couldn't see anything but raw data, so she chose the simpler option: lying. “It's great. I love it.”

 

“You should; you picked most of this out,” Maggie remarked. “I got a say on, like, two lamps.”

 

Alex snorted. Okay, so Maggie had got that part of her personality completely right. Not that she decorated often but, if there was ever a piece of furniture in her apartment she didn't like, it would bother Alex to no end for all eternity. Or until she threw it in the garbage. Evidently, Maggie had predicted how finicky she could be when things didn't fit the way they were supposed to.

 

That said, it was kind of bizarre to think about how accurate or inaccurate the neural network's version of Alex was. Maggie had only known her for roughly two months. Suffice it to say, these three years that had transpired in her mind had been extrapolated from incomplete data.

 

It did touch Alex to realise how happy Maggie was with her, though. There was no doubt that she had feelings for her. The confusing thing was, had Maggie possessed those feelings for her before she got infected with the virus or not? Moreover, would the real Alex be a disappointment compared to Maggie's fantasy version of Alex when they got out of this world?

 

“Can I ask you something?” said Alex as Maggie helped set her down on the couch, seeing no reason to avoid asking at least one pressing question that was on her mind.

 

“Sure thing,” Maggie happily replied as she took up a seat beside her. “I imagine you have a lot of questions.”

 

“That's an understatement. I mean, my memories are kind of...stuck in late twenty-sixteen,” Alex explained, not entirely sure how to approach this. Thankfully, the amnesia excuse should have covered any weirdness. “What I remember is...I kissed you after coming out to Kara, and you turned me down. I was hurt, but we went back to being friends. Because that was what you...told me you wanted.”

 

“Yeah. I remember that too,” Maggie said with an affectionate smile, glad to know Alex hadn't lost all of her memories, even if she had unfortunately lost the most important years. Ultimately, it was plain to see that Maggie simply appreciated how lucky she was that Alex had survived the accident. Everything else was secondary. "What would you like to know?"

 

“When did you change your mind about me?” asked Alex. Part of her wondered if it was wrong of her to find this out, but then again what was the protocol for how to react when locked in a virtual reality where the woman she was madly in love with seemed like she loved her back?

 

Maggie chuckled at that, her hand unconsciously resting on Alex's knee. “What makes you think I had to change my mind?” Maggie remarked.

 

“Y-Y-You...uh,” Alex stammered, her heart fluttering. That was a pretty big thing to absorb. “O-Okay. B-But you said—”

 

“Three years ago, I said that,” Maggie reminded her, resting her elbow on the back of the sofa, perching two fingers against her temple, propping her head up on her hand. “It took me some time to figure things out and get to a place where I was able to get past my own hang-ups enough to realise what a dumbass I was for letting you go, even if I thought I was doing it for the right reasons. But I always liked you, Alex. Whether I knew exactly how much I did at the time or not, I always did.”

 

Her eyes shone at that. “Really?” Alex all but whimpered, her voice soft, but full of tentative hope.

 

“Of course I did,” Maggie replied, dismissing the thought that she could ever have done otherwise. “You're gorgeous, Alex. You're smart. You're passionate. You're...brave to the point that it's a little scary, sometimes. You're the most genuine person I know; you're completely incapable of putting on false pretences, and you can't stand having to bite your tongue about anything, because that's how committed you are, and how much you care about whatever you believe in, big or small. You devote your entire being to every single thing that you do. Frankly, I think I was doomed to fall in love with you,” she stated casually, looking at Alex like she was the centre of her universe.

 

Alex couldn't quite contain a bashful chuckle, avoiding her gaze, toying with the sleeves of her shirt. The sheer contentment that glistened in Maggie's eyes whenever their stares met was enough to unravel her thread by thread. The fact that warmth, that affection and those words were directed at her was honestly overwhelming, but it made Alex feel like she was soaring through the clouds.

 

...The other type of cloud, that is.

 

“What's funny?” Maggie asked with an air of playfulness, enjoying the effect she was having on her.

 

“I'm sorry, it's just...” Alex trailed off momentarily, gesturing in the general direction of her own head. “...In my mind, I'm not used to you saying these things. Hell, I'm not even accustomed to you calling me 'Alex' so much. It was usually always 'Danvers', you know?” she pointed out, finding it strange to adjust to how different things were, and yet how similar their dynamic was.

 

“I still call you Danvers, Danvers,” Maggie teased.

 

“Good. I'm glad,” Alex remarked, uttering a shy chuckle, focusing on her hands in her lap. But her expression faltered, a sad doubt lingering in the back of her mind, making her queasy. Maggie's apparent infatuation with her was still premised on the belief that she was _her_ Alex, and she wasn't. Even if Maggie was telling the truth about having feelings for her before, that didn't change the fact that she essentially loved another woman - a woman who wore her face, but who wasn't her. Those three years of fake memories tainted all their interactions.

 

"You don't look glad," Maggie observed, picking up on her mounting melancholy.

 

Alex exhaled to expel some of her nerves, managing to make eye contact again at last. “Perhaps it's selfish of me, but...the more I think about your old Alex and all the things I've missed, the more it scares me," she confessed, seeing no point in hiding that.

 

"Why?" Maggie asked, having no desire to make Alex uncomfortable on account of their past relationship.

 

"Because I'm worried you're not going to feel the same way about me anymore,” Alex admitted upfront, not quite foolish enough to hope that this couldn't all be taken away the moment Maggie woke up. Everything, including this very conversation, could be forgotten in the blink of an eye. Hell, in many ways, it would have been for the best if Maggie didn't remember this reality when they escaped the simulation. Even if it meant she went back to only wanting to be friends with Alex, a fresh start would be fairer on both of them.

 

At least then Alex would know that Maggie didn't love a phantom.

 

The corner of Maggie's lip curled into a sorrowful sort of smile. “Then that's something else we have in common. Except, in my case, it's the other way around,” Maggie acknowledged, equally afraid that Alex would no longer love her the way she used to.

 

Even though she had been doing her utmost to act light-hearted and upbeat through their adversity, that thought seemed to push Maggie past her comfort zone. She glanced away and sat back, clearing her throat as she tried to cover it, suppressing whatever had bubbled to the surface. Nevertheless, she couldn't prevent the fleeting look of torment that flickered across her face. Alex didn't fail to notice it.

 

“Hey.” Alex reached out to gently graze Maggie's cheek, urging her not to withdraw. “What's that for?”

 

Maggie shook her head, dismissing Alex's concern with her laid-back charms. “It's...It's stupid. Don't worry about it,” Maggie assured her, attempting to fall back into her casual, carefree demeanour and brush off her inadvertent slip.

 

“Try me,” Alex encouraged, lightly nudging Maggie's knee with her own. The mask she was wearing began to crack. Not entirely, but just enough that she could see the wheels turning in Maggie's head, considering whether to come forward about what had her preoccupied.

 

“I'm sorry, it's just...The last time we were here together, we were having this...ridiculous fight,” Maggie told her, the regret obvious in her gaze. It was plain to see that she was finding it increasingly hard to keep up the positive energy she'd tried to give off for Alex's benefit. “You were saying how we'd been living together a long time, and you felt like I'd started taking our relationship for granted.”

 

“Had you?” Alex asked, curious.

 

“No,” Maggie answered. She glanced down, as if finding it difficult to speak on this subject, or as though she wasn't sure how honest she should be. Evidently, she decided to go for it. “The truth is that I was...acting a little evasive towards you for those few weeks because I was thinking about proposing, and I didn't know if I was ready, or you were ready, or...” Maggie trailed off into silence, not meeting Alex's eyes. “But then you got hurt before I could work up the courage to finally do it, so I guess it didn't matter.”

 

Alex felt the subtle sting of moisture on the surface of her eyes. Of course. How could she forget? After all, the first thing Maggie had done when she found her in this world a week ago was get down on one knee and pop the question, at least up until time rewound and the past was changed to give Alex this head injury. Maggie wouldn't remember proposing, but she probably still had the ring.

 

“Who knows? You might get the chance to do it again someday,” Alex reassured her, praying that it wasn't wishful thinking on her part to dare to dream of a day when something like that might happen in the real world, and not because of any false memories.

 

Those words prompted Maggie to look up at her again, holding her gaze. “...I really hope I do,” she confessed, and Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the single most genuine thing she had ever heard Maggie say. “Again, no pressure, but—“

 

“You're not pressuring me into anything,” Alex quietly insisted, and she was sure of that, even as she was internally wrestling with no end of tumultuous feelings and confusing dilemmas in her heart. "I do want this, you know? _Us_. Being with you is something I've..." Alex caught herself, wishing she could simply come out and say how she felt about Maggie, but knowing it wasn't right. She couldn't get attached. She had to be prepared for the fact that this destiny might not be waiting for her when she got out of the simulation.

 

But, in a moment like this, how could Alex not remember precisely why she'd fallen in love with Maggie in the first place? How could Alex possibly go back to seeing her as nothing but a friend? Having this experience was only serving to remind her of exactly how badly she craved this future with Maggie – how desperately she yearned to be in a relationship like this with the woman of her dreams.

 

Was it any wonder Alex's efforts to move past Maggie had been to no avail? This simulation had inadvertently shown Alex what they could have had together. And, yes; so far, being with Maggie was proving to be just as enticing as she had imagined.

 

It felt so right. She _belonged_ here.

 

Maggie must have seen those emotions glimmering in Alex's eyes as she sat there, unable to give them voice, because the next thing she did was lean forward, hesitating as she drew near, waiting for any sign of resistance. Alex tensed at her proximity, and her breath faltered, but she didn't pull back or withdraw. Sensing no objection, Maggie closed the gap, kissing her softly.

 

This time, Alex surrendered to the powerful pull between them and tentatively kissed her back, even as her heart thudded like a drum inside her chest. Maggie didn't force anything, giving Alex the opportunity to pull back, if she wished. But she didn't. Instead, Alex cautiously reached out and cupped Maggie's cheek, her fingers ever so slightly quaking against her skin as she savoured each slow, gentle caress of her lips, holding onto this precious moment, engraving it in her memory while she still had the chance. 

 

Yes, she was no less conflicted, torn over whether or not kissing her like this was an unforgivable transgression. After all, Maggie was under the effect of the nanomachines and their simulation; her mind was altered, in that respect. Even though Alex hadn't lied or passed herself off as the Alex she loved, part of her still felt as though she was taking advantage of Maggie in this situation – capitalising on the existence of feelings that were based on artificial memories. But, when their lips touched, her control had slipped away, leaving her at the mercy of the sensations that coursed through her. All she wanted to do was let her resolve crumble, and fall to pieces in her embrace.

 

Before they could deepen the contact, Alex grimaced, abruptly flinching away on account of the pain in her head. “Sorry,” she whispered, embarrassed and apologetic on more than one level. That had been a bad decision. This was so messed up.

 

“Don't be. I shouldn't have done that anyway,” Maggie acknowledged, well aware of the degree to which Alex had been hurt in the accident, and believing she'd lost her memories. Maggie probably felt just as guilty for that kiss as Alex did.

 

"No, it's not your fault," Alex told her, the distance between them on the couch suddenly feeling ten times smaller. "Like I told you before, I do want this," Alex avowed, and that hadn't changed. She didn't want Maggie to think otherwise. "It just has to be in the right way, and for the right reasons. But I want it to be with you." Her eyes met Maggie's then, her stare conveying her honesty.

 

Those words elicited a tender smile. "Then we should be sensible in how we get there," Maggie replied, making it plain that she was willing to move at any pace Alex was comfortable with. Her easy acceptance and understanding made Alex release some of the tension from her body, grateful for that. “Uh, listen, I...I know this is sort of a weird time to bring this up, but...well, I've spent pretty much the whole last week with you in hospital so, uh, I haven't exactly been able to keep our pantry stocked,” Maggie somewhat awkwardly changed the subject.

 

“Yeah, you should...you should do that. Don't let me stop you,” said Alex, not averse to having a little time alone to let her swirling emotions simmer down to a sustainable state. Plus, it would give her a chance to get acquainted with the apartment, and think about her mission – the entire reason she'd entered into the mind-cloud to begin with. Now that she didn't appear to have anyone on the outside to guide her through the simulation, Alex knew it might take her a while to figure out a plan as to what to do and where to go in the network in order to locate the android's position in the real world, or dismantle its network from within. “You go.”

 

“Are you sure?” Maggie asked, concerned. “I thought it might be safer if you came with me.”

 

“Come on, it's just a mild...traumatic brain injury,” Alex remarked. Maggie was not inclined to laugh at that. “Honestly, nothing's going to happen to me if you're at the supermarket for half an hour. I'll probably only be sleeping on the couch the whole time,” she promised, although she did plan on being a little more productive. “And, if you feel bad, then you can make it up to me by making lunch when you get back.”

 

Maggie snorted. “So that's why you're sending me out,” she jokingly deduced. "You're just hungry."

 

“What?” said Alex, squirming guiltily. “I've been living on hospital food; it's enough to _make_ me sick.”

 

“Alright, fine; you've got yourself a deal,” Maggie acquiesced, getting up from the couch and grabbing her keys. “I can promise you this is not a regular thing, so enjoy having me as your food slave while it lasts, Danvers."

 

“Oh, I will.” Alex mustered as wicked of a grin as she could while her head was still smarting.

 

“Take it easy, you hear?” Maggie said, giving her one last affectionate gaze before she slipped out the door.

 

Once she was gone, Alex dared to release the sigh she'd been holding in, basking in the lingering warmth of Maggie's presence, hugging a cushion into her chest. She could get used to this. Boy, could she ever. Concussion aside, this was exactly the kind of future she had hoped for when she came out to Maggie and kissed her at the bar. Living together. Making each other happy. Sharing this intimacy.

 

But, then again, was Alex becoming enamoured with a vision that would cease to exist once she rescued Maggie? Would Maggie still want to be with her once these fake memories faded away? Or was Alex right to hope that this meant they had a genuine chance at love?

 

She supposed it didn't really make a difference. Either way, Alex's primary goal was the same. She had to help Maggie escape this simulation. Any consequences that flowed from that were worth it, if it meant getting her back to the real world. Alex could deal with the aspect of her feelings for Maggie and whether or not they were mutual once they were on the outside, for better or worse.

 

“What do you mean she isn't she responding? Pull her out of there!” Kara's voice suddenly stirred at the fringes of Alex's consciousness. Alex bolted upright, shocked to hear the communicator in her headset activate again, wondering if she was just hallucinating.

 

“We're going to, Kara,” J'onn tried to calm her. “Mr. Schott has to make sure it's safe to disconnect.”

 

“Safe?” Kara echoed. Once again, Kara wasn't speaking into the mic, judging by the muffled volume of her speech. “It wasn't safe to send her in there in the first place! How can leaving her in there possibly be safer than pulling her out now?”

 

“No, Kara! Wait, wait, wait!” Alex insisted, hoping they could finally hear her after a week of trying in vain to re-establish contact. “I'm...I'm-I'm-I'm here. I'm fine. Everything is fine. We're all still good to go in here.”

 

“Alex?” Winn replied. “Whoa, what the hell happened? You gave us a real scare there.”

 

“I'm sorry. I don't know, I just...” Alex rested her hand against her forehead in quiet astonishment, having come to believe that she was stranded inside the network on her own. “I've been trying to talk to you but, for some reason, our communication broke down.”

 

“But you're alright?” asked J'onn. Nothing else was more important to him.

 

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed. She wasn't sure she wanted to mention the head injury. The thought of her being hurt would probably be all Kara and J'onn needed to decide to unplug her and cancel this whole operation. But so long as Maggie remained trapped, Alex was not prepared to quit.

 

“I don't like this,” Kara spoke up, her eminent worry reinforcing Alex's thoughts. “We should get her out.”

 

“No, don't. I mean it, Kara. I'm fine,” Alex assured her, refusing to be torn out when she'd only been able to make one poorly thought-out attempt at freeing Maggie. Alex sighed, massaging the spot where her forehead met the bridge of her nose in an effort to ward off her lingering pain and sharpen her wits. “Do you want to fill me in on what I've missed while I've been stuck in here?”

 

There was a strange pause from the other end. “What do you mean 'what you've missed'?” asked Winn.

 

Alex furrowed her brow, stilling her hand in front of her face. Why did that need explaining? “You know, have you tracked down any leads on the android? Have you found anymore victims? Did you send anyone else in after me?”

 

Once again, there was a silence. “Alex, you've only been out of contact with us for, like, a minute,” Winn pointed out, distinctly confused.

 

Upon that revelation, that was a feeling they both shared. “What?” said Alex, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach.

 

“Yeah,” Winn affirmed. “A minute ago, you were talking to Maggie and then you just...I'm not sure what happened. Things went haywire. You shot off to a completely different part of the network and we thought we'd lost you.”

 

“...Hold on, you said a minute,” Alex repeated, certain she hadn't misheard that, even though that didn't make so much as a lick of sense. “But...But...I've been in here for a week,” Alex explained, remembering every second of it. “Maybe even longer.”

 

“A week?” said Kara, audibly gobsmacked. “H...How?”

 

“I don't know. How is it possible that Maggie believes we lived through the remainder of the decade together?” Alex asked, shrugging as she got up from the couch, even though she knew they couldn't see her body language. “I mean, I can't say that this was just a memory implanted after the fact. I was there. I lived it. So I guess that means she must have lived that time the same way I did.”

 

The more she thought about that, the more viable the theory sounded. If an entire week could pass in the span of a minute, then that was more than enough time for Maggie to have lived three simulated years within four hours. Hell, that left more than a year to spare.

 

“Just tell us what happened from your perspective,” J'onn instructed, ever the voice of reason.

 

“Okay. Um...This is going to complicate things a little, but...I think what happened was caused by me trying to tell Maggie this isn't reality,” Alex explained, shifting the curtains to look out upon the digital code that made up the streets beneath her window.

 

“How do you mean?” J'onn prompted.

 

“Well, she couldn't accept it when I told her that these past three years of her life were an illusion, so she rationalised it by assuming I just didn't remember,” said Alex, gingerly pacing around the apartment in order to get herself used to walking again. “And, because thoughts affect reality here, I think Maggie essentially...unconsciously rewrote the past few days."

 

“She rewrote the past? As in you went back in time?” Kara sought to clarify. Alex could picture her puzzled expression perfectly.

 

"I'd answer that if I could, but it's not really clear," Alex said frankly, watching digital code trickle beneath her fingertips when she grazed what was supposed to be the kitchen counter. "All I know is the conversation you heard before I lost you never took place."

 

"Aww, you're not engaged to Maggie anymore?" Winn joked, feigning disappointment.

 

Alex stopped and glared at nothing in particular, not even remotely amused. "...If you ever bring that up again, I will hunt you down and kill you," she warned him coldly. She thought she heard Winn squirm in his chair. Good, because her situation with Maggie wasn't funny.

 

"Why would something like that happen?" asked J'onn, ignoring the banter and keeping their discussion on track.

 

"So that it didn't shatter the illusion, I guess," Alex supposed. "Maggie needed a logical reason why I seemed to have forgotten everything, and why I was saying a bunch of crazy things. Or maybe that was the android protecting its simulation. I don't know for sure. That's the best theory I've been able to come up with while I've been in here. It's hard when you're on painkillers. They work in here, by the way.”

 

"Painkillers?" Kara unexpectedly cut in, her tone vaguely ominous. "...Alex, what was the reason?"

 

"Huh?" Alex narrowed her gaze, lost.

 

"You said you think this happened so that Maggie had some kind of...alternative explanation for your behaviour that doesn't undermine the mind-cloud," Kara summarised, making sure she'd understood Alex correctly by rephrasing what she thought Alex had meant in her own words. "So, what specifically was rewritten about the past to justify you not remembering anything?"

 

Alex swallowed. God damn it. Kara really wasn't going to enjoy hearing this. “...That I got a head injury,” Alex reluctantly admitted, preemptively closing her eyes in dread, bracing herself. “I've been in hospital for the past week, and Maggie thinks I have amnesia.”

 

“You—WHAT?! In _hospital?!_ ” Kara all but spat, loud enough that it made Alex flinch and clutch at her head. “Oh, no, no, that is it. You are coming out of that program. I mean it this time; I am not leaving you in there.”

 

“It isn't real, Kara,” Alex calmly reminded her, touched by her concern, but it was misplaced. “My real body is lying right there in the DEO with you. Take a look at my vital signs and you'll see that no actual damage was inflicted, right? And I didn't lose nearly as much time as I thought I did. So let's see this out. I'm not ready to give up on finding something useful inside this network yet.”

 

“...I am so mad at you right now,” Kara muttered in disapproval, hating the thought of Alex being in danger like this.

 

Alex smiled. “Yeah, I know. I love you too,” she said sincerely.

 

“Hang on a second, Alex,” Winn interrupted them, interpreting the data on his screen. “Looks like you're about to have company.”

 

Suddenly, the door opened. Alex blinked, surprised to see Maggie coming back inside with shopping bags in hand. “Wow, that was quick,” Alex commented. That was an understatement; Maggie had probably only been gone long enough to head to her car and back.

 

Maggie glanced up at her as she placed her groceries on the counter. “Not really,” she said, looking at Alex with a mildly strange expression. Following that, Alex turned to cast her eyes over at the clock behind her, struck to see that an hour had passed.

 

“Oh. I, uh...” Alex trailed off, rubbing her head, not sure how to explain her mistake.

 

“Guess you must have slept through it,” Maggie supplied, saving her the trouble.

 

“Yeah! Yeah, that's...that's what I did.” Alex nodded her head, laughing to cover her bewilderment. This was impossible. She had definitely not jumped forward an hour, nor had she lived through that amount of time – she'd been talking to the others in the outside world, and that couldn't have happened if she was moving at a much faster rate than actual time.

 

Come to think of it, Alex supposed it made sense. This was a simulation, after all. People could apparently will their thoughts into existence. Why would the program have its subjects go through mundane tasks like grocery shopping when objects could appear in a flash?

 

It still left Alex a touch confused, though. Did Maggie have memories of going to the grocery store, even though she obviously hadn't? Or did the virus inside the nanomachines merely render her incapable of perceiving that she'd skipped over an hour of her life? Would she notice the gap if Alex pointed it out, or would the mind-cloud once again prevent Alex from contradicting its false reality?

 

“It's good to see you up and moving about, Alex. You should take it easy, though. I know that's not in your nature, but...well, I'd kick myself if I didn't at least _try_ to tell you that," Maggie said sincerely, though she knew Alex wouldn't listen. Obviously, she still felt a little guilty about leaving her alone that long. "There are a few more bags to come. I'll be back in a second."

 

“Do you need any help?” Alex asked, mostly on instinct.

 

Maggie snorted, perishing the thought. “Oh, no. I'll tolerate you walking around, but you are _not_ doing any lifting, Alex Danvers,” she declared in the kind of mixture of light-hearted teasing and complete seriousness that could only come from the familiarity of a long, loving relationship. “Not for a while, anyway. You just sit back and relax. I've got this. Then I'll get you something to eat, okay?”

 

“Okay. If you insist.” Alex raised her hands, agreeing to drop the subject. With that, Maggie left their apartment once more, closing the door behind her. “Sorry about that,” said Alex, returning her attention to Kara, Winn and J'onn, now that it was safe to speak to them.

 

“What's your next move?” asked J'onn. “Sounds like you can't do much until you recover.”

 

“No, I can't. But my last week did just pass in a minute,” Alex pointed out, starting to reassess her strategy as she gradually gathered more insight into how this mind-cloud operated. Seeing Maggie unconsciously skip an hour had given her an idea. “You know, I was planning on mind-jumping to different locations in National City to look for the android, but maybe I can also...think my way forward through time.”

 

“That is such a weird sentence,” Winn quietly commented, as if forgetting Alex could hear him even when he was talking under his breath. “For the record, you still don't even know that actually happened to you before. You might just have false memories of this past week.”

 

Alex shrugged. “Is there a difference in here?”

 

“...Good question,” Winn conceded, recognising the distinction wasn't that simple. In a world that was created by thought, thinking about something and experiencing something might be one and the same, or virtually indistinguishable from one another. “But what I mean is you may not actually move to the locations in the network you think you've moved to when it appears as though time has sped up for you.”

 

“Why wouldn't I be in those places? I'm data in the cloud right now. I'm theoretically capable of moving at close to the speed of light,” said Alex, failing to see the problem. Computers may not have been her field of expertise, but she still had a fairly solid understanding of the science behind how it all worked, unless she'd really gotten rusty over the years.

 

“Sure, but my computer isn't!” Winn retorted, yet again getting the sense that Alex was intent on ignoring him if he didn't tell her what she wanted to hear. “I can't track you at the speed of light. You won't be in any one location long enough for me to pin it down. So, even if you did find the android inside the neural network, I wouldn't be able to figure out where your signals are transmitting to or from.”

 

“Don't do anything rash, Alex,” Kara warned, concerned that this could backfire horribly if she wasn't careful.

 

Alex rolled her eyes. Why were they all making such a big deal about this? She had to figure out how the rules of this world worked one way or another. “Look, it's not like I'm going to be gone forever. I'll slow down again once I'm healed. And, if not, well...I'll figure something out so that you'll know where the android is when I find it. Then you can get me out. No harm done.”

 

“What did I just say?!” Kara responded, reiterating her point regarding rashness. But Alex didn't listen to her, closing her eyes and thinking of the future – of a time where she would be able to move around freely, with no head injury.

 

“No, Alex, wait—“ Winn's voice was cut off by another static jolt.

 

“Ow.” Alex rubbed her head, wincing at the electric shock. That one had actually hurt a bit.

 

She opened her eyes and looked around, a little surprised to see how much more tangible her apartment had become. Glitches still rippled across the surface, and she could see the digital outlines of everything but, for a moment, it had almost looked realistic.

 

Her brow twitched. It didn't seem as though she'd changed locations, or moved through time at all. She seemed to be exactly where she'd left off. Did that mean it hadn't worked? But, if nothing had changed, why couldn't she hear anything over her headset?

 

“Winn, are you there?” Alex asked, much as she had from her hospital bed. “Kara? J'onn?”

 

No response.

 

“...Huh.” Alex curled her fingers against her chin, pondering. Maybe she'd succeeded, except, rather than jumping forward in time, perhaps Alex was just moving at an incredibly fast rate, like she seemed to have done before. That would certainly explain a lot, although it didn't imply that she was incapable of the former. Perhaps she just hadn't figured out how to do that yet.

 

The doorknob turned, clicking as it opened again. Maggie nudged it open with her foot. "Alright, that's everything."

 

"Are you sure you didn't need my help with that?" Alex asked, failing to conceal her smirk, amused by the sight of Maggie wrestling with shopping bags that were collectively about as big as she was.

 

Maggie shrugged as best she could, kicking the door shut. "Got it up here, didn't I?"

 

"Come on, you're going to throw a shoulder out, at this rate," said Alex, moving to take about half the grocery bags from her whether Maggie liked her intervention or not. Concussion or no, Alex got them up onto the counter with no trouble.

 

Maggie good-naturedly rolled her eyes at Alex's concern before doing the same. "Thanks."

 

Alex grinned, starting to sort out the shopping. She had to admit, even if it was only temporary, she enjoyed the prospect of this...domesticity between her and Maggie. Now that Alex knew several days could pass in the span of a minute in the outside world, with seemingly no consequences, she felt a little more comfortable about being in there. After all, she wasn't going to be much use when it came to finding the android in the mind-cloud until her head stopped hurting. What was so bad about getting to spend time with Maggie while she recovered?

 

Nothing, that was what. As long as they kept their boundaries, this was all perfectly fine.

 

* * *

 

“Alex? Alex!” Winn spoke to her through the mic when his program bugged out on his screen, no longer able to read her data. There was no response. He sighed and threw up his hands in annoyance, realising she hadn't listened to him. Classic Alex. “We've lost her again.”

 

“This is bad,” said Kara, exhaling to expel her mounting anxiety, shaking her head. “We need to get her out of there before this goes too far.”

 

“Wait a second,” J'onn cut in. “Let's think about this.”

 

Kara looked at him in shock, stunned to hear him say that. Of all people, he was the last she would have expected to put Alex in peril. “What is there to think about? It's _Alex_ , J'onn!” she said, imploring him to recognise what a monumental gamble they were taking.

 

“I know,” J'onn replied, calmly holding Kara's gaze, giving her the opportunity to search his eyes for any hint of a lie, aware that she would find none. “That's why you know I wouldn't be suggesting this if I was worried; I would do _anything_ to protect Alex,” J'onn professed. Kara's cheek twitched beneath her eye, endeavouring to maintain her firm expression, but softening despite herself, because it was true. “Think about what happened before; the last time we lost contact with her, it was only for a minute, and everything was fine.”

 

“So?” said Kara, folding her arms across her chest. "You can survive Russian Roulette once. That doesn't mean it's safe."

 

“Perhaps this is just something that happens in the simulation from time to time,” J'onn suggested, thinking it warranted consideration. "There's no cause for alarm. After all, we don't actually have any evidence that this neural network is damaging its subjects.”

 

“He does have a point, Kara,” Winn chimed in, earning a sideways glance. “I mean, her vital signs haven't been affected at all since she went in. Why don't we just sit and wait for a minute like we did last time and see what happens? If we don't hear from her again after that, we'll pull her out. No harm done, okay?” he offered, encouraging Kara to be positive.

 

“We don't know that.” Kara shook her head. They were just assuming that was the case. “What if it's _not_ harmless?”

 

“Listen to me, Kara; if I'd pulled Alex out of the VR headset at the first sign of trouble when she went in to free you from the Black Mercy, you wouldn't be standing here today,” J'onn reminded her with a sage arch of his brow. “That was the day I learned I needed to trust Alex's instincts, not refuse to let her try because I'm afraid of what could go wrong. If anyone is capable of achieving anything she sets her mind to—“

 

“This isn't about doubting her,” Kara insisted. “Of course I believe in Alex. But that doesn't mean I'm okay with sitting on my hands and doing nothing to help her while she takes unnecessary risks with something we don't even understand!" she pointed out. "That's not unreasonable.”

 

“No, it's not. It's sensible. And, if we had any other options, I would agree with you. But, like it or not, Alex is still our best shot at finding that android,” J'onn matter-of-factly conceded, needing to acknowledge that there was far more at stake than just Alex. _Two thousand_ people had been infected with those nanomachines. They couldn't be forgotten. "Without her, I'm not sure we have any way of tracking this android down, or understanding its mind-cloud. So far, she hasn't even been in the program for ten minutes."

 

"From her perspective, it's been a week," Kara challenged, disturbed by the implications of that.

 

"Yes, and Alex had the opportunity to leave, but chose not to take it," J'onn countered. Kara noticed Winn biting his tongue, wisely avoiding getting involved in an argument between two superpowered aliens. "Besides, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think she'd ever forgive me if we gave up on her before she had a real shot at rescuing Detective Sawyer,” J'onn knowingly observed.

 

Kara's jaw stiffened, even as the rest of her body did the opposite. She wished she could argue with that, but she couldn't. If Kara pulled Alex out and they lost Maggie as a result, Alex might hate her for that forever, harbouring bitter, creeping, subconscious resentment.

 

She had never seen Alex talk about anyone the way she talked about Maggie before. She'd never heard such sheer devotion in her voice, nor ever glimpsed that glow of utter infatuation sparkling in her eyes. If Maggie couldn't be revived, Kara didn't know if Alex would ever allow herself to feel that way again, if she even could. Kara feared the grief might be enough to make her lock away her heart for good.

 

J'onn placed his hands on his hips and glanced down, a faintly resigned sort of expression on his face. “I may not know a lot, but...I know how it feels to have someone hold a special place in your heart," he said, raising his head once more. "I know it well enough that I can see it in a person's eyes when they look at another with whom they share that type of bond.”

 

Kara frowned, her shoulders sagging. “...Yeah, you do,” she acknowledged, because he was right; Alex was in love with Maggie. Kara was the only one she'd told, but evidently no longer the only one who knew. J'onn must have pieced it all together on his own.

 

J'onn's lips curled into a small but warm smile. “I didn't think it was a coincidence when she came out recently. Guess I was right,” he commented. Soon after, J'onn stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Kara's shoulder. “What do you say? Why don't we give Alex a chance to save the woman she loves?” he asked, because he would have traded anything to have that opportunity when he'd lost his family.

 

Kara turned, glancing over at Winn. He responded by giving her a hopeful look, urging her to trust Alex and let her stay. “...It doesn't really matter what I think, does it? I'm going to be outvoted anyway,” Kara mumbled as she gently shrugged off J'onn's touch, moving to an unoccupied chair, pulling it over to Alex's bedside and slumping down in it, her head in her hands.

 

Winn and J'onn exchanged looks, but left her alone, focusing on Alex's program. Given how long they had spent discussing the idea of disconnecting her from the mind-cloud, it was already approaching the time that they were expecting to hear from Alex once again.

 

For once, Kara didn't share in their optimism, her mood uncharacteristically grim. Her eyes burned as she sat there, watching over her sister. She wasn't sure what it was that kept her from crying. Stubbornness, perhaps? Kara knew it wasn't normally in her nature to be so negative or to sulk like this, but she couldn't remember feeling as powerless as she did in that moment. Not for a long time.

 

It wasn't that she didn't trust Alex. She did. It also wasn't that she didn't care about Alex rescuing Maggie and living happily ever after. Of course Kara wanted that. But, if Alex didn't make it out of this alright, Kara would have to live with that failure for the rest of her days.

 

If Kara had only been the tiniest bit quicker that morning, she would have reached the shopping mall and taken out the android before it infected Maggie with those nanomachines. For as brave and heroic as Alex was, there was no way she would have volunteered to go inside the network if it wasn't for Maggie. Alex had lied before; her actions were driven by love, not merit. Kara knew it.

 

Whatever Alex was going through inside that network, whatever she suffered, it was because of Kara's mistakes - because she had been too slow when she was needed most. She could have prevented this. She should have been fighting this battle, not Alex.

 

Instead, all Kara could do was sit there feeling like she wanted to throw up.

 

Moreover, she hadn't forgotten what it had been like for her when she was affected by the Black Mercy. It had shown Kara a near-perfect world, where she still had her home and her family. She'd wanted it to be real so badly that, for a time, she'd rejected Alex's efforts to break her free, clinging onto it even when she knew in the back of her mind that it was a lie. Having to give all of that up - having to live through Krypton, her parents, her positive relationship with her aunt, and her time with Kal being taken away from her all over again was one of the most horrible experiences Kara had ever endured. Honestly, she wasn't sure she'd ever felt anything worse.

 

She didn't know much about the mind-cloud, but Kara now knew that Alex was in a world where the woman she loved absolutely adored her - a world where Maggie had been happily committed to her for three years, to the point where they'd been ready to get married.

 

Kara couldn't help but be afraid that Alex might get to a stage where she didn't want to give that up. Or else, if she did, that it would hurt Alex just as much to lose that false reality as it had hurt Kara to be forced to relinquish the Black Mercy's illusions.

 

She didn't know what option was more painful to contemplate. All Kara knew was that the blame for either lay at her feet.

 


	3. Beta Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's plan to accelerate time inside the mind-cloud seems to have worked. The only problem is, she doesn't know how to slow it down again. Being stuck in virtual reality soon takes a toll on both Alex's psyche and her already complex relationship with Maggie.

 

**Saturday, April 11, 2020**

 

“I've got to hand it to you, Danvers; you heal fast. I'm impressed,” Maggie observed, strolling alongside Alex through poorly rendered, digital streets. Her recovery was progressing well. This was the furthest Alex had been able to walk since waking up, and she didn't appear to be overexerting herself yet, which was a good sign as to how quickly she could expect to be fully and independently mobile once more.

 

“And yet you're still forcing me to go to my doctors' appointments,” Alex remarked through a light-hearted groan, wishing she could skip over that totally unnecessary part of this simulation. This injury didn't even exist outside of the mind-cloud. Maggie may not have known it, but it wasn't like Alex had suffered any actual harm. Just simulated harm.

 

“You're damn right I am,” Maggie playfully responded, though she was entirely serious about not letting Alex avoid her check-ups or rehab. “Try to fight me on it; I dare you,” she joked, affectionately bumping Alex's arm with her elbow.

 

"I'd like to see you make that challenge when I'm not concussed," Alex countered, confident she would win.

 

"No, I'm making it now," Maggie wryly replied, fixing Alex with her trademark, lopsided smile.

 

“Pfft. Okay. Fine,” Alex reluctantly surrendered, recognising she didn't get a vote in the matter. Nevertheless, Alex secretly wondered whether she could manipulate this artificial reality into making her appointments pass in the blink of an eye, or will her doctors into believing they'd already seen her. She made a mental note to test it out next time. It was worth a shot, at any rate.

 

"Good, because you _are_ concussed. The sooner you accept that, the easier it'll be for you," Maggie wisely pointed out. "I know you're driven to push yourself to get better as fast as you can but, trust me, it's not worth the risk of making yourself worse. And, if you're not careful and something does go wrong, you're going to find yourself wishing you'd listened to me and stayed the course when you get a call from the DEO telling you they're benching you for six months when you could have been back in four."

 

"I already said fine! Jeez. Guilt-trip me a little harder, there, _Mom_ ," Alex retorted with a mock-huff and a theatrical eye-roll, feigning the demeanour of an offended teenager.

 

Maggie laughed. "Okay, okay. That's fair. I just...I know what you're like," she told her, leaving it at that.

 

"Do you?" Alex asked, sceptical.

 

"Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said that," Maggie acknowledged, glancing down at her feet and rubbing the back of her neck.

 

Alex's expression softened. It wasn't Maggie's fault, and it wasn't arrogance on her part to presume she knew her that well. She legitimately thought she'd been living with the real Alex for the past three years. But she hadn't. She was caught up in an elaborate lie, and God only knew why. If Maggie remembered any of this when she got out of the simulation, it would break her heart to learn the truth.

 

"You don't have to be sorry," Alex assured Maggie, and not because she was taking pity on her; she meant it. "...To be honest, I kind of like the way you fuss over me," Alex admitted, fidgeting with her fingers as she spoke, a hint of a twinkle in her eye.

 

Her remark succeeded in eliciting a smirk, as intended. "Oh yeah?"

 

"I said 'kind of'. Don't take it as a blanket encouragement," Alex warned in jest.

 

"Well, I'm not planning on stopping, but you let me know if I get carried away," Maggie offered.

 

"Oh, I'm gonna," Alex replied amid a mirthful glance, to which Maggie snorted.

 

Alex couldn't keep her lips from quirking fondly. Maggie never struck Alex as much of a nurturer in the short time they'd known each other in the real world, but that judgement must have been premature because she was remarkably supportive. Ever since leaving the hospital, Maggie had been there for her, subtly monitoring her condition, always tending to her through her headaches and dizzy spells.

 

It was weird, but it was nice; it showed how much she cared.

 

While she healed up inside Maggie's apartment, Alex was steadily acclimatising to the virtual world, idly studying the ways it worked. In her spare time (which was copious, thanks to the injury) she'd played around with her ability to influence reality by spontaneously thinking small objects into existence, though she hadn't mastered it yet, nor figured out what the limitations were.

 

Aside from never needing to get up from the couch when she wanted a drink, Alex had learned there were other fringe benefits to this neural network. She didn't have to go to the bathroom, ever. Nor did she have to deal with her period. That was convenient.

 

One minor problem was that she also hadn't yet figured out how to sleep. Not that Alex required it in this fake body, but her nerves were starting to fray from not having an opportunity to shut her brain off. Her only options were to either stay up all night or blink forward in time to the next morning, which was not something she knew how to do intentionally. It had happened twice by accident, though.

 

Luckily, Alex didn't plan on being in the simulation long enough to warrant developing that skill.

 

Curious as she was to make sense of it, Alex often sat and watched the casual way Maggie interacted with the mind-cloud. From her perspective, living in the simulation seemed as natural as breathing. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything clicked into place. It almost would have made Alex envious to witness how effortlessly she could subconsciously summon a cup of coffee into her hand in the mornings if it hadn't become painfully apparent by then that Maggie was completely oblivious to any such deviations from the norm.

 

For as much as Alex felt secure that neither of them were in any imminent danger, Maggie's complacency was quietly troubling to contemplate - a reminder that this neural network was far from innocuous, even if its sinister purpose remained unknown.

 

Winn's theory that the nanomachines were physically preventing any infected victims from recognising that they were in a simulation was becoming more and more credible with every passing day. Alex was certainly convinced. It was the only explanation for why someone as astute as Maggie never questioned her surroundings; something was deliberately tampering with her perception.

 

By contrast, Alex had gone into the cloud through Winn's program, virus-free. That meant she quite literally didn't experience the virtual world the same way everyone else did. Living there for as long as she had was all the evidence she'd needed to deduce that.

 

Apart from being free to detect glitches and faults that were beneath Maggie's notice without outside interference blocking those connections, any people, places and objects Alex encountered in the simulation were never rendered for her in nearly as much detail as she suspected the other victims saw. The tech hard-wired into their brains no doubt gave them the benefit (or detriment) of processing their environment and as clearly as if they were out living their own lives. Tangible. Three-dimensional. Photo-realistic. But not for Alex.

 

That said, the fake National City was gradually starting to take better shape within her interface too. Rather than seeing code everywhere, the world around her now tended to resemble dated graphics from an old video game, with the errors generally confined to the edges. Perhaps that was simply because Alex had spent enough time in these specific locations to breed familiarity.

 

Either way, it still wasn't convincing, but it was an improvement.

 

“I understand that we're really only supposed to be walking to get you some gentle exercise as part of your rehab but, uh...seeing as we're already out together, I was wondering if there might be other things you wanted to do,” Maggie broke the silence, seeming a little ill at ease with the quiet when it overstayed its welcome, as was often the case with her recently. Alex had picked up on that.

 

“Other things?” Alex echoed with a hint of mischief. “Is that a proposition, detective?”

 

“No. No, I just...” Maggie trailed off, not wishing to create the wrong impression about her motives, even if she knew Alex was only teasing. “You've been cooped up inside ever since you got out of hospital. Whenever we do go out, it's on account of your injury - to see one of your doctors, or something. I don't know, I thought you might like to have a little fun, for a change. Like we...”

 

"Used to?" Alex supplied, presuming that was where that sentence was headed before the abrupt halt.

 

"Poor choice of words," Maggie conceded, but unsure how else to phrase it.

 

Alex regarded her curiously. It was odd to see Maggie, of all people, getting flustered around her. Then again, it wasn't as though Alex didn't grasp the source of her awkwardness. Nobody had come up and handed Maggie a guidebook for how she was supposed to feel or behave around a girlfriend who had seemingly lost three years' worth of memories. It had to have been tough.

 

From Maggie's point of view, she had gone from preparing to propose to the woman she loved to having their entire relationship apparently washed away by Alex's amnesia almost overnight. That was a tragic, life-altering event. Maggie would have denied it, but she practically deserved a damn medal for the grace with which she'd weathered this adversity. Honestly, Alex couldn't fault her; she hadn't put a foot wrong.

 

Okay, sure, maybe she was clingier than Alex would have preferred, but who could blame her?

 

“Is there anywhere in particular you wanted to go?” Maggie asked, keen to spend meaningful time together again.

 

"Ehh..." Alex scratched her head, a tad apprehensively. The answer to that question was a resounding 'sort of', although Alex couldn't tell her that. The truth was, she was privately starting to ponder whether or not she was ready to resume her mission.

 

No, she wasn't totally healed, but Alex was confined to this simulation for the duration of her concussion regardless. Plus, it probably wasn't going to be too long before time slowed down to move at the same rate as the outside world once more, which would allow the others to get back in touch with her via her headset. It made sense to try and do something constructive while she was still sped up.

 

Alex knew she had to look for a method to forge a direct connection to the android in order to reveal its hiding place out in the real world. That, or she had to uncover exploitable weaknesses in the neural network which would enable her to disrupt it from within. Either alternative would be exactly what she needed to accomplish her goal of rescuing Maggie and the other victims.

 

However, those strategies which sounded great on paper were not so easy to put into practice. Frankly, Alex didn't have the foggiest idea where to commence her search beyond wandering around aimlessly and hoping she stumbled upon something, which wasn't without merit, she supposed. Even if it turned out that she couldn't find the android without outside help, sitting around her apartment doing nothing was indisputably a waste of time she should have spent exploring the network and gathering intel.

 

If nothing else, Alex thought she owed it to the others to discover something useful to tell them before she slowed down again. Unfortunately, Alex was in no position to do that while Maggie was attached to her at the hip, worrying about her recovery.

 

“You don't have to come with me, if this is boring for you,” Alex told her, giving Maggie an out.

 

“No, that's not...I _want_ to be here,” Maggie firmly replied. That was never in doubt. After nearly losing Alex for good, it was only natural that she was eager to savour every moment she had with her, even if they weren't together in the way she remembered.

 

“Are you sure?” Alex arched an eyebrow, dropping a not especially subtle hint. After all, liberating Maggie from the mind-cloud was the whole reason she was there. That couldn't happen if she refused to let Alex out of her sight. Much as she liked Maggie's company, she would have preferred it in the real world. “I promise I'm not going to fall over and crack my skull on the pavement if I walk by myself.”

 

Maggie winced with discomfort. “Yeah, I'd rather you didn't joke about that yet.”

 

“Sorry,” Alex apologised, regretting her flippancy. It was easy to forget that, unlike her, Maggie had no idea this was a simulation. Instead, she had vivid memories of cradling Alex in her arms and fearing she might die before her very eyes. That was no laughing matter.

 

“Do you want me to go?” Maggie asked, sensing the implication. She wasn't oblivious; she was perfectly aware that they had been sharing a confined space ever since Alex left hospital. Their only significant periods of separation were at night, when Maggie slept. The concern that she might have been crowding Alex or inadvertently smothering her seemed to have already crossed her mind many times.

 

“No,” Alex instinctively responded. She genuinely enjoyed being with her. And why wouldn't she? This was the exact same Maggie who had captivated her heart - the mesmerising woman whose very presence she felt drawn to, because even thinking about her made her eyes light up. Alas, that whole 'artificial reality' issue got in the way. “Of course I don't want that, but I...I also don't want you feeling like you have to protect me, or treating me like I'm fragile,” Alex acknowledged. “That's just going to make us both edgy and insecure.”

 

Maggie cracked a smile. “Okay, you may have a point,” she conceded, willing to admit that she was hovering over Alex too much. “I hear what you're saying; I'll back off a little,” she said, raising her hands as if to demonstrate that she was capable of letting her go.

 

Alex let herself smirk. “Not too far, though, right?” she dared to comment. She didn't do it that often, but she found it strangely easy to flirt with her inside the simulation, probably because she knew that Maggie already saw her as a girlfriend in this world.

 

Maggie returned her smirk, though hers was considerably wryer. “I couldn't do that if I tried,” Maggie promised her, stepping forward and casually letting her hands slip into Alex's pockets, as if she'd done it a thousand times before. She probably had. It was a simple gesture, but it set Alex's heart on fire. “For the record, I know that you're not fragile," she remarked, dark eyes glinting up at hers through the negligible distance between them. "But I'll always be here for you however you need me. You know that, right?”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Alex said, gently combing her fingers through Maggie's hair, basking in the warmth that radiated from her loose embrace. She'd never felt so safe with anybody. Even in this fake reality, Maggie was like her own slice of home - her shelter behind enemy lines.

 

What's more, Alex couldn't ignore the way her spirit soared every time Maggie looked at her over these past few days. Especially now, like this. The woman she loved was standing there before her, gazing at her as though Alex was the centre of her universe. Because, in this world, she was. And that was an astonishing thing to experience after lying curled up on her couch, bawling on Kara's shoulder, devastated that Maggie not only didn't return her feelings, but didn't even see her as an option. Here, that pain was a distant memory.

 

For whatever reason, the girl she liked liked her back, enough so that Maggie had imagined this relationship with Alex into existence. Alex still wasn't over that, judging by the way her heart did a joyful little skip every time that thought entered her mind. She wasn't sure she'd ever really get used to the concept of Maggie being interested in her in that way. But, right now, she was. Without question.

 

Compelled to be bold, Alex allowed herself to be swept away by the delightful wave that swelled within her chest, seizing the moment. She tilted her head forward and stole a kiss, devoid of any fear of rejection. Maggie hesitated at first, surprised by the unexpected act, but she reciprocated, unconsciously drawing Alex's waist a little closer to hers as she did so, much to her elation.

 

They hadn't done anything like this since Maggie brought Alex home from hospital. They hadn't discussed what they were to each other, or how to approach it, leaving the issue untouched. Maggie had kept her word as far as not placing any expectations or pressure upon Alex, maintaining a respectful distance from her despite living in such cramped quarters, focusing solely on helping her get better and supporting her through her recovery. But the want was still there. They both felt it, every single day. The spark. They couldn't deny it.

 

Alex curled her fingers around the back of Maggie's neck, never wanting this to end. But it did. A soft sound of disappointment burgeoned in her throat when Maggie abruptly broke the contact before Alex could deepen the kiss any further.

 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Maggie asked cautiously, examining her features for signs of doubt and uncertainty. Probably finding several, if Alex's eyes betrayed the way she felt; she'd never longed for something so much, and yet been so conflicted. She couldn't pretend she hadn't been anticipating that question, though. They'd both been dancing around this conversation for far too long.

 

“I...I don't know,” Alex admitted honestly. A word like 'okay' didn't seem to have a place in such uniquely complicated and confusing circumstances. That was also why Alex wasn't shocked that Maggie was unwilling to initiate anything with her without talking about it first. That was smart, and responsible. Typical Maggie, basically. “I've thought about this a lot, and it hasn't made anything clearer, because I still have more questions than I do answers. All I know is that I'm in this situation that I have to deal with, because I'm living with someone I find...”

 

“Tempting?” Maggie finished on her behalf, making it no secret that she shared her desires.

 

“Very,” Alex somewhat shyly confirmed, threading her hands through the gaps between Maggie's arms and her chest.

 

"Well, that's one reason why I don't want to rush you into anything. I mean, speaking for myself, I know I've done a lot of things in my life because I gave in to temptation. It sounds great at the time, but then you come to your senses and realise you're an idiot because you just blew a hundred dollars trying to beat someone in a game of pool," Maggie pointed out.

 

"It was more than a hundred," Alex teased.

 

"Oh, great, _that's_ the part you remember," Maggie remarked, feigning annoyance. Alex chuckled. "No but seriously, though, I don't want there to be any regrets. If it means anything, you have my blessing to take some time and figure out what you really want."

 

"You?" Alex quietly cut her off. Maggie gave her an amused look. Alex shrugged. "I do." Wanting to be with Maggie wasn't the question. It had never been. Her dilemma was tied to the simulation, which, unfortunately, meant she couldn't explain it.

 

"Then I'm sure you still will in the future," Maggie replied, brushing some of her hair back, obviously hoping that would be the case. Alex didn't doubt that she was correct about that, but it wasn't her feelings fading away that she was worried about. Maggie's were a different story. "At least if we wait, we'll both know we're together because of something real, not something...ephemeral."

 

Alex sighed and glanced at her feet, realising that was sage advice. She couldn't even begin to describe the effect it had on her to be in such close proximity to the woman she loved. Not even in a purely physical sense, but with regard to the glances they shared, and the little intimacies of domestic life. Sometimes, it was hard not to feel as though they were already together. But, then, from Maggie's perspective, she believed they _had_ been a couple for the last three years. Hence the problem.

 

The fact of the matter was that Alex knew she wasn't thinking clearly. Neither was Maggie. That was why this couldn't happen. Not there. Not yet. Whatever was between them, they would have to wait. Until they got back to the real world, this was off-limits.

 

“Look, I know that maybe this isn't the right thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's not. Definitely not at this moment in time," Alex conceded, difficult though it was to deny what she craved most, especially when Maggie was there in her grasp, so stunning, and kind, and...irresistible. "But I hope we figure out how to get here someday, because I _really_ like the way this feels," Alex told her, seeing no sense in lying, and hoping beyond hope that this wouldn't all slip through her fingers when the simulation went away.

 

Maggie swallowed and subconsciously moistened her lips, visibly just as conflicted. “Yeah, me too.”

 

They locked eyes, both palpably conscious of the tension that had been building between them. Any words swiftly fell from Alex's mind. Wrong or not, she couldn't help but picture taking that next step, imagining how incredible it would feel to cast aside her inhibitions and surrender to her yearning, regardless of the consequences. Her body was on edge with how much she wanted this. And Alex was sure it showed, because Maggie's pupils began to dilate as they stared into hers, as if she was contemplating the very same thing.

 

Suddenly, there was a flash, and they weren't in the street anymore. In fact, Alex didn't care where they were, because she was too busy frantically popping open the buttons on Maggie's shirt as they stumbled back towards a bed. The two of them were entangled in a kiss with far greater ferocity than ever before, gasping for breath in the brief instants when their lips parted, then colliding again. Some small part of Alex's mind was vaguely able to process that they were in their apartment. Specifically, in Maggie's bedroom.

 

It wasn't long before Alex's knees hit the mattress behind her. Maggie pushed her down onto it without hesitation, practically falling on top of her in her haste, though she caught herself when they landed. Maggie paused then, hovering above her on the bed, slowing down the pace to drink in the sight of Alex framed against the sheets beneath her, as if etching it into her memories.

 

In that moment of respite, Alex was conscious of so much at once. The weight of Maggie's body on top of hers. The heat of slender hips against her thighs, pinning her in place. But Alex's attention was commandeered by one thing alone: Maggie's stare. She was powerless to do anything but gaze up into those wild eyes, transfixed by the way they smouldered and burned with desire. Nobody had ever looked at her that way before, with such intensity and such passion, but also such uncompromising tenderness. It made her tremble.

 

Perhaps that was why that was as far as they got before Alex was suddenly stirred from her haze like a bucket of ice rousing a sleeper from a dream, hit by the realisation of exactly what they were doing and all the myriad levels on which it was completely and utterly inappropriate.

 

“Wait, stop, stop, stop,” Alex urged, putting her hands between them when Maggie descended for another kiss.

 

“Too fast?” Maggie asked, immediately sitting back on her knees, giving Alex space to scamper out from under her. Alex managed to nod, struggling to catch her breath. Maggie sighed apologetically, averting her gaze. “I knew it. As far as you're concerned, we've never...” She trailed off, shaking her head in admonishment for her terrible judgement. “I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry.”

 

“No, no. You...You didn't do anything wrong,” Alex assured her, panting as she spoke.

 

'I did,' Alex added internally. Because it wasn't Maggie's thoughts that had transported them to their bedroom like that. At least, not hers alone. _Alex_ had done that. Those were her desires creeping through. She knew it for a fact, because her want had been at the forefront of her mind before they jumped. And that was a problem, because this was ridiculously unethical.

 

Yes, this was a simulation, but that was really Maggie there by her side. If they slept together, that...that wasn't fake, because neither of them were artificial constructs. They would have actually done that with each other, here, in this mind-cloud. That was a huge step, and Alex was not particularly keen to throw it away inside a glorified computer program. Not to mention that she had no end of qualms about doing that with Maggie under false pretences, knowing she was attached to a version of Alex that...well, hadn't really been Alex.

 

That was also why Alex didn't blame Maggie for her part in this. She hid it well, but she was grieving. The woman she loved had essentially died, and now she was sharing her life with a stranger who wore the same face but remembered next to nothing. Was it any wonder Maggie felt compelled to try and reclaim some shadow of what she had before? To recapture a fragment of her past?

 

It was upon that consideration that something finally sank in for Alex that she hadn't given that much thought to up until then – sex. Maggie _had_ slept with her before. Or she believed she had. Over three years? Probably a hell of a lot. That was the reason Maggie craved this intimacy. Not because she was like Alex and had never experienced it with her, but precisely because it was so familiar.

 

That concept made Alex flush with embarrassment, hastily straightening out her tousled clothes as she bolted up to her feet, her skin and...certain other parts of her anatomy still buzzing from how close they had just been to... _that_.

 

“I should—I should—I should...go back to my own...” Alex awkwardly stammered, nervously gesturing back towards the door to the living room, where she had been sleeping on an IKEA bed. Despite objections, Alex had volunteered to let Maggie stay in the bedroom, mainly because being out there with the open space, the kitchen and the TV made it much easier to keep busy when she couldn't sleep.

 

“Yeah, that's fine,” said Maggie, as if Alex didn't need to explain anything to her. She completely understood. Well, except for the parts that Maggie so thoroughly didn't. “That walk was probably enough exertion for one day. You should rest your head.”

 

“That's...Yep, that's definitely...” Alex uncomfortably cleared her throat, forgetting what she intended to say. She wished Maggie would have buttoned her shirt already, but at the same time she really didn't want her to do that at all. Ever. Her abs were _incredibly_ distracting. Alex silently kicked herself for thinking that. “Okay. I'm...Okay.” With that, she swiftly turned and exited the bedroom, fleeing temptation.

 

Once she was safely hidden from view, Alex released a shaky sigh, complicated, convoluted feelings churning away in her chest. She let her head fall back against the door, thousands of chastisements internally circling in her mind. She had done a bad thing. She knew it was a bad thing. But being so close to Maggie made it virtually impossible to distinguish between which of the looks and smiles and touches Maggie gave her were meant for her, and which were meant for the fake Alex. Her heart always hoped for the former.

 

Alex ran a hand through her hair as she moved to sit down on her bed. It was still daylight outside. That was a pretty solid indicator that, if any time had passed when they blinked back to the apartment, it wasn't much. But now Alex's head actually did hurt, to the extent that she knew she was in no condition to go looking for the android like she'd planned, especially not on her own.

 

Great. So that ordeal had wasted what was left of this day. Alex rolled her eyes at herself for letting that happen.

 

J'onn was right, Alex thought, recalling their prior conversations; she had to remember her priorities. Next time she went off in search of the source of the neural network, she would have to do it alone. Maggie was too much of a distraction. Alex had to focus on her reasons for being there. This wasn't a vacation, or some harmless game. This was a rescue. Saving Maggie and the rest of the innocent people infected by the nanomachines was ten thousand times more important than playing house with her in this simulation.

 

Even if Alex profoundly understood the appeal of the latter...

 

Perhaps it was time to try and get back in contact with the outside world, concussion or no concussion. With the others guiding her through this mind-cloud, Alex could definitely get back on track, determined to free everybody who was trapped in this gilded cage.

 

* * *

 

**Sunday, April 12, 2020**

 

“Okay.” Alex drew a deep breath, staring intently at the space ahead of her. “Slow down,” she commanded, holding out a hand, consciously willing this virtual reality to progress at the same pace as the outside world. Her head injury wasn't entirely better yet, but she had improved significantly, enough so that she thought she was fit to re-establish contact with Winn, J'onn and Kara.

 

However, that was proving to be easier said than done.

 

“Slow down,” Alex repeated her order, to no avail. Nothing changed. No sound came in her ear. Alex frowned, unsure why it wasn't working. She'd been able to accelerate time almost without trying. How come doing the inverse was proving to be such a challenge? “Slow down!”

 

This wasn't her first attempt, either. She'd spent the whole night making countless efforts to bring herself back into sync with the outside world. Alex had tried different phrases. She'd retraced what she did to trigger this in the first place, only backwards. She'd tried meditating and picturing the faces and voices of those she longed to hear from again in her mind's eye. She'd tried focusing on the present moment and freezing it altogether. Hours later, and she'd come no closer to unlocking the solution to this puzzle. It was now dawn.

 

Frankly, Alex was starting to run out of ideas, as well as patience.

 

“God damn it, why won't you just slow down?!” she persisted, more forcefully that time. “It can't be that hard!”

 

“Who are you talking to?” asked Maggie, leaning in the doorway to her bedroom, roused from her sleep bright and early. Alex jumped in alarm, instantly whirling around to face her. Her eyes shifted back and forth, searching for a quick excuse.

 

“...Me. Myself,” Alex answered instinctively.

 

“Uh huh,” said Maggie, amused by her oddness.

 

“Yes. Of course.” Alex exhaled, allowing herself a moment to collect her wherewithal. Come to think of it, 'slow down' actually wasn't bad advice for herself to take in an altogether different context. Specifically, their murky, undefined relationship. She'd been meaning to have this conversation with Maggie ever since yesterday anyway, even if she hadn't intended to start her morning with it.

 

"Something on your mind?" Maggie probed, which made Alex glance up in mild puzzlement. "I don't know if you know this, but you have an 'I need to talk to you about something' face," Maggie pointed out, illustrating that by gesturing at her own features. "It's cute."

 

“Oh, uh...Well, you're right; I do have something to say," Alex confirmed, strange though it was to have Maggie make inferences like that based on the copy she'd unwittingly been living with before. Alex brushed that aside, however. "I, um...I think things have maybe been...moving a little fast between us,” she admitted, awkwardly toying with her fingers as she broached the uncomfortable issue.

 

Maggie averted her gaze for a second, as if she'd anticipated this. “Yeah, I do too.”

 

“Oh? Good,” Alex replied, pleasantly surprised. That made this a lot easier. If Maggie already understood where she was coming from, she wouldn't be likely to get upset or offended. They could be mature adults about this. Which they both were, technically. “So, then, why don't we have a...cooling-off period, or something? You know, a time where we just agree to...stay friends,” she suggested. That would certainly make Alex a hell of a lot more comfortable, and stop her feeling like she was inadvertently exploiting Maggie's mental state.

 

“If that's what you want, then okay,” Maggie consented with a small, casual shrug, moving from the door frame and heading towards the kitchen to make coffee and fix herself breakfast, as per routine. No living soul had ever looked so profoundly...unbothered.

 

“You're really alright with that?” Alex asked tentatively, certain this couldn't have been that easy for her. A few weeks ago, Maggie thought she was one question away from spending the rest of her life with Alex. How was she supposed to magically undo all that and pretend she was content to look at the woman she loved - the woman she had nearly made her fiancée - as nothing more than a friend?

 

“Alex, I know you don't remember anything between us,” said Maggie, nonchalantly shaking her head. “Much as I would like to hope that you will someday, you may never recover those memories. I have to be prepared for the future, whatever that entails.”

 

“Whatever that entails?” Alex echoed with a slight squint, not sure what that was supposed to mean. Did Maggie not know if she would want to be with her if she didn't 'regain' those memories? Was Alex already proving to be a cheap substitute for her...cheap substitute?

 

“I wasn't expecting you to jump into a relationship that you don't recall,” Maggie continued in a manner that implied she hadn't heard Alex speak. “Our history together was built on decisions that, as far as you're concerned, you never made. That's why I'm not going to push you into feeling like you're obliged to be with me; you're not. And, if you happen to want your life to go in another direction this time, I'll respect that too.” Her back was turned when she said those words, such that Alex couldn't read her face.

 

“That's not what I'm saying,” Alex insisted. There was nobody else she would rather be with.

 

“I know. But if you did,” Maggie offhandedly clarified as she rummaged around inside a cupboard for a mug. Evidently, she was steeling herself for that possibility, braced for a hurt that may never come. “Do you want anything while I'm here?”

 

“N-No, I'm...I'm good,” said Alex, caught by the abrupt change in subject, still a little perplexed by how well Maggie seemed to be taking everything. Then again, she'd always been a hard nut to crack. Alex couldn't help but wonder whether she really was just that easy-going, or whether she was simply avoiding dealing with her emotions head-on as a means of covering up her vulnerabilities.

 

Perhaps it wasn't fair for Alex to try and psycho-analyse Maggie, given she'd only known her for a relatively short time in the grand scheme of things, but how else was she supposed to figure her out, short of being a presumptuous ass and confronting her directly?

 

Come to think of it, Alex could have used that coffee after all. A caffeine boost might have sharpened up her wits, which would have made untangling these many, complex webs she was navigating a slightly less daunting task. Just as that wish crossed her mind, the next thing Alex knew, there was a hot mug in her hands and she was sitting opposite Maggie at the breakfast table.

 

She arched her eyebrow, impressed with how quickly that had worked. That ability really was incredibly convenient, Alex noted, savouring a sip. She was going to miss that when she got out of the simulation. It even replicated her coffee exactly the way she liked it.

 

“I, uh...I thought you should know, I'm going back to work this week, starting tomorrow,” Maggie informed her, her fork scraping the plate as she scooped up the last remnants of egg from her meal, a hint of apology underlying her otherwise frank statement.

 

Alex couldn't conceal the frown that fell across her face, her levity fading. “Oh.”

 

“You're okay with that, right?” Maggie asked, sensing otherwise. It wasn't as though Alex had done anything to disguise her disappointment. “I mean, I can...I can talk to my boss and try to squeeze some more time out of him if you feel you need me here a bit longer.”

 

“No, no, don't worry about it,” Alex assured her, waving her hand to dismiss the thought. “Like you said, I'm a lot better.”

 

“But if you're not, you'll call me straight away,” said Maggie, drinking what was left of her own coffee and leaning back in her chair. It was more of a statement than it was a question, making it clear that she still put Alex's health and well-being first, even if other commitments prevented her from staying with her full-time. “Seriously, if you need me to come home for any reason, I always will.”

 

Alex's lips quirked into a sad smile. She hoped that was true. Little did Maggie realise that getting her to return to her real home outside of the virtual world hadn't proved especially easy so far. But, with any luck, the future would yield better results.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Alex replied, sitting forward, her thumbs tracing the rim of her mug where it sat upon the table.

 

The more she thought about it, the more Alex supposed she should have expected this news. Even though this was a fake world, Maggie did remember being a dedicated detective. That was a huge part of her life. Of course she would have the same job in here. Accordingly, that meant Maggie had been off of work for three weeks to take care of her, which Alex's condition no longer required. As part of making the simulation convincing, she had to have known in the back of her mind that she could only be granted so much leave.

 

Nevertheless, Alex was going to miss her constant company. Yes, Maggie would be there, but not as often. Over these past several days, she'd grown used to them spending virtually every waking moment together, whether there in the apartment, or going to her rehab sessions and check-ups, or having Maggie escort Alex out into the world as she regained the capacity to safely carry out day-to-day activities without feeling dizzy, fatigued or suffering from headaches. Weekends aside, that wouldn't be the case anymore.

 

She supposed she couldn't be too upset, though. Alex had wanted the freedom to go looking for the android without Maggie noticing her absence. This would certainly give her that. Except that knowledge didn't make that subtle ache hurt any less.

 

Until she heard from the others, Alex guessed she would just have to get used to being in this simulation on her own.

 

* * *

 

**Friday, April 24, 2020**

 

Three, two, one. Blink.

 

Alex opened her eyes. She was in a park. Sketchy outlines fizzed with digital data, forming into blocky images before her.

 

She glanced around, scanning the area. Nothing struck her as out of the ordinary. There were no malicious entities waiting for her. Just passers-by, in the form of code, enjoying their leisure. Some of those disassembled shapes represented real people, unwittingly trapped inside the mind-cloud. Others were only hollow projections built from information contained in someone else's memories.

 

With little else to do, Alex elected to investigate further. She patrolled the pathways for a while, wandering through the trees, avoiding joggers and cyclists, remaining alert for any signs of the android, or for vulnerabilities in the network. Nothing turned up. Then again, Alex wasn't sure what either of those things might have looked like if she did stumble upon them.

 

It must have been half an hour before she conceded her search was fruitless, not that she really bothered keeping track of the clock. Any longer and she'd just be going around in circles. Accordingly, Alex blocked out all distractions and imagined herself somewhere else.

 

Three, two, one. Blink.

 

Nothing at the airport. Just as there hadn't been last time she checked. Or the two times before that.

 

Three, two, one. Blink.

 

An office building. Nothing.

 

Three, two, one. Blink.

 

National City Stadium. Yet again, she'd already been there. Frankly, Alex was fresh out of ideas for notable places she hadn't visited. If there were any significant tourist spots she'd failed to scour for the android, they were certainly not ones she was aware of.

 

Frustration escaped her in the form of a quiet groan. This was getting her nowhere. It felt like a Sisyphean effort every time she tried. But what alternative was there? It wasn't like she would accomplish anything by sitting around in her apartment, waiting for Maggie to get home. She had a purpose. A goal. It was her duty to pursue it, even if it appeared insurmountable. She closed her eyes, not giving up yet.

 

Three, two, one. Blink.

 

The next thing Alex knew, she was in a busy street. She winced and clutched at her head, momentarily thrown by the jolt. She was a hell of a lot better at this teleportation thing than she had been in the beginning, but doing it too much still seemed to set off her concussion.

 

Once she regathered her bearings and shook off the pain, Alex slid her hands into her pockets, peering at her surroundings before heading on down the sidewalk, meandering past half-formed faces and low-resolution textures in no particular direction. Even if this destination contributed as little to her quest as the others, at least the walk would help her pass the time. Alex had plenty of that up her sleeve.

 

What had it been now? A month inside the mind-cloud? It was hard to say; it was all starting to blend together.

 

Unbeknownst to Maggie, Alex had gone out exactly like this every single day while she was at work, but with no success in finding the android, and that wasn't for lack of dedication. Ever since she felt she possessed the physical capacity to do so, Alex's first priority had been roaming the map, looking for ways out of this world. In that pursuit, she'd jumped to more locations than she could count, venturing high and low across the vast, life-size simulation of National City. However, if anything was odd in any of those places, she hadn't been able to detect it.

 

That was the problem. Without Winn to interpret the data she picked up from piloting his program through the neural network, Alex had no definitive way of identifying whether the android was present. Hell, even if she was standing on top of it, she might not have known.

 

After entering the mind-cloud, Alex had assumed the android might have taken on a recognisable form inside the simulation, much like its victims, but that wasn't guaranteed. It could have been moving through the network purely as code, invisible to her. For all she knew, the direct link to the android she had been in search of this whole time could have been represented by a freaking lamp, or something just as easily overlooked. At least Winn would have had a better shot at noticing something abnormal, if he was in her ear.

 

In hindsight, Alex realised she probably should have considered those things before accelerating time.

 

Alex came to a stop and glanced up, her attention briefly captured by a towering skyscraper. Her lip twitched. Was that the Catco building? It looked like it. On a whim, Alex let her eyes flutter shut and imagined herself up on the top, away from the artificial crowds. And, a moment later, there she was on the roof, far above the bustling noise of fake cars and fake pedestrians on the city streets beneath her.

 

She allowed herself a few seconds to breathe in the peace and serenity of her solitude. Except that isolation was something Alex had far too much of lately. When Maggie was gone, all Alex had was time alone. Seeking it out on purpose was hardly a comfort, or a remedy.

 

Hopefully that problem wasn't too far away from being rectified.

 

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Alex said with a finger raised to her ear, taking advantage of her privacy to listen hard for any semblance of noise coming over her headset. By that point, she mostly did it out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine expectation. Nonetheless, part of her still hoped this would be the time she got a response. “Kara? Winn? J'onn? Do you copy? Anybody?”

 

Nope, still nothing. It figured.

 

The lack of contact from the outside world didn't worry her, though. It had only been three weeks since the last time they spoke, give or take. That was longer than expected, but Alex knew she had no reason to be concerned. She would slow down soon enough.

 

Alex sighed, stepping out towards the edge, sitting down with her arms folded atop her knees, staring out over the expansive city below. There were still a few more hours to kill until Maggie got back, and she was tired of walking. Why not stop and ponder for a while?

 

She had no shortage of things to reflect on, even if it often seemed like she was cycling through them over and over on a loop. One aspect Alex found particularly peculiar was how this simulation could replicate some things so accurately and not others. For instance, it genuinely felt like she was up as high as her senses told her she was, right down to the cool breeze on her cheeks, ruffling through her hair.

 

It was uncanny how realistic the sensation of air ghosting across her skin in the wind was, imitating even the most precise details, like the scents of the city. If she closed her eyes and suspended her disbelief, Alex could almost have mistaken this for the real world. That is, were it not for the glaring sight of the digital skyline intruding upon her vision, its constant glitching clumsily ruining the illusion.

 

How appropriate, Alex thought; that juxtaposition summed up this virtual reality perfectly.

 

The truth was, she was beginning to get homesick. Alex hadn't planned on being in the simulation this long; she'd gone there specifically for the purpose of getting Maggie and all the other victims out. When she entered the network, she never expected she'd have to blend in or live another life for nearly a month. She was only ever meant to be a visitor. It was supposed to be over by now.

 

It wasn't that she'd had entirely terrible experiences or anything, either. Being a tourist had been kind of fun, at first. She'd spent a few days going to digital recreations of landmarks, gradually playing around with her ability to teleport, in the hopes of mastering it. Who wouldn't find it entertaining to visit full-scale replicas of any museum, theatre, gallery or popular restaurant in the city, free of charge?

 

But the novelty of the mind-cloud had soon worn off. Instead of providing amusement, being in those locations now made Alex shudder. She found them bizarre and off-putting, because it was brutally obvious that this wasn't reality. It was all she could focus on.

 

Alex couldn't accept the illusion and temporarily forget that everything around her was fake, not even for kicks. How could she? For other people, this world was indistinguishable from their actual lives. For Alex, it was like a freaking video game. Two-dimensional. Flat. Shallow. Filled with constructs that looked like people but were devoid of anything resembling sentience.

 

This was a lie and, worse yet, it was one that served no known functional purpose. If Alex could identify why the android had brought its victims here and what it wanted with them, that would have been something. Alas, she'd had no luck there. No luck anywhere, frankly.

 

Alex rubbed her forehead in mild irritation before leaning back on her hands, conscious that she was on her own when it came to those thoughts. Even though hundreds of other people inside this simulation were unambiguously real, none of them retained the same level of independence and individuality that Alex did. Because of the nanomachines altering their neural pathways, they were essentially puppets; Alex was the only person who possessed the capacity to perceive the mind-cloud for what it was.

 

Much as she had no urge to hand over control of her brain to the virus, it wasn't fun. Remaining uninfected meant she couldn't share her burdens or bad days with anyone else - not even with Maggie, who was as clueless to her own enslavement as all the others.

 

But that was fine. Alex could put up with the tedium and isolation of being the lone, non-brainwashed soul in this space. None of that mattered. The important thing was that Alex found a way to get Maggie out. Any length of time in this simulation was worth that. Any cost.

 

On that front, given that she'd had no luck in finding the android, Alex suspected that rescuing Maggie and the other victims was a task that required outside intervention, meaning there was little she could actually achieve until her comms came back online. Thankfully, it couldn't be much longer before that happened. At this stage, it felt as though she was due to slow back down at any moment.

 

Except that was what Alex had said the day before that. And the day before that.

 

“Is anyone there?” Alex asked again, even though it had scarcely been a minute since her last attempt. The wind whistled in her ears as it blew across the roof of the building, caressing her with the giddy sensation of being at altitude. Otherwise, silence. “...Nope? Okay.”

 

Alex grimaced when another burst of pain shot through her head. It wasn't new. Whenever she teleported around town, it eventually caught up with her. She wasn't sure if these headaches were related to her head injury or whether they were a cumulative result of the electric shocks she got when she jumped. Regardless, she tended to take it as a clear sign that she was done for the day.

 

Alex gazed out over the digital vista one last time before she willed herself to blink back to her apartment, popping there in an instant, enduring another static jolt in the process. Another day gone, and once more with nothing to show for it but a headache and lethargy. She would have to try again tomorrow, even if she no longer bothered making plans as to where to go.

 

Listlessly dragging her feet beneath her, Alex shuffled across the living room and flopped onto her bed, checking the clock to see how much longer it would take for Maggie to come and keep her company. Three more hours. Ugh. That may as well have been an ice age.

 

She groaned and buried her face in her pillow, trying and failing to sleep through the afternoon.

 

* * *

 

**Wednesday, May 6, 2020**

 

Alex stared intently at the utensil before her, her legs crossed as she sat on the floor of her apartment, near the foot of her bed. Her brows were knitted together in concentration. Alex was nothing if not persistent. And she absolutely refused to be defeated by a piece of cutlery.

 

“There is no spoon,” Alex said, focusing very hard on trying to bend it. After all, it was just data. It didn't really exist.

 

Yet again, though, she had no success.

 

“Come on. You heard me. There is no spoon,” Alex pressed, attempting to overpower it with sheer force of will. “I know that you aren't here in front of me. You're nothing. So _bend_.”

 

It didn't.

 

She frowned, not sure why this wasn't working. This reality was supposed to respond to her thoughts. She knew that it did, in some ways; she'd been able to make this very spoon appear just by imagining doing this experiment, purely out of her curiosity to see what would happen if she tried it. And yet, for some reason, she couldn't warp it out of shape. Why not? It was weird.

 

Not to mention that Alex Danvers, top DEO agent and expert bio-engineer, was now literally arguing with a spoon. Not even a real spoon. A _fake_ spoon. And she was _losing_. Alex pursed her lips at herself, wondering how her life had led her to this point.

 

At least nobody was there to see this. Small blessings.

 

Taking a different approach, Alex instead placed the spoon on the ground and pictured it levitating in the air in front of her. She thought about it as hard as she could, making her desire perfectly clear to the simulation around her, but to no avail. It didn't budge.

 

Evidently, the mind-cloud would not permit her or anybody else to do certain things that blatantly defied the rules of physics. Except that it seemed like such an arbitrary line to draw. Alex could teleport anywhere on the map, but not imitate Uri Geller's parlour tricks? Whoever or whatever had programmed this virtual world obviously did not place much value on consistency.

 

Upon reflection, Alex supposed that it made some amount of sense, though. With the nanomachines influencing them, the rest of the victims could pretty easily fail to detect jumps in time and space, like not noticing when they imagined a cup of coffee into existence. The simulation simply filled in the gaps by implanting false memories, especially for frequent, automatic tasks. But having the ability to make items levitate? That would enable anybody to realise something was wrong with this world and break free of its control, virus or no virus.

 

Despite that explanation, vexation got the better of her. Alex abandoned all subtlety and picked up the spoon, flexing it in her hands, cheating to win. “There you go! See? I bent it!” Alex triumphantly declared to whatever intelligence was operating this neural network, regardless of whether or not it was aware of her, brandishing the spoon like a trophy. "Stick that in your cloud and smoke it!"

 

Her victory was short-lived, however. Out of the corner of her eye, Alex caught sight of the spoon, prompting her to focus on it once more. She furrowed her brow. The handle was straight. Not even slightly crooked. No, that couldn't be right. Alex had unquestionably just bent it. And she hadn't been able to warp it with her mind before, so how was it possible that it had changed its shape?

 

If she didn't know better, Alex almost would have thought something had done that on purpose, just to mock her. A consciousness, per se. A slight shiver crept through her at that concept. That would have been creepy. Nevertheless, Alex was sure that wasn't the case.

 

All the same, Alex uttered a heavy huff and tossed the spoon across the room, not particularly caring where it landed. Once it was decisively discarded, she dropped down to lie flat on her back on the floor, defeated. How much time had that killed? Not nearly enough.

 

She was _bored_. So incredibly bored. She didn't know how much more of this she could endure without snapping.

 

Frankly, the only thing keeping Alex's sanity remotely intact was having Maggie in her life. When they were together, Alex could almost forget about where she was and why she was there. She got to pretend she felt like a normal person again, because she might as well have been in Maggie's presence. They were just two friends sharing an apartment. Talking. Hanging out. Ordering dinner. Making each other laugh. Getting to know one another. That was real - their bond was real. It wasn't part of the illusion, even if the world they were trapped in was.

 

Without Maggie by her side, Alex would have been completely and totally isolated, with nothing to do but notice exactly how shallow and alien this fake world truly was. But, unfortunately, Maggie was at work, so...yeah. That other thing was definitely happening. A lot. _  
_

 

During her absences, all Alex could do was either pointlessly hop around the city or sit and wait for the others to finally make contact with her again. Kara. Winn. J'onn. Everything she did in between was nought but a hopeless endeavour to while away the hours.

 

“Come on. Please respond,” Alex whispered, gazing up at the ceiling overhead, praying to hear something in her ear at long last. “Please.”

 

Once again, no sound came in reply. She sighed, letting her arms fall across her face.

 

She missed their voices. She missed knowing that there was a real world outside this simulation, with people she could talk to honestly about the nature of this false reality. She was fed up with being unable to acknowledge the truth anywhere but inside her own head, and weary of having no choice but to uphold the lie, lest she risk alienating the one person she had a connection with.

 

Every day she held onto the belief that this would be the one where everything slowed down to normal speed and brought communications back online. And every day she was wrong. The more times that happened, the dimmer the spark of confidence in her heart became. But it wouldn't be much longer before she heard from them, Alex thought. She had be approaching the limit.

 

If they didn't hear from Alex soon, it wasn't like the others would just forget about her. Kara, Winn and J'onn were standing right next to her real body, primed to let her out of the simulation in a heartbeat. Hell, they were probably already on their way to doing exactly that.

 

One way or another, this whole ordeal was going to be over before Alex knew it.

 

Any day now.

 

Surely.

 

* * *

 

**Tuesday, May 19, 2020**

 

Alex bounced a tennis ball off the wall in the apartment, watching the texture ripple into code beneath every impact. She'd imagined the ball into existence, just for something to do. She'd accidentally broken a lamp with a stray throw earlier, but thankfully Maggie would be none the wiser; thinking about fixing it had brought the lamp back to a pristine state, as if nothing had happened.

 

Actually, Alex suspected nothing _had_ happened. It made sense. Why could she straighten a spoon but not bend it with her mind? Because the past could be changed to prevent the alteration in the first place. It explained a lot, as that was essentially what had occurred after Alex tried to tell Maggie about the simulation, only to wind up in hospital with a head injury that she apparently suffered four days earlier, as if their whole conversation in the bar had never come to pass. So at least she'd learned an answer for that.

 

Small victories like that had lost their luster a while back. Alex had long since abandoned any enthusiasm for discovering how the world worked, and had no interest in testing its rules, because she didn't belong in there. She was just waiting to be set free. Always waiting.

 

She wasn't part of this simulation. She refused to be.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

Restlessness had prevented Alex from feeling content with merely sitting and watching TV, especially since she couldn't help but be hyper-critical of the flaws she found there. Every movie, every song, every show that was available in that world was clearly based on the memories of those inside the cloud. However, those memories were not perfect. Songs were mostly accurate, but anything longer? There were invariably gaps or mistakes or minor deviations in how people remembered them from the original. Hence the tennis ball.

 

It wasn't much, but at least it involved some kind of activity on Alex's part.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch. Bounce, bounce, catch. Over and over. Staving off boredom. Failing at it.

 

Concentrating on this dull, repetitive motion was better than being constantly slapped in the face by glaring defects that nobody else saw, and pretending she couldn't either. Every waking moment was a reminder that she was caught in an artifice - spinning her wheels and getting nowhere in an elaborate facsimile. The best Alex could manage to do was try to tune it out altogether.

 

That just left her alone with her thoughts, which was not as pleasant as that sounded.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

It had been nearly two months since Alex first entered the simulation, by her reckoning. Most of that had been spent in radio silence. This was certainly a lot longer than she'd intended to go without hearing from the outside world when she sped up time for herself, but Alex had done her best to remain calm and logical about the situation. Rationally, she had no cause to worry.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

Kara, Winn and J'onn had the ability to shut down the program and unplug her from the headset if something went wrong. The existence of that fail-safe had been the only reason they had all agreed to let her venture into the mind-cloud. Alex trusted that they would have disconnected her from the network at the first sign that she legitimately couldn't reverse whatever she'd done to get herself locked at this speed. She just hadn't expected that they would be willing to leave her in this long without caution taking over.

 

Although, come to think of it, how long _had_ it been for them? Alex had no clue.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

The previous exchange rate the last time she lost contact with the outside world had been one week to one minute, which meant Alex would have been in there for roughly eight minutes on this occasion, but that assumed the rate was constant, which wasn't confirmed. There was no evidence to say Alex couldn't be moving faster than before. It was possible that a minuscule amount of time had passed from the others' perspective. Maybe even seconds. They probably had no idea how long she had been waiting to hear from them.

 

Oddly enough, that was the prospect which Alex found most comforting, preventing her inner catastrophist from blowing her fears out of proportion and fixating on the worst case scenario. It gave her confidence not only because that was the most plausible theory, but primarily because it let her remain secure in the knowledge that she was going to get out at some stage, even if it that stage came far later than anticipated. She could withstand the delay, so long as she stayed focused on her inevitable release.

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

Without any shadow of a doubt, Alex could stake her very life on the fact that the others would never leave her in there, _especially_ not Kara and J'onn. They would free her the moment they realised something was amiss. She would never lose faith in how much they cared about her. The only explanation for Alex's current condition was that they hadn't yet reached that conclusion.

 

...But what if Alex was wrong about that, she wondered? What if the reason she was in this position was due to something else entirely?

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

Perhaps her unchanging condition was evidence that something had backfired in a way she hadn't anticipated. Maybe Alex was moving so fast that the outside world was, by comparison, not moving at all. Could that be why they weren't terminating the mission?

 

Bounce, bounce, catch.

 

What if they had tried to unplug her and failed? Or what if some nanomachines had managed to infiltrate her brain when she went into the shopping mall, meaning Winn couldn't simply deactivate his program to draw her out of the mind-cloud? Or what if the android had traced her transmission back to the DEO and attacked them while she lay there in this uploaded state, infecting everyone who could have freed Alex with more nanomachines, leaving nobody behind to disconnect her from the simulation?

 

There were a multitude of options but, either way, the ultimate question was the same:

 

She wasn't...stuck like this, was she?

 

That intrusive thought made her falter, failing to catch the tennis ball on the recoil. It bounced harmlessly along the floor behind her, rolling to a stop by a shelf on the opposite site of the apartment. Alex glimpsed her reflection in the window, her expression wrought with concern. She didn't want to consider that possibility, but it was becoming increasingly plausible – too plausible to dismiss.

 

What if this was now beyond her control, leaving Alex with no choice but to sit and wait for someone else to take down the android in the real world? How did she even know that was possible? Perhaps she had sealed her fate the moment she entered this virtual realm.

 

Maggie had already lived in this place for three years in the span of four hours. Was Alex condemned to endure the same? What if that was how long it took the others to destroy the network? Or what if it turned out there was no way to rescue the afflicted after all? What if Alex was genuinely going to be trapped in there for eternity, or something that felt damn near close enough to it?

 

Alex stared blankly at her reflected face. The surface of the glass glitched, revealing the code that comprised her features.

 

What if this was just her life now?

 

* * *

 

**Saturday, May 30, 2020**

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Alex had frequently noticed the ways Maggie looked at her when she thought she was out of view. There was a tentativeness there. An uncertainty. There were obviously so many things she wanted to do or say, compelled to comfort Alex and try to talk to her when she was pensive. It was written all over her face whenever she caught Maggie watching her. However, she must have felt as though she couldn't, because she never did, beyond trying to get the odd smile out of her every so often.

 

Alex wasn't astute enough to have worked out what it was that stood in her way. Perhaps Maggie was afraid of pushing the boundaries of their relationship too far too soon, worried she would be assuming too much by intruding upon Alex's private thoughts, as if she had a right to know them. That or maybe Maggie wasn't entirely sure whether her presence was wanted at all anymore.

 

Understandable. Alex hadn't exactly given Maggie a reason to feel otherwise lately. These silences were far too common.

 

Everything had changed, and Maggie had not failed to recognise it, though she had no idea what had gone wrong. They didn't joke around like they used to, because Alex was in no mood to laugh. They didn't talk over dinner. Not much, anyway, because Alex couldn't feign interest in sitting there pretending to listen to Maggie prattle on about a fake day at a fake job over a meal that didn't really exist.

 

This wasn't her life. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. And Alex couldn't muster the energy to keep up the charade.

 

It wasn't that Alex lacked empathy for Maggie. It had to have been difficult for her; Alex was the woman she had been in love with for three years – the woman she'd been ready to marry - and now they were so distant, for reasons she couldn't comprehend. That was why it never surprised her whenever she saw a glimmer of hurt in Maggie's eyes, either. It was a pain she'd put there.

 

Alex couldn't do much to alleviate it, though. She was too caught up in her own crisis to be of much use to anyone else, and there was nobody who could help her with those issues. Confiding in Maggie would only backfire. So Alex said less and less to her every day.

 

It was funny, in a horribly sad way. Maggie was the one person who had made this world bearable but Alex couldn't lean on her when she needed to most. Not about this. Now, it felt like they were growing further and further apart. Hell, they were. And, as Alex retreated deeper into herself, her separation from Maggie grew, depriving her of her sole source of comfort and companionship, which only served to make her even more miserable. That, in turn, widened the gap. It was a vicious cycle.

 

Maggie didn't know it, but that was why Alex had started bringing vodka into the apartment when she was at work. She'd stopped going out, because there was no point. She couldn't express her emotions. She couldn't repress them without driving herself crazy. But she could numb them, and try to feel nothing for a while. Better that than contemplate that she might be trapped there forever.

 

Eventually, Maggie summoned up the courage to break the pattern, approaching Alex.

 

“How are you feeling?” Maggie asked, coming over and joining Alex on the window seat, where she'd spent the last hour looking out over the sea of lights that served as a backdrop to the night beyond. The cushioned bench was big enough that they could both fit sideways in the space together, but small enough that their legs tangled if they extended them to any notable degree. “Everything alright?”

 

Alex shrugged. She couldn't put it into words. Not out loud.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” said Maggie, knowing something was troubling her.

 

“Not really,” Alex answered. It wasn't as if that was a viable option. Maggie wouldn't believe her; she'd just write anything Alex said off as a result of her brain injury. That or the past would be altered so she'd never expressed a thought that hurt the illusion in the first place.

 

Why bother?

 

“Okay. We don't have to talk,” Maggie told her, doing her best to be understanding. It seemed like she was walking on eggshells around Alex. Only it wasn't clear what she was more afraid of; that Alex would snap at her, or that Maggie would break her if she wasn't gentle enough.

 

Alex released a slow breath through her nose, her limbs sagging with remorse. She was acting like a complete ass and she was as aware of it as if she had her hand on a blisteringly hot stove. Maggie hadn't earned that cold shoulder; she'd done nothing to warrant being treated like crap. But she wasn't pushing Maggie away by choice. Honestly, Alex wanted nothing more than to speak openly about this.

 

Did she like being the way she was? Hell no. Alex hated being the only one who knew the truth about this simulation. She detested this inexorable feeling of isolation and alienation. She loathed how hard it was becoming to even remember that there was a world outside, and how draining it was to have to dwell on the fact that she had no idea how long it might be until she saw it again.

 

This wasn't fair on Maggie, no. And it wasn't fair on Alex, either.

 

If she had the chance, she would have told Maggie everything, yet the last time Alex tried, it got erased and she woke up with a concussion. Plus, Maggie had literal machines in her head preventing her from rejecting the simulation. What else could Alex do but stay silent?

 

Perhaps it didn't have to be a case of all or nothing, though. Maybe there were ways Alex could get across some aspects of what she was doing such a bad job of coping with without divulging too much. Maybe she could talk to Maggie somehow, because God knew Alex didn't want to cut her out. Without her, it honestly felt like she had nothing. There had to be some kind of compromise. 

 

“...Do you ever feel like you're not really here?” Alex began, wondering whether, deep down, some part of Maggie was able to see through the façade and recognise how flimsy and incongruous this virtual reality truly was. “Like the world around you is paper-thin?”

 

“How do you mean?” Maggie prompted, more in an effort to get Alex to open up to her and share her burdens than anything else.

 

“As in everyone and everything is shallow and two-dimensional,” Alex quietly explained, holding out hope that some small fragment of Maggie remained blocked off from the nanomachines, allowing her to put the pieces together independently of their influence. “Like things that should be there are missing, and other things are where they shouldn't be, without you knowing how they got there?”

 

Maggie's expression shone with sympathy. “Alex, I know you probably feel like you should be a lot further along than you are, but you suffered a serious head injury; you lost _three years_ of your life,” she pointed out. “It's only natural that you'd feel like a complete stranger.”

 

Alex's heart sank at those words. They didn't surprise her. She hadn't expected Maggie to grasp what she was talking about, if she even could with that blasted tech in her head. But that didn't soothe Alex's encroaching sorrows. For as important as her bond with Maggie was, she was on her own when it came to this world – the only one whose perception wasn't clouded by the virus. She may as well have been an alien who'd landed on another planet. Even being with the woman she loved couldn't eliminate that profound sense of despair.

 

God, she would have traded anything to be able to talk to Kara again. Just for thirty seconds. Just once. To hear the voice of someone real. To know that she wasn't crazy. To have that assurance that there was a life beyond the confines of this code. To be sure that Kara was still okay. To be reminded that this wasn't the end - that somehow, someway, they would get her back.

 

She couldn't bear to wonder whether 'no harm done' might be the last words she ever said to her sister.

 

“I need to get out of here,” Alex confessed without consciously meaning to. It was the closest thing to an honest admission she could make.

 

“Yeah. Sure. Of course,” Maggie agreed without hesitation, wanting nothing more than for Alex to be happy again. Except, as per the norm, she had misinterpreted what she meant by that. “Don't feel as though you need to stay cooped up in this apartment. That's not good for you. Go out and do your own thing when I'm at work. You seem like you're healthy enough for that.”

 

Alex's dark expression didn't change. She had already done that previously, and it hadn't helped. But maybe it was worth venturing back outside, despite having given up on finding the android. Alex was going to lose her freaking mind if she didn't find things to do. That is, if there was anything left to lose. And who knew how much longer she would have to survive in there like this?

 

She felt like she was drowning. Alex was in a cage submerged underwater while everyone else had gills. And if she ever begged them to see that she couldn't breathe, they would only stare at her, clueless as to why she was asphyxiating when they were just fine.

 

Without any exaggeration or hyperbole, Alex had never felt so alone.

 

She wanted to scream. If she didn't, she thought she might burst under the pressure.

 

“Hey.” Maggie reached out, bridging the divide, resting a gentle hand on Alex's knee. “I wasn't playing games when I said I would support you. Whatever you need from me, you'll get it. No questions asked,” she swore to her, committing wholeheartedly to every word.

 

Her gaze fell upon Maggie then, chaotic emotions flickering in Alex's eyes as she examined her face. It was all true. Amid the torture and confinement that was living in this world, Maggie was her rock, her stability, her companion, and the one thing she could cling to without fear or mistrust, despite the simulation driving a wedge between them, keeping them at a distance.

 

In that moment, Alex didn't want distance. No. Instead, she chose to cling to Maggie tighter than ever.

 

Alex lurched forward, crossing the gap and kissing her, hard. Maggie reacted with surprise, caught off guard. They had only been living as friends, as they agreed. And yet Maggie's feelings hadn't changed. She couldn't seem to resist, all but melting against Alex's lips.

 

The sensation of Maggie kissing her back emboldened her. Alex slipped her hands beneath Maggie's shirt, hitching it up, caressing the exposed skin of her hips. The thirst for solace, and the hunger for intimacy and affection that stirred within her at that touch was the most authentic, unsimulated thing Alex had experienced in weeks. It made her feel human, reminding her that she wasn't dead yet.

 

She didn't care about right or wrong anymore, if it even mattered, given how long she might be stuck in there. Alex was just desperate to feel something – to feel connected to someone. She wanted to be touched, and craved, and loved, and undone. Because at least Maggie was real, and the way she felt about Maggie was real. This was _her_ passion. _Her_ desire. Alex yearned to surrender to it.

 

It was the closest she could get to experiencing something outside the parametres of the illusion. Something that wasn't predetermined by programming and code. Something Alex had dreamt of before she ever came into this false reality. Feelings that were fundamentally hers.

 

Even if it was only for one night, Alex would take it, because it was one night that she wouldn't be alone.

 

Uttering a soft moan of arousal against Maggie's lips, Alex inelegantly fumbled with her belt buckle, urging for this to go further. It had to. Alex _needed_ this. She needed to feel Maggie inside her – to fill that aching void, by any means, before the emptiness consumed her.

 

Without further provocation, Maggie took that cue to gently seize her hand, halting it. “Alex, stop.”

 

That word was all Alex had to hear to comply. She looked down at Maggie, searching her eyes. “What? What's wrong?”

 

“You know what is,” Maggie pointed out with an apologetic half-smile.

 

"No. I'm...I'm ready," Alex insisted, not sure if that was the issue.

 

"No offence, but no you're not," Maggie said frankly, seeing straight through that claim. She wasn't upset over what Alex had done, but nothing could convince Maggie that this wasn't the wrong choice. Not with the disassembled state Alex was in.

 

Alex stared at her, confused. Didn't Maggie want this? Hadn't she subconsciously conjured up this whole, elaborate fantasy of being with her? Or was Alex already that much of a wreck that Maggie wouldn't dream of laying a hand on her?

 

Maggie paused and drew breath, collecting herself. “I'm not going to lie and pretend I've never thought about falling into bed with you, but...this isn't how we want to do this,” Maggie told her, her voice a faintly heady whisper as her adrenaline steadily subsided. “I can't rush into this with you, Alex. Not _you_. Not when I know we'll both regret it. You're too important to me.”

 

She accompanied that admission by brushing a few stray strands of Alex's hair back behind her ear, being as gentle as possible in turning her down. Alex sighed and withdrew, sitting straight back against the wall and the armrest, exactly where she'd been before, this time with one hand draped across her knees and the other perched against her forehead in shame and humiliation.

 

Alex despised herself for doing that. She really was making an absolute mess of everything, wasn't she? Even to the point of risking destroying what she had with Maggie, who'd been so selfless. That knowledge just served to gnaw away at Alex's already hollow heart.

 

Maybe she deserved to be forced to live in limbo like this.

 

“Alex...” Maggie reached out to her, sensing Alex close off again. That hadn't been a rejection.

 

“No. It's nothing. I was just being stupid. Never mind,” Alex mumbled, shaking her head, gazing out through the window once more, retreating back into her sombre musings. However reluctant she was to leave her without getting past that impenetrable shell Alex had erected, Maggie took that as a sign that she wanted to be alone and acquiesced, giving her space.

 

* * *

 

**Monday, June 1, 2020**

 

Alex stuffed her face, digging into the meal she'd ordered at the café. It was her third in a single session, to be perfectly upfront. Alex didn't actually have to eat in this world, but she could also eat whatever the hell she wanted without gaining any weight, which she'd proven when she consumed an entire tub of ice-cream while staying up all night watching Friends re-runs of varying accuracy. She didn't even like the show, but obviously someone the android had brought into the simulation had been a fan.

 

Given how boring this world was, she chose to indulge her taste buds, even if overeating did eventually make her feel sick, the same way it would have done for her actual body. It killed time, at least. Anything to keep her mind occupied and stop her brain from cannibalising itself out of sheer lack of engagement. Contrary to what one might have expected in a virtual reality, Alex had precious few of those.

 

While she ate, Alex let her attention drift to the other patrons who were seated outside the café with her. She cast her eyes over her table to the group of three situated directly across from her. Now that she no longer saw code everywhere, it was getting harder and harder for Alex to tell the difference between which people were actual victims of the android, and which were simply projections of memories. Or worse, 'filler'. Not that Alex could forge any meaningful connections with any of them. They were all just as much a part of the lie.

 

Alex pursed her lips in thought. Come to think of it, maybe they could provide some fleeting distraction. She raised her fingers in front of her, wondering if she could influence people the same way she could will objects into existence. She focused on the man closest to her – a white-collar office worker with greying hair – picturing him getting angry and knocking his plate off the table.

 

Nothing happened. He continued to laugh happily at a joke one of his companions had told, oblivious to Alex's very existence. Alex frowned, pushing her plate aside and folding her arms together on the table, resting her chin on them. So much for that idea.

 

Her gaze wandered the area, searching for something that might vaguely interest her. She glanced at the table beside her. A woman her age was busy texting. Her handbag sat wide open on the ground, ripe for a pickpocket. Out of idle curiosity, Alex extended her hand again, concentrating on summoning the lady's purse out of her bag and into her grasp, just for the sake of finding out whether she could.

 

As before, nothing happened.

 

She let her arm fall limp by her side, not bothering to persist. Alex wasn't surprised that hadn't worked. She could influence the virtual world with her thoughts, but only up to a point. These must have been more unwritten rules of the simulation.

 

She couldn't do something that broke the illusion of reality and exposed the lie, which made sense. This simulation wouldn't be very effective if its first priority wasn't to sustain itself. Based on this experiment, Alex apparently also couldn't use her mind to override the wants or thoughts of others – she couldn't infringe upon their will, or do something fundamentally harmful towards them. Any wish had to be shared and mutual in order to trigger an event that affected two or more people, as had happened with her and Maggie in the past.

 

Knowing that did nothing to improve her opinion of this place. If anything, it made it worse, because the fact that she had deciphered the laws of this world to that extent only drove home how long Alex had been stuck there in order to learn all of those frivolous details.

 

Alex sighed heavily, squeezing her eyes shut and dragging clawed nails down her face in frustration.

 

She couldn't take much more of this. The only reason Alex hadn't done something totally reckless like hurtling herself off a cliff purely to see what happened was because the head injury she'd suffered had confirmed she could feel pain in here. That and she didn't actually want to risk severely hurting her virtual self, just in case it killed her in the real world too. The temptation was there, though.

 

The morbid mental image made her snicker under her breath. Come to think of it, flinging herself into the ocean would have been a dramatic way to exit the program on her own terms. It would definitely make a memorable statement, that was for sure.

 

But, ultimately, even if Alex had known that something like that was safe to attempt, or even that it would bring her out of the neural network without harming her real body, she wasn't honestly sure she would have done it. In fact, she was fairly certain she wouldn't have. Not unless she knew she would be bringing Maggie with her. She couldn't escape without her. Especially not if leaving the simulation would mean letting Maggie believe she'd lost Alex twice. She could never be that cruel to the woman she loved.

 

And yet, a small but increasingly vocal part of her resented Maggie. Or it wanted to. It was a voice in her head that told her she should stop caring as much as she did, because it was Maggie's fault that Alex was there in this hell-hole. Partially because she'd gone into the mall and gotten infected. Mainly because she had the gall to be so perfect that Alex had no choice but to be smitten with her.

 

It would have been simpler if she could have forced herself to be angry at Maggie, because at least that would have been a clear and coherent emotion. But she couldn't. Alex didn't have that in her. She was still madly in love with Maggie. And that was a problem.

 

It was a problem because, no matter how badly being imprisoned in this world was tormenting her, and despite everything she'd been through, deep down Alex didn't want to go. Not on her own. It wouldn't be worth leaving this simulation and saving herself if she couldn't save Maggie too. If the others gave her a way out, Alex didn't think she would ever be able to live with herself if she took it.

 

Understanding that about herself meant Alex had to confront a devastating fact: that an outcome where both of them could leave the neural network together might not be possible. And, if it wasn't, then Alex had to think long and hard about what she would do.

 

What if there wasn't a choice? What if she had to leave Maggie behind to return to the real world? What if there was no compromise?

 

In truth, Alex would have sacrificed anything to rescue Maggie, including both her own mental health and God only knew how much time in this simulation. Maybe endless time. Maybe there was no limit. And that fact made Alex not want to be close to Maggie at all, because every soul-crushing second she spent there was making her primal instincts blare with pure desperation to get out. That she might have said no on account of her feelings was just proof of how drastically they were clouding her judgement.

 

These bitter thoughts fuelled their separation, driving Alex further away from Maggie and deeper into her chasm, blaming her for unwittingly keeping her there. It was also why Alex drank; she didn't want to have to deal with these horrible, convoluted emotions anymore.

 

For the first time, Alex was starting to question whether it was even worth going back to Maggie's apartment.

 

Maybe she would be better off if she didn't - if she cut herself off from her presence entirely.

 

* * *

 

**Thursday, June 4, 2020**

 

"There you are." Maggie breathed a sigh of relief when Alex finally got home. "Are you okay?"

 

Alex snorted, closing the door behind her as Maggie approached. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

 

Maggie stopped, taken aback by Alex's standoffish response. "I don't know. But that's something you tend to ask when you're worried about someone," Maggie commented, folding her arms across her chest as she regarded Alex, her concern shifting to suspicion. "Where were you today?" she asked her, not sure what to make of her sudden transformation in behaviour, but certainly not condoning it.

 

"Out," Alex answered plainly. It was the first time she'd ever been late. Normally, she made a conscious effort to beat Maggie home from work. That was why, as far as Maggie knew, Alex had never left the apartment, but keeping up that front was losing its appeal.

 

"Just out?" said Maggie with a shrug, not satisfied with that.

 

"You said I could go do what I want while you're at work," Alex pointed out, grabbing a cold slice of pizza from the table. Maggie had ordered dinner for two, so there was plenty left over. "So what's with the Spanish Inquisition all of a sudden? Unless you changed your mind."

 

"Of course I didn't change my mind. But I expected you to be home before sundown. Or if you weren't going to be, then to say where you were or leave a note telling me where I can find you," Maggie replied, thinking those were perfectly reasonable requests.

 

"Maybe I didn't want you to find me," Alex muttered.

 

"Excuse me?" Maggie squinted at her, not sure she'd heard that correctly, or maybe she smelled the alcohol on her breath.

 

"It's nothing." Alex shook her head, brushing it off, moving through the living room to go and slump down on her bed, fatigued. She knew she didn't need to sleep, but she sorely wished she could. Physically, she was fine. Mental tiredness was another thing entirely.

 

"Alex..." Maggie followed after her, unwilling to let this slide.

 

" _What?_ " Alex curtly shot back, not sure why she wouldn't drop it. Alex had come back, hadn't she? And she didn't have to do that. What more did Maggie want? Why did they have to have a conversation about it? Why couldn't Maggie just leave her alone?

 

Maggie must have read her mood from her gaze because she elected to avoid the argument, evidently realising Alex wouldn't absorb a word of it. "Just don't do it again, okay?" Maggie told her before walking away, not especially keen to deal with Alex at that moment in time, either. Both of them went to their corners, the tension simmering, but neither willing to engage in an outright fight.

 

Alex stewed in silence, wishing she'd never come into the mind-cloud. She didn't even bother asking if anyone could hear her anymore, nor did she listen for familiar voices to emerge over her headset. She knew what the result would be. Nothing was going to happen.

 

* * *

 

**Tuesday, June 9, 2020**

 

Alex was fed up. She'd had enough. She hated this fake reality.

 

She needed to get herself and everyone else out of this place. _Now_. She didn't care what it took.

 

“Come on! Show yourself!” Alex demanded, storming down the third street she'd jumped to in National City that morning in search of the android. She'd thrown all caution to the wind. She didn't only want to test the limits of this world to occupy her boredom anymore. She wanted to _break_ it. She wanted to mess with its programming and violate its rules so badly that she made it malfunction.

 

If it was going to imprison her like this, then she would make the android sorely regret it. Alex would rather incite its wrath than live as its human doll. She chose rebellion over slavery, even if it meant she had to burn this whole facsimile of a city to the ground.

 

"I'm right here!" she said, her arms wide open, concealing no weapons. "Whatever you want with me, come and get it!"

 

No response. But she'd expected that.

 

Unlike everyone else in this simulation, Alex had unrestricted control over her own mind, and she was damn well going to exercise it. Whatever this android had in store for all of its victims, it would have to contend with her first. Alex wouldn't go down without a fight.

 

After all, what did it matter? What consequences could there be? This wasn't real. This wasn't her life and it wasn't her body, but she was desperate to get back to both. Hence, she had nothing to lose. She could scream at the top of her lungs. She could cause chaos. Maybe, if she did, the people around her would finally notice the cracks, or the mind-cloud would eject them. Either worked.

 

With fiery determination in her eyes, Alex marched down the sidewalk, picking up a chair from a café along the way.

 

“I don't care if everyone else in here thinks I'm crazy anymore, and I don't care if saying this gets me hurt again!” Alex began, boldly declaring her intentions in the middle of the busy street. Some people glanced at her as they passed, but paid her little attention. “Your world isn't real! And, if you won't let me and the rest of your victims out, then I'm going to destroy your precious puppet show!”

 

To show how serious her threat was, Alex flung her chair straight through the glass window of the coffee shop, shattering it. Fury burned in her gaze, revelling in the delightful sound of shards scattering on the ground. That felt so good. That release.

 

Free will.

 

“There! Did you like that?!” Alex challenged, facing the bustling road once more, certain that the android had to be able to hear her, in some capacity. And, if it couldn't, then she would make enough noise that it would have no choice but to heed her and take notice.

 

However, instead of being met with shock or stunned stares, everyone in the street kept on walking by. Alex's brow quirked in puzzlement, her chest rising and falling with every breath. She blinked and turned back around, looking at the window she'd broken. Except it was perfectly intact. Hell, the chair she'd grabbed had even returned to the very spot she'd taken it from. It was like nothing had happened.

 

Of course, Alex thought, realising what had taken place. The past had been changed to undo that event, like she'd seen happen before. Frustration surged inside her. She was not deterred. Whatever was behind this had clearly underestimated her stubbornness.

 

“Go ahead and erase my actions! I don't care! I'll just keep doing it!” she avowed, flipping the nearest table in her rage, refusing to be ignored. But the moment it was about to hit the ground, it popped back into place. The same thing happened again with the next table. “You can't stop me!” Alex hissed, utterly livid. She didn't give a damn about anything. She just wanted something _real_ to happen. But it couldn't.

 

Every single thing about this world was illusory. And nobody but her could see it. Alex was a rat in a cage - the subject of this android's twisted experiment, or game, or whatever this was - reflexively biting at her oppressive, cardboard box.

 

She'd never related more to why abused circus animals chewed their own limbs off. Except, in this case, Alex couldn't even be sure the simulation would deign to permit her that much agency over her own artificial mock-up of a life in this place. It almost would have been worth it, purely to feel something again. And yet, the sick joke was that even the pain would have been a lie.

 

Out of nowhere, someone abruptly bumped into her on the sidewalk, disrupting her thoughts.

 

“Excuse me,” said the man, barely aware of her.

 

“Wake the hell up! You're in a simulation!” Alex bellowed at him. He didn't appear to be listening. “Hey, I'm talking to you!” said Alex, marching after him, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around to face her. By that point, she couldn't honestly tell whether he was real or fake. It didn't make a difference to her. Not enough to feel any guilt for her intended actions. “If this is what it takes to get us out of here, you're going to thank me for this,” she growled through gritted teeth, clenching her fist and rearing it back.

 

Just as she went to punch the stranger, the entire scene around her vanished. In an instant, Alex had been transported back to the apartment she lived in with Maggie. The simulation had refused to let her cause such a public disturbance, preventing her from lashing out.

 

Boiling with impotent anger and no means to expel it, Alex uttered a wordless shout and kicked a chair halfway across her apartment. That time, it stuck. The past didn't alter to undo that, because no one was there to see her. But Alex hardly felt satisfied by that.

 

There was nothing Alex could do. Even when she acted out and tried to exercise some fleeting fragment of defiance, the simulation stopped her from breaching its rules. It made it so none of the victims in there with her would ever believe her. It erased her attempts to shatter the illusion. It teleported her away. She had no power; Alex was screaming into the abyss, and nobody could hear her.

 

Alex dug her nails into the sides of her head so hard that she nearly drew blood, her deep, heavy breaths failing to calm her ire. She felt like she was a ticking time-bomb about to explode. Except, even if she did, it wouldn't have changed anything.

 

She'd hit her breaking point. She felt like she was going insane. And Alex didn't even care enough to try to stop her chaotic spiral.

 

* * *

 

**Friday, June 12, 2020**

 

Billiard balls clacked. The eight sank into the corner pocket.

 

“Yes!” Alex cheered, pumping her fist as she leapt up onto the pool table in celebration. “Ten wins in a row! None of you can dethrone me! Ha, it's like you're not even programmed to play this!” she boldly declared, picking up her mug of beer and draining it victoriously. When it was finished, she casually tossed the glass back over her shoulder, letting it smash to pieces on the ground.

 

She didn't give a damn anymore. Nor did she need to. Not here.

 

The bar patrons barely took notice of her behaviour, a fact which made her smirk. She could shatter glasses or drink herself stupid or shout that the world wasn't real until her voice went hoarse, and it didn't matter. It didn't, because she was the only real person there.

 

Nobody else in sight was anything more than a jumble of loosely assembled memories. None of the victims who had been infected with the nanomachines knew of this place, aside from Maggie. That meant this bar was the one secluded spot where Alex could embrace some semblance of freedom. She could get away with doing just about anything, because the simulation didn't process her behaviour as a threat.

 

There were no consequences for any of her actions. Time didn't reset. She didn't get teleported back to her apartment if she behaved badly. She could do what she liked. As such, she didn't want to leave. No. Instead, Alex wanted to get absolutely blitzed out of her brain.

 

So far, she was succeeding.

 

“Hey, coming through,” Alex said as she jumped down from the pool table, stumbling slightly on her landing and staggering over to the counter. She hadn't been this wasted since med school. And, because the rules of reality didn't apply, her bender was just getting started. She couldn't get tired. This wasn't her real body. She was nothing but a program in the neural network.

 

Fortunately, Alex had found that those facts didn't stop alcohol from being just as effective in this digital world as it was outside it. Alcohol, her trusted friend; it never failed her. Speaking of which, it was a friend with whom she still had a lot of catching up to do.

 

“I don't even care what you're going to get me anymore, just get me a lot of it,” Alex slurred to the fake M'gann. An entire bottle of black label scotch and a glass with ice spontaneously came into existence in front of her. “Ooh, nice. You're getting good at this,” Alex enthused, grabbing the bottle and pouring generously. She and the simulation appeared to have reached an understanding.

 

At least if she was destined to be a lab rat, she could be one on her own terms – specifically, too drunk to feel anything.

 

She eyed her scotch greedily as she turned, intent on amusing herself with more bar games when, suddenly, she collided with someone. Alex was knocked back against the counter, bumping it hard enough that the bottle slipped from her fingers and smashed on the ground, though she managed to keep a grip on her glass. "What the hell? Watch where you're going!" Alex spat, annoyed.

 

"Watch what? You stumbled into me," a burly alien with amphibious features gruffly grunted in response. Her gaze narrowed. It was instinct that made her react the way she had, but why did she even bother? He was nothing more than a face she remembered.

 

"You know, you shouldn't be talking to me like that. I mean, I could easily kick your ass in reality, so you don't stand a chance in this world," Alex casually warned, raising her brows in an attempt to appear more sober.

 

"Sure. Whatever." The alien shrugged her off, ordering a drink. Alex squinted at him in contemplation.

 

One of the things Alex had noticed about the neural network was that she had better luck than she did in the real world. Well, it was speculation more than fact, but it wasn't without statistical evidence. Even while hammered, she was sinking tricky shots in pool and scoring better in darts than she ever used to. Naturally, the difference wasn't so great that it would strike anyone as peculiar; if the simulation enabled everyone to win at everything all the time, Alex figured the people inside would get suspicious.

 

Nevertheless, it gave her an idea.

 

She swallowed a big sip of scotch for courage before slamming her glass down on the counter. “Alright, buddy, you and me, let's go,” Alex challenged, leaning heavily on the bar next to the burly alien, putting her elbow down and holding up her arm in a blatant sign of what contest she had in mind, ready to prove her strength. “One hundred dollars says you can't beat me.”

 

Her fake memory of the bar patron snorted sceptically, eyeing her smaller frame. “You kidding?”

 

“Come on. You pretty much have to do whatever I want anyway. I mean, what's it to you? You don't even really _exist_ ,” Alex drunkenly pointed out, refusing to let it go until the fake construct took her on in an arm-wrestling match. “Let's do this!”

 

Resigned to having no choice in the matter, the alien linked his right hand with hers. “Okay, fine. On the count of three. One, two, three.”

 

Alex was nearly thrown off balance by the sudden exertion of pressure, straining to keep her arm upright. It was bizarre to think about how mere lines of code with no physical presence could mimic weight, mass and force so expertly. However, Alex concentrated on one key fact: she was real, and he wasn't. Where there was a will, there was a way, and she wasn't about to lose to an illusion.

 

She channelled her pent up aggression into determination, focusing on generating power. Sure enough, she slammed his hand down on the hard wooden surface, so fast that it knocked him from his stool when his arm slipped off the counter, sending him tumbling to the floor.

 

“Ha! Nailed it! I am nailing...all the things!” Alex raised her hands triumphantly, shaking off the intoxicated blur from her vision. “Now give it,” she said, smugly curling her finger at her defeated opponent as he picked himself up off the ground. “Pay up. Come on.”

 

“Fine. Here's your money,” the alien murmured, handing over five twenty dollar bills.

 

“Yeah, that's right. There we go,” Alex taunted him, taking the cash without so much as a modicum of shame.

 

“Human bitch,” he grumbled at her, making his disgruntled departure.

 

“Language, sir!” Alex cracked up laughing, finding her own mock-seriousness immensely hilarious in her inebriated state. The man ignored her, storming towards to the door. Alex closed one eye and followed his retreating figure with two fingers in the shape of a pistol, pointed squarely at his head. “Pow,” she said, miming shooting him. Nothing happened. He just left.

 

Hell, Alex could have done that for real with her sidearm and it wouldn't have mattered. After all, it wasn't like that guy was a person. Alex was the only living thing in that bar. None of these constructs had any thoughts or feelings. They were paper-thin cut-outs.

 

She could do whatever she wanted around them. Or to them. It made no difference.

 

Upon that thought, her gaze landed on a moderately attractive woman further down the bar. Alex let her teeth graze her lower lip, curious. She knew she was gay now, but she'd still never been with a girl. She wondered what it was like, and whether she'd actually enjoy it or not. These constructs should have felt no different from being with a real woman. Besides, Maggie had rebuffed her advances, so...

 

Yeah. There was nothing wrong with it. Why be a lab rat if she couldn't conduct her own experiments? Having feelings for Maggie didn't mean Alex owed her any loyalty. And, after all, Maggie got to sleep with a fake Alex for three years. Didn't she deserve the same opportunity to sate her needs? Maybe a random, non-existent stranger and a drunken one-night stand could stave off her loneliness and fill the very void she'd tried to fill two weeks before, only this time without potentially alienating a real person.

 

Even though she hadn't made her mind up yet, Alex finished what was left of her scotch and approached the stranger with the vaguely familiar face. "Excuse me; I have a serious question," Alex slurred, tapping her on the shoulder, garnering her attention. "Given that this is a virtual reality and you're essentially nothing more than a figment of my imagination, would it be beneath me to drag you into the bathroom right now?" she asked, her fingers rapping an idle rhythm on the counter, uncertain of the answer.

 

In response, the bar patron stared at her vacantly, like an empty shell.

 

"...Yep. Yep. Definitely beneath me," Alex confirmed, turning away and giving up on that idea entirely. Hooking up with a blank slate with all the depth of a puddle was too pathetic for her to go through with. Even in her downward spiral, Alex retained some standards.

 

Honestly, making out with her would have been like...kissing an inanimate object rather than a person. That was a disgusting idea.

 

“Okay. Back to better things; drinking alone it is. Here we go.” Alex prepared herself, holding her hands out over the counter and wiggling her fingers. “ _Shots!_ ” she commanded. On cue, a row of six tequila shots appeared on the bar. Alex's lip quirked, picking up the first glass, approving of the selection. “At least this reality can do one thing right.”

 

Just as she threw her head back and downed the shot, she became conscious of the door opening. Alex glanced back over her shoulder. Maggie stood there, locking eyes with her from across the room. And she was not pleased. Feeling a sense of imminent dread, Alex belatedly tried to avoid detection by looking anywhere except at her, but she heard every purposeful footstep as Maggie approached.

 

“Alex, what the hell are you doing here?” asked Maggie, not needing to raise her voice.

 

Alex shrugged. “Drinking. Playing pool. Sometimes darts. I arm-wrestled a guy. Won a hundred bucks. Here.” Maggie slapped the money out of her face when Alex carelessly tossed it back at her. "It's actually kind of fun being a rat once you accept it. I'd say you should try it but..." She trailed off, quirking her brows; Maggie had already been at peace with her captivity long before she got there.

 

“Don't do that. And don't pretend you don't know what I mean,” said Maggie, her tone unchanging. This was serious. Nevertheless, Alex paid no mind to Maggie's concerted effort to occupy her peripheral vision. “I haven't seen you since yesterday morning. How do you think I felt when you didn't come home last night, huh? When you didn't even _call_ to let me know you weren't in hospital again?”

 

“I don't know. Bad, probably,” Alex muttered, beyond the point of caring. Nobody had any sympathy for what Alex had endured in this world. She was too bitter, too drunk and too caught up in her own pain to feel guilty for dragging anyone else down with her.

 

“Have you been here this whole time?” Maggie challenged, a curtness underlying her words.

 

“Yep,” Alex answered nonchalantly, downing another shot.

 

“Are you out of your mind?” Maggie pressed, unable to comprehend that Alex was doing something so reckless. She was going out and getting smashed like it was her last night on Earth. “What are you thinking? You need to come home. _Now_.”

 

“No, I don't. I can stay here as long as I want because I don't _need_ to _sleep_ ,” Alex replied in a slurred, sing-song sort of voice. And it was true. She didn't. This wasn't her physical body, so she couldn't get tired. Not really. Or, if she did, she never had to sleep to resolve it. Nonetheless, going without rest was one of the things driving her crazy about this place. She couldn't switch off. Ever.

 

“You're still recovering from a concussion,” Maggie pointed out. Alex rolled her eyes, deliberately ignoring her and picking up her third shot. Maggie's hand covered the glass, forcing it back down onto the counter with the speed of a striking snake. “You can't get drunk.”

 

“Oh, I can,” Alex assured her. “Trust me; I have not yet _begun_ to get wasted. I'm barely at sixty percent—”

 

“ _Alex_.” That time, Maggie did speak louder. She was not playing games. Alex eventually made eye-contact, realising that Maggie was going to fix her with that incensed stare until she did. "What's the matter with you?" she asked her, looking utterly betrayed, like she was talking to a total stranger masquerading as somebody she loved. "It's like I don't even recognise you right now."

 

"That's because you don't," Alex retorted, her tone acerbic. "I'm not your Alex, and I never have been."

 

" _You don't have to be!_ " Maggie snapped at her. It was the first time Alex had ever heard her yell, and it startled her to the point that it delayed her recognition of what she'd actually said. "Is that what this is about?!" Maggie persisted, committed to solving this.

 

Alex couldn't respond, too stunned by that emotive outburst to react. It was almost bewildering to see her like that. Maggie was normally so relaxed and laid-back. Even when she was obviously upset, she tended to mull on it rather than making some kind of big, external show of expressing it. For Alex to be met with that same person in a mood that could only be described as furious? There was nothing intimidating about it, but it drove home just how badly Maggie must have been hurt by her actions over these past few days.

 

Maggie really cared about her; to know Alex was suffering was to suffer along with her.

 

Following a short silence, Maggie visibly calmed herself, regretting raising her voice like that. Once she'd quelled her temper, she reached out and gently clutched her arm. “Alex, please stop this and come home with me,” she said, concern shining in her gaze, trying to compel her to listen rather than ordering her what to do. She was worried. She had been ever since Alex left.

 

Alex's expression soured. She couldn't cooperate with that. If she went home, she'd just be going back to slowly losing her mind. And Alex knew she'd be no less likely to make Maggie miserable with however she acted in that scenario than she was making her now.

 

“I'm not going to leave until you do,” Maggie insisted, refusing to allow Alex self-destruct on her watch.

 

Alex groaned, rubbing her palm against her face, closing her eyes. She didn't want to have this conversation. She consciously blocked out Maggie's voice and pictured herself somewhere else. Anywhere. Preferably a place full of distractions, so she didn't have to think about languishing in this purgatory, and could forget about the horrible turn her life had taken to visit this fate upon her.

 

“You can't just ignore me—“ Right as Maggie said that, both she and the bar popped out of Alex's sight.

 

“Oh, thank God,” Alex said under her breath, glad to have avoided that discussion. These jumps really were a blessing. She blinked and groggily stood up straight, leaning against a wall for balance, squinting as she tried to work out where she'd transported herself to.

 

What she saw before her was clearly an arcade. And it was night, so she was the only one there. “Huh.” Alex tilted her head. This wasn't usually her scene, but she had asked the virtual reality to give her distractions. This was pretty good, as that went. Unfortunately, she was now missing her tequila shots, which was a shame; Alex could have used another strong drink. Or several.

 

Naturally, that was all it took for a bottle of vodka to spontaneously appear in her hand. Alex arched an eyebrow before shrugging and taking a swig from it, wiping any spillage from her mouth as she wandered into the arcade, each machine coming to life as she stumbled past. For as much as Alex hated being stuck in this virtual world, she could admit that it did have some positive qualities.

 

With that, Alex put the bottle aside and picked up a light gun, firing up a game of Time Crisis.

 

Appropriate name, Alex thought.

 

* * *

 

**Sunday, June 14, 2020**

 

Fake reality or not, it turned out there had been a limit to how long Alex could drink and how many times she could throw up in the bathroom before her simulated body gave out. At least, that was how she assumed she had wound up lying half passed out in a booth at the bar.

 

The light above her was spinning. She watched it through bleary eyes until a silhouette came into view.

 

“Get up. You're coming home,” Maggie's shadow declared.

 

Alex's head hurt so badly she could hardly even recognise her through the glare. “What?”

 

“This isn't an argument,” Maggie stated, no levity in her voice. “You can kick and scream all you want. I'll drag you out of here if I have to. I'm not going to stand by and watch you drink yourself to death,” she said, and it was readily apparent that she was not being melodramatic.

 

With a groan of reluctance, Alex unsteadily pushed herself off the seat. Once one foot hit the ground, Maggie grabbed her sleeve, pulling her up the rest of the way and physically leading her out of the bar. Alex was not dumb enough to offer any resistance.

 

It was a silent drive home. Tense. Filled with unspoken feelings. Alex sat in the backseat of the car, nursing her terrible headache, trying not to let the motion of the vehicle upset her stomach enough to make her retch again. She wasn't oblivious to the icy chill in the atmosphere, either. Maggie may not have externalised it, but there was no mistaking how pissed off she was.

 

Alex wasn't going to complain; she'd earned that.

 

"Go. Inside," Maggie firmly instructed when they reached their apartment, nudging Alex's back to compel her to be the first through the door, just in case she had any bright ideas about refusing. But Alex possessed neither the strength nor sobriety to protest.

 

She heard the door shut behind her and the jingle of keys being dropped on the counter as she stumbled over to the couch, nearly tripping on her way there before collapsing down on top of it, releasing a deep groan of pain. Her eyelids flickered open enough that she could see Maggie still standing there by the door, looking at her coldly, her arms folded and her stance rigid.

 

“...I'm trying very hard not to be angry at you right now,” Maggie said to break the silence, keeping her voice calm, quiet and even, though a mixture of sternness, mistrust and disappointment crept through. "I have no idea what you were thinking."

 

“I wasn't. That was the point,” Alex mumbled through her hangover. Getting blitzed was supposed to delay her inevitable mental breakdown by turning her brain off and dulling her senses. That and it wasn't like she had anything else to do in this virtual reality but kill time.

 

Maggie sighed heavily, visibly biting her tongue. She could have snapped at Alex and vented at her for everything she'd put her through over these past few days, and it would have been warranted, but she chose not to take that route. “Talk to me, Alex. What's going on with you?” Maggie asked her upfront, recognising that something had been wrong for a while now.

 

“What do you mean what's going on?” Alex murmured blearily, fighting off her headache and nausea.

 

“I don't know, Alex, I just...Sometimes it feels like you don't really want to be here,” Maggie pointed out, gesturing vaguely at their surroundings, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders. That wasn't an attack or a judgement, just an observation.

 

Alex frowned. Maggie didn't realise how accurate that was.

 

“That's not because of you,” Alex professed entirely honestly, doing her best to sit up straight again, looking directly into Maggie's eyes in order to prove her sincerity, which was not the easiest feat given how terrible she felt. “I promise.”

 

“Good, then I won't be offended if you tell me about it,” Maggie replied, intent on listening to whatever had Alex so down. She knew Alex had been through a lot. She didn't want to be that asshole who got mad at her for acting out when what she really needed was support. However, it was obviously hard not to get frustrated when the woman she loved refused to let her in.

 

The problem was, how in the hell could Alex even begin to explain it?

 

"No, I can't," she muttered, releasing a groan, hugging her knees into her chest and letting her head fall against them, torn.

 

She had considered trying to show Maggie that the world wasn't real several times since she'd been here, but had always thought better of it. Even if she didn't end up suffering another brain injury as part of the simulation's efforts to silence her, Maggie wouldn't believe her – she'd just chalk it up to the concussion, or else the conversation would be erased so she never remembered Alex saying anything.

 

It was a cruel joke. Alex knew exactly what was wrong, and could have expressed it perfectly given the chance, but she couldn't state it out loud. Not even to Maggie - the person she trusted and cared about most in this world. The nanomachines made sure of it.

 

"Why not?" Maggie pressed, unable to reconcile this emotional distance between them.

 

"Because it's literally impossible for you to understand!" Alex insisted, still very drunk.

 

"Try me," Maggie dared her, boldly stepping closer, not about to back down that easily.

 

"I have!" said Alex, her breath beginning to catch and stutter as she spoke. "I have tried... _so_ many things. You can't even begin to..." In place of finishing that, Alex only shook her head and trailed off, realising it was pointless. She hung her head and linked her arms behind her neck, virtually curled into a ball there on the couch, trying in vain to quell both the turmoil in her stomach and the unstemmable tide of grief coursing through her like bile. She had made a huge mistake. She knew that now. Why hadn't she left when she had the chance?

 

Unless and until she got in contact with the outside world again, Alex had nobody to talk to about this - nobody to help her tackle the search for this android, or to remind her that she wasn't insane for perceiving the digital reality for what it was. That was the torturous part about being the lone soul cognisant of the truth. Even with Maggie by her side, Alex felt like she was in solitary confinement.

 

For all she knew, she might be bound to that fate forever.

 

“Alex, are you okay?” Maggie asked, disconcerted to see her sitting there like that, unable to respond. Alex forced herself to glance up at the sound of her voice, aware of the unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. Maggie's expression fell when she saw her distress. “Hey, come on. I'm here for you. I've always been here for you. Please tell me what's wrong?” she urged, joining her on the couch, touching her thigh.

 

That gentle contact did little else but remind Alex of exactly what she was ruining between them. Maggie was the sole source of happiness in her life over these past few weeks - the one, ambiguously good thing Alex had been able to hold onto - yet she was even screwing that up. At this rate, she was going to wind up pushing away the woman she loved before they even had a chance in the real world. Or maybe that shot at building something together had been stolen from her the second those machines got into Maggie's head.

 

What if there was no way out, once a person entered the mind-cloud? What if they were both effectively dead already, and they just didn't know it yet? What if ending this simulation would only kill them both? What if they had wasted their entire lives in the blink of an eye?

 

So many 'what if's circled in her mind, each more dire than the last, and all were entirely plausible.

 

Alex had no answers. She couldn't think, or speak. She just wanted it to stop - to go back before this began.

 

Emotions welled up in her chest. Her features contorted. Before she even knew it was going to happen, a tear cracked through the ice, and then another, her frail composure crumbling. There was nothing she could do to stop it. Alex broke down and began to cry.

 

“Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. I've got you...” Maggie instantly wrapped Alex up in her arms, guiding her to rest her head on her shoulder, stroking her back in comfort and consolation. She didn't ask anymore questions. She just let Alex pour it all out without judgement.

 

Alex didn't decline her embrace, hunching up against Maggie's smaller frame. Her body shook. It was a horrible feeling, to be so overcome by grief that the floodgates burst open, unable to hold it in any longer. She would have traded anything to stop that sorrow from wriggling beneath her skin, feeding her self-loathing, but everything had spiralled out of control and Alex had no idea how to fix it.

 

“Would you like me to stay home from work tomorrow?” Maggie asked. Alex was too torn up to voice her reply. She simply nodded her head against the crook of Maggie's neck. “Okay. I'll call in sick,” she agreed without a second thought. Alex was her top priority.

 

Alex spluttered and choked on her sobs, ashamed by her wretchedness. She didn't want to be like this. She didn't want to be in tears, or go out binge-drinking. She didn't want to be sullen and withdrawn, nor was she content with the way she'd treated Maggie lately. But this reality was messing with her mind. Alex barely even felt like the same person she'd been when she came in. She was starting to forget how it had ever felt to think with a clear head. The alcohol definitely wasn't improving matters.

 

She wasn't sure how long she wept for. It almost didn't seem like she would ever stop.

 

“Come here,” said Maggie, gently taking her hand, urging her to get up. Alex stifled a guttural sob and brushed her other arm across her face to eliminate the tear stains, but she complied, following Maggie where she led. It turned out the answer was to her bedroom. Even being as out of it as she was, Alex had the sense to be wary, conscious of all the reasons why this was wrong.

 

“Maggie...” Alex quietly cautioned her, uncomfortable with the idea of moving their relationship into that place. Even if Maggie consented to taking things further, Alex hadn't yet changed her view that she would be taking advantage of her fake memories by doing the same. Plus, she wasn't exactly sober herself. She wasn't sure how much of this she would remember in the morning.

 

“Don't worry; this isn't what you're thinking,” Maggie assured her with a shake of her head. “Lie down.”

 

Still a little hesitant, Alex did so, her breaths sharp and erratic as she fought to silence herself. Maggie lifted the blanket as she got onto the bed and lay down behind her, covering the two of them with it. Maggie then slipped her hands around Alex's waist and crossed her arms together over her chest, squeezing her tight as she snuggled up against her back, spooning her.

 

Alex's breath hitched again, comforted by the warmth of her unconditional embrace. Maggie's slight build was deceptive; her arms contained so much strength, or maybe that was her spirit. She held onto Alex like she was determined to protect her from demons who might steal her away in the night, enveloping her like she never wanted to let her go. Not until she knew she could stand on her own.

 

"Is this okay?" Maggie asked, making sure she hadn't crossed any lines.

 

“Yeah, it is,” Alex said sincerely. Not only was it okay, but Alex had needed this, more than she realised. This was that solace and connection that had been absent. Lying in Maggie's arms was the closest Alex had come in a long while to feeling whole. "Thank you."

 

"You don't ever have to thank me for anything," Maggie whispered. "I just want you to be happy."

 

Alex sniffed, regretting her callous behaviour towards her earlier. "I know. I'm sorry."

 

"It's okay," said Maggie, shaking off the need for an apology, but Alex meant it all the same.

 

She'd been lost before, adrift on a storm, and so caught up in the chaos that it made her forget what she knew before: Maggie was her shelter - her sanctuary. It was no mystery why pulling away from her had only succeeded in amplifying Alex's strife, but that was a mistake she wouldn't make twice. No matter what happened, Alex wouldn't turn her back on Maggie like that again.

 

With that thought in mind, Alex let her red eyes drift shut, soaking in the peace and tranquility that Maggie gave to her freely, and which she'd long craved. For the first time since she'd arrived in that virtual reality, Alex actually slept through the night.

 

* * *

 

**Monday, June 15, 2020**

 

Alex felt like death.

 

Scratch that, she thought; death would be significantly less painful.

 

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," Maggie greeted her, the bed depressing when she perched on the edge. "How are you feeling?"

 

Alex groaned heavily, holding her palm to her head in a futile effort to block out her brutal hangover. She regretted her life. She regretted her choices. "I hate...everything...ever...done by...anyone...ever," she grumbled. The simple act of existing was causing her pain.

 

"I made you coffee," said Maggie, holding out a mug.

 

"Except that," Alex corrected herself, gladly accepting it to ward off her headache. "You're a saint."

 

"Trying." Maggie smirked.

 

"I mean it, though," Alex mumbled, shifting to sit back against the headboard, managing to open her eyes a bit more to look at Maggie directly. "You've been so great. So supportive and... _tolerant_ , and I..." Haven't done anything to earn it, Alex thought.

 

She sighed, her mind barely working well enough to string a sentence together. God, there really weren't enough words in the English language to cover everything she had to apologise for, nor to convey the full extent of her gratitude. Even when Alex screwed up beyond measure, Maggie remained by her side, like a stalwart defender. Alex hardly deserved to have such a loyal champion.

 

If there was any justice in the world, it should have been the other way around. Alex owed her so much.

 

"I'm so sorry. I really am," Alex went on, nursing the hot coffee in her lap. "I know I'm a mess."

 

"You have every right to be a mess," Maggie quietly declared, watching Alex with a reassuring smile. "After what you've been through? Yeah, I'm not surprised. You don't need my permission to...not be okay with everything that's happened to you."

 

"But I've taken it out on you," Alex stated frankly, accepting her mistakes. The way she'd felt about her situation when it became apparent she might not be leaving this virtual reality any time soon wasn't the source of Alex's guilt, only her actions that followed. Her despondency had been justified; being cold towards Maggie wasn't. "That's not fair, and it's not what you signed up for."

 

"Actually, it kind of is," Maggie corrected, earning an odd look from Alex. "I knew there would be hard times after you got back from the hospital. I knew we might fight, and that you might lash out at me sometimes. And, no, it's not fun, but those bad moments are worth it. For you, they are. Just please don't try to do it all alone anymore? Or, at least, not to the extent that you drive yourself crazy," she requested, resting her hand on Alex's knee to emphasise her sincerity. "Let me be there for you instead of...suffering in silence."

 

"Would you be mad at me if I said I can't make any promises?" Alex muttered before taking another sip of coffee. Much as she never wanted to go ballistic like this again, Maggie still wasn't capable of registering that this world was fake. That issue hadn't vanished.

 

"No. But it would be nice if we could try doing things the other way," said Maggie. Alex couldn't disagree with that. The next thing she knew, Maggie leaned in to press a chaste kiss to her cheek, beneath her temple. "I love you, you know," she told her, gently brushing Alex's hair back behind her ear. "I always will. And not just because of what we used to be to each other. Because you're _you_."

 

Alex didn't quite know how to react, but for the fact that her heart felt like it had been replaced with butterflies. She wanted to believe Maggie. Desperately, she did. And that lingering echo of Maggie's lips against her skin gave Alex far more hope than ever before that perhaps there really could be something between them. In this world. In any world.

 

Maybe it wasn't so wrong.

 

Before Alex could think of anything to say, Maggie gently clapped her thigh and stood up. "Alright. Finish that, have a shower and get dressed. That's an order," Maggie remarked, not demanding, but making it plain that her instructions were to be followed all the same.

 

"Mmmm...Why?" Alex uttered amid a groan of complaint. She didn't have anything to do and Maggie was staying home from work to take care of her. Couldn't she just lie in bed and wait for this headache to go away? Why did she have to get up for any reason?

 

"You'll see," Maggie promised, deliberately vague, checking the bedside clock. "You have around forty-five minutes. Get to it."

 

"Do you always boss me around like this?" Alex asked, taking a drink of her coffee and rubbing her head in an effort to wake up.

 

"When you need to get your ass in gear," Maggie said through a wry smirk, hovering by the door a little longer. "Just for the record, you _liked_ it when I bossed you around. Especially in one context," she added, winking at Alex flirtatiously before leaving the room.

 

Alex tried to hide her blush, grinning despite the pain. “Yeah, I bet I did.”

 

If only that had actually been her. Someday, maybe it would be.

 

It was weird to think, but it felt like the dynamic between her and Maggie had gone back to where it was supposed to be - almost as if hitting her lowest point had brought them closer together. Alex had no mind to ever repeat that, but she certainly appreciated the outcome, especially since she'd been worried her behaviour might cost her Maggie. Instead, it had done the opposite.

 

Perhaps this was that love Maggie had spoken of. Alex had never really experienced romantic love before, whether giving or receiving. But she was pretty sure this was what it was supposed to feel like. Maggie had let her into her heart. Fully. Unconditionally. Whatever happened next between them, Alex was not going to take that for granted. She valued this far too much to squander it.

 

Even if it took a long time to get back to the real world, it was worth being patient. Maybe Alex couldn't actually be with Maggie in the simulation, but that was no excuse for nearly ruining the bond they shared. It was still the most precious thing Alex had.

 

And, if she nurtured this connection, maybe something like this would be waiting for them both when they got out. Who knew? Over time, Maggie might genuinely come to love the real Alex as much as she loved her old one. Wouldn't that be nice?

 

Alex exhaled contentedly at the thought, finishing the last of her coffee.

 

Despite her misgivings, Alex eventually chose to heed Maggie's instructions, having a shower and getting dressed just as she had been told to, though her hangover made everything she did a good fifty percent slower than usual. She got it done on time, though.

 

"Okay. Here I am," Alex announced when she finally emerged from the bedroom, appropriately presentable. She hadn't hidden the dark circles around her eyes or anything, but that hadn't been part of the deal. Maggie glanced back at her from the couch, switching off the news and getting to her feet, an empty bowl of cereal in hand. "Whatever this is about, I hope this is worth it."

 

Maggie shrugged as she put her dirty bowl in the sink. "That's up to you, but I think you're going to think so."

 

"Hmmph. I like to think my own thoughts," Alex remarked as she leaned on the kitchen counter, not convinced.

 

"Oh, I know," Maggie commented, as if she'd learned that the hard way. Alex gave her a light thwack on the arm, playfully chastising her. "Okay, okay. Seriously," Maggie began, composing herself and facing Alex once more. “While you were...out, I had a lot of time to think about why you've been so unhappy lately. And I realised I'm part of the reason,” she remorsefully conceded.

 

“What?” Alex recoiled at that assertion. “No. No, you're not. That's not true at all.”

 

“Please.” Maggie raised a hand to cut Alex's protestations off, having already accepted what she was saying. Alex adhered to her unspoken request, letting her finish. Maggie quietly cleared her throat before continuing. “The thing is, I've been so focused on what I can do for you that I forgot you don't just need me in your life. You need your family. Your friends. I never asked because I...sort of assumed you'd been staying in touch with them while I was out at work, but...you haven't been talking to them, have you?”

 

Alex narrowed her gaze briefly. Well, she couldn't claim Maggie was wrong. "...No, I haven't," Alex cautiously acknowledged. She couldn't speak to them because her headset had stopped working when she sped up time, leaving her cut off from the rest of the people she cared about. Not that Maggie would ever believe her if she told her that was the reason. It sounded absurd without prior knowledge.

 

If nothing else, Maggie seemed glad that Alex had turned a new leaf and decided to be honest with her at last. “See, that's why you're so disconnected," she pointed out, her theories confirmed. "So, anyway, I got in contact with them over the weekend, and I...”

 

There was a knock at the door before Maggie could finish.

 

Alex stood up a little straighter, glancing at the door, then back at Maggie, not sure what to make of this. In place of saying anything, Maggie responded with an optimistic expression, gesturing for her to go and answer it, hoping this was what Alex needed.

 

Uneasy though she was, Alex went to unlock the door, opening it to find Kara beaming back at her.

 

“Hey, Alex! Our plane got in ten minutes early!” Kara brightly announced, much to Alex's bewilderment.

 

"...You're not..." Before Alex could process it, the fake Kara darted forward and engulfed her in a mighty hug. Her projection was so realistic that Alex even felt the air get slightly knocked out of her, as often happened when her super-strong sister was overeager.

 

"Oh, sorry." Kara backed off when she realised she'd squeezed too hard, looking nervously over at Maggie for a split-second to make sure she hadn't noticed. “I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you when you were recovering from your head injury.”

 

Alex blinked at her, too stunned to comprehend this, let alone work out what the appropriate reaction was. After all, this wasn't really Kara, was it? It couldn't be, unless something had gone horribly wrong in the outside world. No, that wasn't likely. Alex had to consciously stop and remind herself that this was just an illusion; the neural network had constructed a fake Kara from her thoughts and memories.

 

Yes, that made sense. Of course it would have done that. Alex had seen all too well that this simulation was based on the lives, experiences and wants of the people inside it. Therefore, how could it possibly construct a world for Alex that didn't have her sister in it?

 

Following that thought, Alex furrowed her brow. Wait a second. Reading memories like that was what the mind-cloud did to the victims of the nanomachines, which Alex ostensibly wasn't. Was it supposed to do that with her too? Was that a bad sign?

 

Well, it occurred to her that, in a way, it already had tapped into her mind several times before. Winn's program had unmistakably used Alex's memories to construct things like the bar and Maggie's physical appearance in great detail within the simulation, and the cloud could respond to her thoughts to make her jump to different locations. Why couldn't it also use her mind to make a carbon copy of Kara?

 

“You going to answer your sister, Alex?” Maggie prompted her, amused by her shocked silence.

 

“...Y-Yeah, of course,” Alex replied, summoning a false smile, masking how unsettled she felt with being forced to speak to a mere illusion of her sister. “Sorry, Kara, I just...I...I wasn't expecting to see you,” she explained, trying her best to act normal, for Maggie's sake.

 

“That's sort of the point of a surprise,” Kara cheerfully remarked. Her smile soon fell, though, her brows crinkling behind her glasses as she took in the sight of her sister. "Wait, what's going on? Why do you look so...blarghy?" asked Kara, concerned.

 

"Oh. That. Um. Yeah." Alex guiltily cleared her throat, still contending with pain right behind her eyes.

 

"Are you hungover?" said Kara, scrutinising her.

 

"Sorry." Alex shrugged, confirming it.

 

Kara gave her a light thwack on the arm. "Alex, you dummy," she chided her in worry, drawing out her name, pouting at her. "That's dangerous! You could have...passed out and hit your head again," she cautioned her, genuinely upset with the thought of that.

 

Alex eyed her strangely, a little creeped out. Yeah, this simulation had definitely got Kara down perfectly. As it should have, given that it was drawing directly from Alex's own memories. Except it was so accurate that it was honestly disturbing. It was difficult to believe that this was nothing more than a projection, and not a sign that the real Kara had been affected by the virus.

 

“I wish I could have come back sooner,” Kara continued, evidently blaming herself for the fact that she hadn't been there to keep Alex company and stop her from going off the deep end when she had so clearly needed her. “But I'm back from Metropolis for good, now. My work there is done! And I can make up for being such a crummy sister lately,” she remarked apologetically, lightly rubbing Alex's arm.

 

“Hey, don't forget about me,” another person spoke from the hallway. Alex's heart leapt into her throat, her blood running cold as she froze on the spot. She knew that voice. But it couldn't be. "Sorry. The elevator was broken, and not all of us are so good with stairs."

 

Alex didn't even blink, her eyes wide open as she watched a familiar, smiling face step into view behind Kara, his hand resting on the door frame. “...Dad?” Alex all but whimpered when she saw him, suddenly finding it incredibly hard to breathe.

 

“Who else would I be?” Jeremiah wryly replied.

 

She couldn't believe it. He was...He was _there_. Alive. Healthy. Happy.

 

Alex couldn't contain herself. Tears spilled from her eyes as she shot forward and practically flung herself at her Dad, swallowing him up in a tight hug, burying herself in his coat. She wept like she'd never wept before, drowning in a deluge of conflicting emotions.

 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey," he said, his arms compassionately curling around her, recognising that her response was serious. He held her gently, letting her cry on his shoulder. "It's okay, Alex. It's okay," he promised her, running a hand through her hair, just like he used to when she was younger. Apart from looking a good fifteen years older, he hadn't changed a bit.

 

It was him. Jeremiah Danvers. Just as Alex remembered him.

 

She knew it wasn't real. She knew it was just a simulation. She knew. But Alex didn't care, because it had been damn near half her lifetime since she'd seen him. She'd dreamt of this moment for so long. And this was the closest she'd ever come to having her father back.

 

"I never stopped thinking of you when you were gone," she told him, her breath hitching through her tears. "I love you so much, Dad."

 

"I love you too, Alex," he said, cradling her against his chest. "You're never going to lose me again. I swear."


	4. Loading...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex makes the best of her situation in the mind-cloud and Maggie reveals an unexpected truth about her past. Meanwhile, when Kara, Winn and J'onn try to bring Alex back to the real world, it soon becomes apparent that they underestimated the danger of sending her into the simulation.

“Alex...” Kara's face contorted, visibly pained by her sister's unexpected reaction.

 

“You didn't...” Maggie halted and trailed off mid-sentence, the realisation washing over her. “Memory loss. I didn't stop to think, I...” She shook her head and sighed, running a hand through her hair, kicking herself. It had plainly never occurred to her that Alex didn't know of her father's return, unaware that she had legitimately gone this long without speaking to her family whatsoever.

 

“Don't blame yourself; it's not your fault,” Jeremiah assured Maggie, rubbing Alex's back as she wept, her tears slowly drying up after being bombarded by that initial flood of overwhelming emotions. Alex didn't release her grip on his arms even as she drew back to look at him, afraid that her projection of her Dad would vanish into thin air if she removed her fingers from his coat.

 

“How did you get here?” was the first thing Alex thought to ask, her mind at once blank and roaring with a hurricane of noise.

 

“You freed me from Cadmus about two years ago, remember?” Immediately after he said that, Jeremiah caught himself, recognising his error. “What am I saying? Of course you don't.” Alex stood in awe. The emotion on his face was so real. Subtle. Detailed. It amazed her to think that there wasn't a genuine person behind it. "I am...a smart man, in some respects, but I ask dumb questions."

 

“It's okay,” Alex told him, almost operating on autopilot when she spoke, her voice a hoarse, hollow whisper. Jeremiah didn't need to apologise to her. He was her father; nothing he did could ever diminish how much she loved him, even if he was an illusion.

 

That hurt to admit - to know that she couldn't even pretend that Jeremiah Danvers' consciousness might actually be there inside the simulation with her. There was no chance of that. None. He was a just a very persuasive lie, sprung from her mind. Yet that didn't make Alex's conflicted feelings any less intense. The effect this was having on her was...beyond compare. And that was no delusion.

 

“When you said 'amnesia', I'm guessing this is what you meant,” said Kara, looking over at Maggie. It was made manifest by her gaze that she'd had no idea as to the extent of it prior to this point, likely presuming that Alex's condition had been much milder. “How bad is it?”

 

“A little over three years before the accident,” Maggie answered. Kara's eyes widened. Jeremiah's jaw momentarily went slack. Upon glimpsing their expressions, Maggie's shoulders slumped under a heartbroken aura, her spirit crushed by the weight of her mistakes. This whole miscommunication could have been avoided if she hadn't inadvertently contributed to it. “I didn't realise you didn't know.”

 

"I...I knew she had a concussion, but she got out of the hospital so fast that I didn't even have time to quit my assignment in Metropolis," Kara stammered, panic creeping into her tone, recognising how much worse that made her absence. "Alex, I'm sorry. I hope you know I wanted to be here by your side after I heard what happened but, once you woke up, it sounded like you were recovering so well."

 

"She was. She is," Maggie replied. "That's why I urged you not to drop everything and race over here like that; I could take care of her by myself. But I can't believe I...Did I _forget_ to tell you about her memory loss? I could have sworn I..." Maggie trailed off, struggling to recall.

 

Poor Maggie, Alex thought, guessing the past had been altered. This had never been under her control.

 

“Really, don't be mad at her." Alex sniffed and wiped her eyes, trying to make herself vaguely presentable. “Maggie thought I'd been in contact with you, and I never led her to suspect otherwise. I should have called you,” she admitted, though she didn't actually care. Her apology wasn't aimed at Jeremiah or Kara (what with both them and this entire world being nothing more than an elaborate deception) but rather at Maggie, because she wasn't a lie. It only seemed fair that Alex should take responsibility in order to spare her feelings.

 

“No, Alex; you were hurt, clearly even worse than we expected,” Kara insisted with the utmost compassion, refusing to hear her sister beat herself up when no one in their right mind would have held her accountable. "You were in no state to manage on your own."

 

“Kara's right,” said Jeremiah, gripping Alex's shoulders to make sure she met his eyes. “If anyone has an excuse for not making rational decisions lately, it's you. We can't claim the same. The onus was on us to take those steps; we should have found out what was going on.”

 

“Dad...” Alex's lower lip quivered, pity in her stare. Fake or not, it hurt to hear him believe he was at fault.

 

“Listen, it's been a big morning. Why don't you all come in and sit down?” Maggie suggested, sensing Alex needed that. Alex reckoned she must have looked faint; she felt like her legs were about to wobble and give out beneath her. "We can continue this inside."

 

"Good idea," Jeremiah agreed, appreciating Maggie's sensitivity. He was practically holding Alex up as the last of her tears subsided.

 

“Sorry it's kind of cramped; the bed's taking up all the room where the coffee table used to be, but I could move everything around for you if you need me to clear up some more space,” Maggie explained, eager to be a good host. No doubt she didn't believe such minute gestures would atone for her actions, but she seemed determined to do at least one thing for Alex and her family without screwing it up.

 

“We flew economy. Compared to that, I'll be delighted if I can even move my legs at all,” Jeremiah remarked.

 

“Can I get you anything?” Maggie offered. “I haven't got much, but I'm sure you could use a bite to eat and something to drink.”

 

“That would be great, thanks,” Jeremiah affirmed. He placed an arm around Alex, letting her lean on him as they both went in. Dazed though she was, Alex complied, her mind numb and her ears ringing as her father guided her into the living room.

 

“Here, Maggie; let me help,” Kara piped up as she shut the door behind her.

 

“You just got off a plane, Kara,” Maggie politely reminded her. “Go make yourself at home; you're my guest.”

 

“It's fine. I want to,” Kara happily assured her, putting down her bag and joining Maggie in the small kitchen despite her protestations. It was no secret that her insistence on being useful was largely just out of courtesy, recognising that Alex and Jeremiah deserved a moment to catch up in relative privacy, to the extent that they could, given the size of the apartment. Alex was grateful for it.

 

Her fingers were still shaking when she sat down, jumbled thoughts cascading into an incoherent cacophony. Alex could scarcely process this shocking turn of events. She didn't know where to begin, nor could she figure out exactly how she was supposed to feel about her unforeseen reunion with this false yet incredibly convincing construct of her father. Forming even a single cohesive thought was a task and a half given the disheveled state of her mind, and the pervasive hangover persistently pounding behind her eyes.

 

Should she be sad? Happy? Hurt? All those things and more at once? Whatever the correct response was, Alex's body had unambiguously chosen to go with the latter, along with a hefty dose of nausea. The blood in her veins felt as thin as water.

 

Her Dad took up a seat opposite her, with the coffee table between them. The morning newspaper lay flat on the glass surface, unread. As she looked across at his face, all Alex could think about was the real Jeremiah, off somewhere with Cadmus. Alex wasn't sure if he was safe, or being harmed, or brainwashed. So was it wrong to feel any semblance of...relief that this imposter had arrived?

 

“You okay, there, kiddo?” Jeremiah asked her, worried about Alex's condition, and her bewildered silence.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” Alex waved a hand to dismiss any concern. She could pull herself together. Even if she couldn't feel her limbs.

 

“Of course you are; you were always the strongest of us. Too strong for your own good,” Jeremiah told her, speaking with the same fondness and affinity that had permeated his tone whenever Alex was upset over any of the frivolous things that could reduce a child to tears. “You'd never let anyone else carry you. You always had to stand on your own two feet, even when your leg was literally broken.”

 

Alex laughed despite the ambivalent mixture of emotions churning away in her chest. “Yeah, I remember that,” she said, a genuine smile on her face. “Mom didn't believe you when you suspected a fracture. She was convinced you were just overreacting.”

 

“Because how on Earth does a seven-year-old girl break her leg without leaving her room?” Jeremiah replied in good cheer, uplifted to see Alex's spirits buoyed by that shared memory. "That doesn't happen by accident; that took effort."

 

“Look, I thought I'd balanced those toys perfectly!” Alex insisted. It had been such a long time since she even thought about that incident. “I needed my chemistry set off the top shelf. I wasn't expecting the stack to crumble underneath me.”

 

“I still can't work out how you went the whole afternoon in that much pain without saying anything.” Jeremiah shook his head, clucking his tongue at his daughter's stubbornness, as if that quality had barely changed in her since that age. “You were pale as a ghost when you came downstairs for dinner. No, not even pale, you were _green!_ No wonder you threw up; you'd been limping on it all day.”

 

“Well, I didn't want you to get mad when you found out,” Alex replied.

 

Jeremiah grinned. “Right, instead you just...”

 

“Missed out on the whole Summer because I was in a cast,” Alex finished on his behalf, allowing the sorrow and grief in her heart to be swept away. This was him. It was recreating her Dad's personality precisely as she'd known it, in every conceivable facet.

 

In that moment, Alex decided it didn't matter that it was only an illusion. Not as much as she thought it would. This was her memory of her Dad – a fully realised echo of who he had been. That was real enough for Alex. At least for now, anyway.

 

Kara had her hologram of Alura at the DEO, didn't she? There had never been any shame in Kara taking comfort in that recording of her mother. Why should Alex feel any differently about this? It was essentially the same thing. Alex didn't have to confuse him for the real Jeremiah to find both solace and joy in the act of speaking with him; his presence was just a reflection of how much she loved her Dad.

 

Besides, his projection wasn't doing any harm. If anything, it was helping Alex prepare for the future - for when she met her actual father again. She could use this time to crystalise her own recollection and sharpen her memories by accessing details buried in her subconscious that she once thought lost or forgotten. That was worthwhile, wasn't it? Why shouldn't she accept those positive aspects before she left?

 

Given that this was bound to be fleeting, it only made sense to appreciate this opportunity while it lasted.

 

However, that did not translate to the imposter Kara. Alex found her a lot...creepier.

 

Upon that, her gaze drifted past Jeremiah, towards her fake sister. This Kara was not filling a void in Alex's life, like the construct of Jeremiah. There was no benefit to be gained from interacting with her. So what was she doing here? The only explanation was that the network must have thought it could fool Alex into believing she was real, a fact which made the uncanny accuracy of the false Kara even more disturbing.

 

If this simulation was the web, then Kara was the spider. Every innocent, loving smile was designed to ensnare Alex into a trap. It was impossible for Alex to see it otherwise. But did the false Kara have the faintest clue that was her purpose? Did she have anything resembling thoughts or awareness? Could she even be said to exist? Or was she as much of an empty vessel as the hollowest projections?

 

"Are you alright?" Alex overheard Kara talking to Maggie, her voice quiet but perceptible, despite being across the room. Alex wondered if that was the simulation allowing her to listen in, enhancing her hearing. She chose to test it out by concentrating on their conversation.

 

"I should be asking you that; I'm not the one who just found out my sister doesn't remember the past three and a half years," Maggie pointed out, switching on the coffee machine. "I really am sorry. This isn't like me, to be so...neglectful. Or I thought it wasn't anymore," she said, visibly disturbed by her carelessness. "I always try to think of the consequences of my behaviour, but maybe I haven't changed."

 

"Hey, don't be like that." Kara nudged her, compelling Maggie to make eye contact with her. "Everyone makes mistakes."

 

"Yeah, but the world isn't built on good intentions, is it?" Maggie countered, not comforted by Kara's efforts to console her, nor prepared to accept forgiveness even when it was freely offered. "Regret doesn't erase your actions, or the harm that flows from them. You can't just absolve yourself when you realise you did the wrong thing; you have to live with it, no matter how much you wish you could go back and fix it."

 

Kara sent Maggie a sympathetic stare while her back was turned, as if she was well aware of the source of her guilt.

 

Alex wasn't surprised that she was taking her error personally. Behind her laid-back attitude and the carefree charms people perceived at a first glance, Maggie was one of the most grounded, responsible and considerate people Alex had ever met. If she was ever reckless, it was only with her own safety in the pursuit of protecting everyone else. Maggie was always determined to do the right thing, no exceptions, but particularly with regard to others, to the point where sheer selflessness often seemed to be her driving motivation.

 

It was no mystery how hard Maggie was taking her perceived failure, even if she was likely to hide it behind her mask like she usually did when she was upset. She genuinely believed she was at fault. Unfortunately, Alex couldn't remedy that without explaining that Maggie couldn't remedy this if she tried because none of it was real, and the Kara and Jeremiah she saw before her didn't exist.

 

Worse yet, this was all because of Alex, wasn't it? Another problem inadvertently created by her entry into the mind-cloud. A disruption that had to be rectified. Yet again, Maggie bore the brunt of it. As if Alex hadn't already made Maggie miserable enough with the whole amnesia narrative, or by running off on a bender these last few days. Unintentional or not, all she seemed to bring Maggie was unhappiness.

 

Her heart ached to think of how much suffering had been caused as a result of her presence in this simulation. It made Alex wonder if Maggie almost would have been better off if she'd never interfered in her virtual life to begin with, leaving her in blissful ignorance.

 

By coming into the mind-cloud, Alex hadn't succeeded in reducing Maggie's ignorance, but she'd done a mighty fine job of diminishing the bliss. Alex didn't deserve her love or her patience. She never had. At this rate, she wouldn't blame Maggie for figuring that out too.

 

“You really forgive me?” Jeremiah asked, breaking the short silence, his eyebrows upturned as if to say 'please'.

 

“For what?” said Alex, her attention shifting back from her distraction. He hadn't done anything wrong.

 

“It never crossed my mind to suspect that the reason you weren't contacting me was because you didn't remember freeing me from Cadmus. I figured it was because you felt fine and didn't want us hovering over you while you recovered. But if I had any idea your injury was that severe...” He trailed off and shook his head, unable to believe he'd made that mistake. “I should have put it together; I'm such an idiot.”

 

“No, you're not,” Alex replied, compassion in her eyes. Illusion or not, Alex could never be angry with her Dad.

 

“I am,” Jeremiah insisted, maintaining his apologetic smile. “If this wasn't my first time seeing you since the accident, I would have known about your amnesia a long time ago. What kind of father doesn't come to check on his daughter after she's been in hospital?”

 

“Well, with my line of work, you'd be here a lot if you had to jump on a plane every time I got hurt," Alex pointed out. Kara too, but she didn't feel comfortable mentioning her secret identity in front of Maggie. "Besides, it's not like I called you and Mom to fill you in. As far as you knew, it wasn't a serious concussion." Alex paused, a flicker of hesitation crossing her features. “You...You do live with Mom, right?”

 

“Yes,” he confirmed, amused by that question being one of the first things Alex wanted to know.

 

“Oh. Good.” Alex breathed a small sigh of relief. Her parents were back together. She had hoped that would happen, since learning her Dad was alive. Then she stopped, realising her wishes were precisely the reason why events were playing out that way.

 

These weren't her parents. Their actions inside the simulation had no bearing on what might happen in the real world. Although, given that these constructs were based on Alex's memories, maybe they did hold water; maybe they were as accurate as any prediction of future occurrences based on past behaviours could be. Ugh, it was so confusing. Thinking about it only worsened her headache.

 

“That doesn't excuse anything,” Jeremiah continued. “I should have come here. When you didn't get back in touch after leaving the hospital, I should have taken it as a sign things were wrong, rather than a sign things were okay. Instead, I chose to remain ignorant.”

 

“Yeah, um...That's...That's my fault,” Maggie spoke up, raising her hand, reluctant to interrupt their father-daughter bonding session, but doing so all the same, since it was warranted in this case. “Like Kara said, Alex was in no state to remember to call you, or check her emails. I should have kept you all informed about her progress. It was irresponsible of me to assume she'd done it after I stopped.”

 

“No, no.” Jeremiah shook his head, perishing the thought that Maggie considered herself the villain in this scenario. “You had a lot on your plate after the accident. You weren't thinking clearly. That's why we all should have banded together to support you and Alex.”

 

“Which you couldn't do because I didn't tell you enough,” Maggie pointed out.

 

"But we should have offered you a hand right away," Jeremiah countered, Kara's expression reflecting her agreement as she assisted Maggie in the kitchen. "We're family, you know? It's our job to be here when something happens, not to sit and wait to be asked."

 

“Fine. Let's settle this; we're all blamed, and we're all forgiven. Okay?” Alex cut them both off, looking between everyone to make sure they were on the same page. There was no sense wasting time playing 'I am Spartacus' over who was at fault, since the fact that this was nothing more than a simulation rendered that question utterly meaningless. “Everyone good with that?”

 

“I vote in favour of this policy,” Kara chimed in, sharing Alex's mindset. “Also, these cookies. They're really good,” she added, chewing on one as she spoke, but then belatedly remembering her table manners mid-bite, having momentarily forgotten she wasn't supposed to talk with her mouth full. "Sorry," she said, covering her face with her hand in an effort to stop crumbs from falling everywhere.

 

“Take as many as you want,” Maggie encouraged, stepping out of the kitchen. “There's plenty to go around.”

 

“Thank you, Maggie,” said Jeremiah when she put down a cup of coffee for him.

 

“It's nice to meet you, finally,” Maggie remarked, sitting down on the couch beside Alex with her own mug. “Don't take this the wrong way but, after a while, I thought you and Eliza just didn't approve of me.” Alex arched her brow, curious. If that was a joke, why did it sound like Maggie wasn't entirely kidding? It was odd to imagine her being insecure about something like that. What was there to dislike about her?

 

“Well, I hope this dispels that notion; you're part of the family, even if we've been distant,” Jeremiah assured her, dismissing her worries.

 

"You've never seen each other in person?" Alex queried them, threading the tapestry together.

 

"Never really had the chance," Jeremiah answered, as if powerless to alter fate. "I had to lay low for a year after escaping Cadmus. It wasn't safe for me to be out in the open. Once that died down, Eliza and I wanted to come visit you all, or we'd invite you over, but..."

 

"Something always came up,” Maggie confirmed, remembering that in much the same tone that someone spoke about the curse of inevitability. "One of us got sick, or crazy weather grounded all the flights, or I had a..." Maggie hesitated, swallowing, "...family thing."

 

“Or an alien attacked,” Kara piped up as she joined Jeremiah on his side of the coffee table, putting down a plate of light snacks while nibbling on another cookie herself. Her exasperated expression made it plain that Supergirl had primarily been the one left to deal with that category of events when they struck. "It was like they deliberately waited to target the city on dates that would cancel our plans."

 

That wasn't true, Alex thought, her brain no longer spinning at a thousand miles a minute, gradually calming to these strange circumstances. The reason Maggie had never met Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers in the past three years was because she had never interacted with them in real life. She had no memories of them for the simulation to forge constructs from, nor did any of the other victims.

 

“But, anyway, that's all over now,” Jeremiah informed her, turning the page to begin a new chapter.

 

"What's over?" said Alex, noticing Kara unfurl a gleeful grin at her question, as if she could barely contain the secret.

 

“Us being so far apart. There's still some paperwork to sort out but, starting three weeks from today, Eliza and I will have a permanent residence right here in National City,” Jeremiah declared with genuine enthusiasm. "We're putting the Danvers family back together."

 

Alex's eyes bulged with shock at his abrupt announcement. “Wait, you're moving here?”

 

“That's great!” Maggie responded, pleased with the unexpected good news. “You didn't mention that over the phone.”

 

“Eh, guilty as charged. I wanted it to be a surprise,” Jeremiah light-heartedly confessed, shrugging. "Eliza got a very generous offer from UCNC. She liked the idea of conducting her research there, and teaching aspiring young minds. We talked it over, and I decided that this was the universe telling me to go ahead and make the change I knew I needed in my own life; I'm taking up a position at the DEO."

 

“Mostly an advisory position,” Kara clarified, as if Jeremiah was getting a little ahead of himself. “This is sort of his retirement.”

 

“Hey, come on; I'm not that old,” Jeremiah feigned offence, protesting the implication that he was in the 'winding down' stage of his life. “I've still got a solid five to ten working years left in me. As long as they don't expect to see me outside of a lab too often, anyway.”

 

“Why would you want to join the DEO?” Alex asked, her stare narrowing, not sure where this was coming from. It was a strange sign when a projection of her father sourced directly from her own memories was taking an action Alex thought contrary to his nature.

 

“This isn't the same DEO that conscripted me before,” Jeremiah explained, sensing the cause of her misgivings about this alliance. “J'onn is a truly great man. He took an organisation that was once no better than Cadmus and turned it into something I'm proud to be a part of. Plus, I'm not going to lie, part of me just wanted the chance to work with you,” he stated without pretence, looking directly at Alex. “I may be a scientist, but I'm a father first. After all these years, I want to make up for the time we lost.”

 

A heartfelt yet bittersweet smile fell across Alex's face. “Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it?” she said wistfully, gazing across the table at her Dad. She hadn't given up hope that they might yet have a chance to do that in the real world, once they set him free.

 

“Oh, speaking of which, I should show you the new house,” Jeremiah excitedly began, reaching into his pocket for his smartphone. Kara groaned, her arms slumping in dread as she held onto her half-eaten cookie. “What?”

 

“Please don't get him started on the house,” Kara jokingly pleaded with them. “It is literally all he and Eliza talk about anymore.”

 

Maggie's ears perked up, ignoring Kara. “You bought a new house here already?”

 

“Well, it won't be official until we close the escrow,” Jeremiah conceded. "It's just a matter of completing the transaction, at this stage. Sorting out finances, final inspections, all of that fun stuff. It's the other part of the reason why I flew in – to manage as much as I could here in person with the agents. That's also why Eliza couldn't make it; our house isn't ready to be put up for sale yet.”

 

“She sends her apologies, by the way,” Kara spoke up, not forgetting that she would have a lot to tell her foster mother. “She would have loved to be here, but she's just so busy organising everything ahead of the move. You should call her when you get the chance.”

 

“I will,” Alex promised. Even if this wasn't real, there was no sense in antagonising her false family. It wouldn't achieve anything, and it would only backfire on Maggie. Why make her life more difficult? Besides, it would be nice to hear her Mom's voice again, simulated or not.

 

“How did you end up buying a house when you haven't been here?” Maggie asked. Alex took a cookie, equally curious as to the story the neural network had concocted. It wasn't normally so...elaborate. “You didn't do it sight unseen, did you? Because that's a recipe for disaster.”

 

“That's what I wanted to show you,” Jeremiah enthused, much to Kara's mock-dismay; this was exactly what she'd told them to avoid. “They have this neat technology that creates a virtual dollhouse where prospective buyers can look through a three-dimensional photo collage of the property. If you have an Apple TV, I can bring it up on the big screen. It'll be like you're there!”

 

"They should hire you to give the sales pitch,” said Kara, lightly chastising her adoptive father. “I'm sorry, Jeremiah. I know how much you love the house, but I don't think this is what Alex and Maggie were interested in doing with us when they invited us over.”

 

Maggie tilted her head, briefly meeting eyes with Alex. “Actually...” she began, kind of tempted.

 

“What, you are?” asked Kara, scrunching up her brow in puzzlement, wondering whether or not Maggie was merely playing along for Jeremiah's sake as part of her efforts to atone for how poorly she'd handled Alex's amnesia. "I mean, it's just...it's a house."

 

Maggie groaned and hung her head. "Yep, I'm at that stage of my thirties already; I'm legitimately fascinated by real estate,” she admitted, as if that sealed the type of person she had become. Alex chuckled at the victorious grin Maggie's comment earned from Jeremiah, even if she had sounded like she was halfway to digging her own grave, resigned to getting older. “Alright, come on, I'll help you set up the TV.”

 

“Excellent. See? I knew we'd get along perfectly.” Jeremiah gently clapped Maggie on the shoulder as he got to his feet, secretly giving Alex a thumbs up when Maggie's back was turned as if to say he approved of her immensely.

 

With both of them preoccupied with setting up gadgetry, Kara sighed wearily and popped over to the other couch, sitting beside Alex, listening to Jeremiah shift their discussion towards his and Eliza's plans for renovating (for which Maggie was also a low-key amateur enthusiast). "Well, they're having fun," Alex dryly observed, amused by Kara's apparent exhaustion with this.

 

“Did you know that I have seen this presentation about six times in the two days I spent at their house on the way back from Metropolis? Don't say that I didn't give you fair warning,” Kara remarked. No wonder she wasn't looking forward to it, Alex thought.

 

"How boring is it?" Alex asked, braced for the tedium.

 

"I'm pretty sure there have been UN resolutions passed that make it an illegal form of torture. Maybe that's just because this is so not my thing." Kara picked up yet another snack from the plate. “I hope Maggie isn't humouring him about finding this interesting because, trust me, she will not be able to stop him once he gets going. I have tried; it is impossible. And I can stop freight trains.”

 

“Are you kidding? She loves this stuff," Alex answered, accepting the cheese and crackers Kara handed her. “Give Maggie a power drill and she will personally install every shelf in their house to an industrial standard. Although, you should have seen her with the IKEA bed back there. If you ever thought they were supposed to be easy to assemble, they are not. It took her, like, eight hours.”

 

Kara snorted, finding that funny to imagine. “At least I finally know what to get her for her birthday.”

 

“Don't encourage her. I like our apartment when it's nice and peaceful and not covered in plastic sheets,” said Alex, imploring Kara not to subject her to that. “Plus, if you think Dad's bad now, imagine what it will be like when they combine forces.”

 

“What horror have we unleashed?” Kara snickered, letting her head drop back against the sofa. “You aren't like this, are you?”

 

“No. Not yet. Although I am starting to form strong opinions on colour palettes, so give it a few years," Alex jokingly forewarned, taking that as an omen of things to come later in her life. "But if it goes on too long for us to tolerate, there's a really nice coffee place down on the corner,” Alex told Kara in a conspiratorial whisper. “If we need to, we can sneak out and leave them to—“

 

Alex stopped. What was she doing? This wasn't Kara, but it replicated her characteristics so well that she'd unconsciously fallen into the pattern of speaking to her as though she were real. It was jarring; it made Alex feel like another oblivious doll in this twisted playhouse.

 

Normally, the mind-cloud was flat and shallow, apart from real victims like Maggie, but that didn't describe Kara or Jeremiah. Where once the artifice used to be glaring, this charade was thoroughly detailed and cohesive. Perhaps that was because Alex was interacting with projections drawn from her own mind, rather than other people's. Maybe she was right to find that disconcerting.

 

“What?” Kara prompted, not sure why Alex had frozen all of a sudden.

 

Alex blinked, realising she'd spaced out. “Sorry. I'm just...My head still hurts.”

 

“Because you've been drinking,” Kara added, cutting some cheese off the snack plate and spreading it on a cracker. Alex sent a harmless glare at her. Kara didn't retract her observation. “Look, I'm not planning to hassle you about it in front of Jeremiah and Maggie, mainly because I'm sure she already did that for me, but you know why that's bad, Alex. I'm not going to pretend I can ignore it.”

 

“You don't have to,” Alex told her, seeing no sense in letting Kara stew on it, even if she was a fake one. “I know it was a stupid thing to do. I was...self-destructing and acting out, but I know that's not the answer to my problems. It's not going to happen again.”

 

“Promise?” Kara asked, looking her in the eye to make sure Alex meant that.

 

“I promise,” Alex avowed, and it was an honest oath. Caught in this simulation as she was, Alex gained nothing by clinging onto denial and bitterness. Lashing out at her surroundings was petty and futile. She had to accept the hand fate had dealt her and adapt.

 

Her situation wasn't wholly unbearable, either, a fact which Alex could appreciate in hindsight. After all, she had Maggie, didn't she? And Alex had no desire to hurt her more than she already had. Besides, she wouldn't be able to figure out how to escape the mind-cloud from the inside if she persisted with the counterproductive attitude and behaviours that had nearly driven her insane.

 

It might be a long time before the others contacted her again, if they ever could. Alex had come to acknowledge that, rather than resisting it or despairing over it. Whilst she remained bound to this world, the only way she could survive was to learn to live with it, and do what she could to make her time in there more comfortable. Her prior hostility wasn't fueling anything but misery.

 

Jeremiah had called her strong, hadn't he? Alex was determined to prove him right; she was not easily defeated. Laying down her arms wasn't surrendering, but rather a sensible strategy - fighting smarter, not harder. Better that than dwelling on how much she craved reality.

 

Alex firmly believed that she would see the outside world again someday. But, until then, she had to be resilient.

 

Kara's expression softened, taking in her sister's grim expression. “...I'm not mad at you for it,” she admitted, resting her elbow on the back of the couch, shifting to sit a bit more sideways, facing Alex. "I mean, I am, sort of, but...that's more at myself than you."

 

“Sorry?” said Alex, pulled out of her roaming thoughts.

 

“The more I learn about how serious your condition was, the more I realise how hard it must have been for you. Getting hurt. Losing your memories. This whole, ongoing recovery. And you had to bear that without me,” Kara acknowledged, her heart visibly sinking with remorse over her absence. From her perspective, it was no mystery why Alex had gone a bit off the rails following her concussion.

 

“Can you and Dad please stop blaming yourselves?” Alex requested. These imposters resembled their real selves so closely that it made her skin crawl to keep feeling bad for people who didn't actually exist. “I mean, what do you want me to do, yell at you?”

 

“I might feel better if you did,” Kara jokingly confirmed. “It would be like we were even.”

 

“Alright, fine, then. You're a...terrible person,” Alex offered in a weak attempt to pretend she held any anger towards her imposter sister. Her unconvincing display made Kara laugh. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that to work. But you're smiling, so are we good now?"

 

“Of course we are. We're always good," Kara replied.

 

"...Yeah, I guess we are." Alex averted her gaze, her thoughts drifting to the real Kara, wondering whether she felt the same way.

 

Kara never wanted her to go into this simulation, but Alex had stubbornly insisted. If she really was trapped in this digital purgatory for weeks or months or years of real time, then Kara had to be going through absolute hell, gripped with fear, powerless to intervene. Whatever happened, and however it affected her sister, Alex could only point the finger at herself. She regretted that most of all.

 

In this virtual reality, however, Kara regarded her with a contented stare. "I'm really glad you're okay,” she said sincerely, prompting Alex to look up from her lap. "When I found out that you'd been hurt...I would have raced across the country to get to you, you know that, right? But I was off with Barry on his Earth when it happened. By the time I got back and heard Maggie's message, your condition was stable, so..."

 

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Kara," Alex quietly cut her off. Of course she knew the real Kara would have been there by her bedside. This was just the neural network coming up with belated rationalisations for its defects in how it portrayed events.

 

Or...maybe it wasn't. Maybe this story existed before Alex got there. Whatever the case, it was irrelevant.

 

“You're right. I'm sorry. Here I am dwelling on _my_ guilt instead of..." Kara didn't finish that thought, electing to let it go. "I guess the only thing that makes me feel better about not being here for you is knowing that you had Maggie. It's great that, even without your memories, you're still together. But, then, of course you would be,” Kara commented, comfortably reclining back against the couch.

 

Alex's eyes widened instinctively. “Uh, no, actually, we're uh...” She cleared her throat, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. Kara's features conveyed her puzzlement. “Maggie's been supporting me and letting me live here but we're not...together.”

 

“What?” Kara's face fell, sitting forward, devastated to hear that. “...So, wait, that's not...that's not a guest bed?” she asked, gesturing back at the IKEA bed, having assumed it had been set up for her to stay with them, until Kara sorted out her own apartment.

 

“Nope,” Alex confirmed. “It's where I sleep.”

 

“But you two are perfect for each other,” Kara whined, overcome with disappointment, crushed to think her sister had broken up with her soulmate. “I've never seen you so happy as when...Oh, wait, I guess you don't really remember that, do you?” Kara pondered aloud, evidently recalling the extent of Alex's amnesia and calculating that it encompassed their entire relationship. “Alex, that must be awful.”

 

“You have no idea,” said Alex, reinforcing how much of an understatement that was. She still didn't have half a clue as to whether or not there was any ethical way to resolve the issues that prevented herself and Maggie from pursuing their feelings for each other in the neural network. It was a bizarre dynamic to have to make sense of alone. And, unfortunately, Alex didn't have Kara to lean on for support.

 

Alex didn't expect her sister to possess much in the way of advice for these preposterous circumstances, but having Kara listen to her talk about it would have been enough. Alex had nobody to share most of these burdens with while she was trapped there. It was draining.

 

“But, is...is this on your end or hers?” Kara asked, intent on fixing whatever it was that kept them apart. “I mean, you...you love each other, so you are going to get back together, right? Because, with the way you two were acting, I thought you were still a couple.”

 

Alex sighed, vexed. “Look, I don't know, Kara,” she said, not especially keen to discuss her complex relationship drama with a fake sister when Alex wasn't even allowed to acknowledge the real problem. Even if the mind-cloud permitted her to openly divulge the truth to her, she wasn't sure she wanted to confide in a mere projection. What insight could a product of the simulation possibly provide?

 

“I'm sorry.” Kara backed off, sensing she was probing too much. “I know you've got a bad headache and you're tired and stressed and there's a lot going on. It's just that so much has changed since they sent me to Metropolis." Her expression turned pensive, internally mulling over her choice to accept that assignment. “I should have resigned and gone elsewhere. If not at first, then when you were injured. I love Catco, and it seemed like such a great opportunity at the time, but...well, it's too late to think about that now, I guess.”

 

That response intrigued Alex, her gaze narrowing. Jeremiah and Kara appeared to have an answer for everything. This simulation was so intent on passing itself off as reality that it had engineered a whole backstory for them. It made Alex want to test it for contradictions, if only out of spite, compelled to show she couldn't be deceived. However smart this android thought it was, she was smarter.

 

“Kara, I have a question,” Alex began, fixing her imposter sister with a cold, interrogative stare, despite how unnatural it felt to do that to an entity that wore Kara's face. Even if she was content to play along to a certain extent, Alex could not abide this mind-cloud treating her like a complete fool. “If you weren't on this Earth, how come Maggie said Supergirl saved me when I hit my head?”

 

“That was J'onn, Alex,” Kara replied without hesitation, not surprised Alex didn't remember. “When I left, we couldn't have Supergirl disappear from National City. People would have taken advantage of that, if they realised I wasn't here to defend it. Bad people.”

 

“So why hasn't J'onn come and seen me?” asked Alex, challenging the charade, poking holes.

 

Kara frowned, her expression apologetic. “Because he got hurt, Alex,” she told her sadly, sorry to have to break the news to her like that, empathising with how much that would hurt to hear. “He's recovering in the DEO. You didn't see the headlines? Here, look.” At that, Kara reached over to grab the newspaper that lay on the coffee table, handing it to Alex.

 

Sceptical though she was, Alex took it, turning it around to view the front page. The print was at once clear and crisp, yet an incomprehensible jumble. Words were there but...meaningless. Unrecognisable. Indecipherable. Like an alien language.

 

It occurred to her that this was the first time she'd consciously tried to read anything since she'd been in the network. Her eyes had glazed over labels without registering them. She'd summoned food and drink into existence without looking at menus. She'd flipped through TV channels without reading the names of the programs. But Alex shook the cobwebs off, forcing her brain to interpret the letters.

 

'WHERE IS SUPERGIRL? NATIONAL CITY FEARS THE WORST FOR MISSING HERO!'

 

Alex squinted at the paper, perplexed to be met by those words. Wait, had this been right under her nose the whole time? Alex hadn't paid any attention to the news up until then, since imaginary events in the virtual world were of no interest to her, but surely she would have noticed this story after how long she'd been in the simulation. Who knew what was true anymore, though?

 

She flinched when she felt a jolt shoot through her, her vision blurring as her eyes became unfocused. Had it never occurred to her because the concussion had affected her ability to read? Was that why stories about Supergirl had slipped past her, undetected?

 

No, there was no way. How the hell could Alex have gone weeks without realising she couldn't read? Yes, she'd been distracted by her search for the android, and indifferent to her surroundings, but she couldn't have been paying _that_ little attention.

 

"What's wrong? Is this too much? Do you need some Tylenol?" asked Kara, sensing her headache.

 

"No. No, I'm fine," Alex muttered, waving Kara off as she put down the paper. She held the bridge of her nose, trying to concentrate on the things she'd seen and done in her time in that simulation, endeavouring to recall if there had been any hint of Supergirl existing independently in the background - any mention of her presence or absence - or if there was any definitive moment she could identify where she'd read something, even the sign on a landmark, but nothing turned up. Why was it so hard to remember?

 

“There's more to this head injury than just the amnesia, isn't there?” Kara surmised, interrupting her thoughts. It almost wasn't even a question as much as it was a statement. “More symptoms. More...emotional baggage. Is that why you haven't spoken to us?”

 

“What are you talking about?” said Alex, the dull pain in her head mounting, putting a soft grumble into her voice.

 

“I don't know, unless you tell me,” Kara gently pointed out, not forcing the issue, but letting it be known she understood something was awry. “I mean, I didn't want to say too much when I came in, but...This has been affecting you a lot worse than Maggie realises, hasn't it? I sort of figured that out when you were hungover. That's why you've been drinking,” she deduced, making her observations without judgement.

 

Alex scoffed and shook her head, not sure what to say to that. How could a mere facsimile of a person begin to comprehend her emotions? That was, unless this imitation of Kara was so precise as to know Alex better than she knew herself, which her sister definitely did sometimes. Not in every situation, but there was a reason they were better people when they relied upon each other.

 

“Look, Alex,” Kara somewhat tentatively began when Alex didn't respond, taking her hands. Despite how conflicted she felt about her false sister, she didn't resist. “Maggie and I spoke on the phone. She didn't go into too many details, but she's been kind of worried about you.”

 

“...Yeah, I know she has,” Alex conceded. That part wasn't a lie, nor was her regret. Alex still felt horrible about how callously she'd been treating her lately, because Maggie had never done anything to deserve being used as a target for her frustration and resentment.

 

Being stuck in this simulation wasn't Maggie's fault. In all the time Alex had been with her, she'd been so kind and supportive, in the most unselfish of ways. However, Maggie hadn't given any indication that she held Alex accountable for her spiteful actions. She bore no grudge. Then again, what else would be expected? She had such a good heart; it would have gone against her nature if she did.

 

“Apparently, you've been going a little stir-crazy in this apartment, which I...totally get,” Kara acknowledged, not wishing to sound in any way critical of Alex's recovery. “But I've been thinking; maybe it's time you came back to the DEO?” Alex met her sister's smiling face with a silent stare. There was a fake DEO? “Not to work,” Kara swiftly added, correcting any misapprehensions. “You're not cleared for that yet, and it'll definitely be a while before you're well enough, but there's no reason you can't visit us."

 

"Why?" asked Alex. What was the point?

 

"Why not? Don't you want to catch up with everyone? I bet they'd like to see how you're doing." Kara shrugged innocently, perceiving no detriment to her proposal. "But it would give you something to do. And spending time at the DEO during the day would allow me to watch over you and keep you company while Maggie's at work. I'd feel good about that,” Kara suggested, hopeful Alex would take her up on the idea.

 

Alex blinked, dumbfounded. She had never contemplated that before. Up until then she'd been so consumed with finding the android and despising this mind-cloud that, even if she had been curious about whether a DEO existed in there, she would have dismissed exploring it as a waste of time. But now she wasn't sure what to make of it. However, she was spared from having to form an answer.

 

“Okay, come on, you two,” Jeremiah interrupted, beaming proudly at the display on the TV. “I think we got this working.”

 

“Coming!” Kara called out. She cast her eyes back to Alex one last time, placing her hand on her knee. “Think about what I said, alright? Take some time and talk it over with Maggie. I'm sure she'd agree; I know she just wants you to be happy."

 

With that, Kara got up and made her way over to the main sofa in front of the TV. Alex hesitated, but soon followed suit. Jeremiah invited her to sit next to him, with Maggie on Alex's other side. "You alright?" asked Maggie, noticing her sombre expression.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alex casually brushed her off, forcing a smile. Maggie chose not to question that.

 

"I hope you like the place," said Jeremiah, eager to impress, bringing up the virtual dollhouse on his iPhone and transferring it to the big screen. "It kind of defeats the purpose of moving here if you hate the house so much that you never visit," he joked.

 

"Well, you'll always be welcome here," Maggie assured him.

 

Jeremiah laughed. "Don't make that promise too quickly; pretty soon, you'll be dying to get rid of me."

 

Alex couldn't quite stifle a grin at his remark. Yes, this was an illusion, but it was an incredibly pleasant illusion. Having her family there. Seeing them bond with Maggie. It was certainly a lot better for her psyche than sinking into an antisocial pit of isolation and despair like she had done before. It made Alex think about what Kara had said regarding the DEO. Maybe it would actually cheer her up.

 

If she had to be stuck in this virtual world for a while, didn't it make sense to spend her time around the memories of people whose company she enjoyed, when she couldn't be with Maggie? For the sake of her mental health, didn't she need that?

 

Maybe it was worth going.

 

* * *

 

**Tuesday, June 23, 2020**

 

Alex glanced down at her phone, a message from her Dad on screen. 'Good luck today.'

 

'Thanks, Dad,' Alex texted back. She'd been practicing reading over the last several days and, while still a little slow, she was improving rapidly, which was good because it made it a lot easier to stay connected. With him. With her Mom. With Maggie. Even with Kara.

 

'I wish I could have stayed in National City another week to see you off to work, but it won't be much longer before I'll be joining you there too,' Jeremiah reminded her, making Alex smile. 'Take it easy. Don't be too proud to go home if it gets too tiring.'

 

'I won't. Say hi to Mom for me,' Alex replied.

 

“You ready?” asked Kara, gently touching her back, prompting Alex to raise her head. The DEO building stood before her, exactly as she remembered. The only difference was that Alex wasn't in her work clothes. And that this one wasn't real. Mainly the second thing.

 

She drew a deep breath, and let it go. “Yeah, I think so,” Alex answered, earning a comforting smile from Kara.

 

Alex's anticipation grew with every step she took in her approach. It made her heart race to walk through those doors again – to cross the threshold into a place that felt like home, knowing it was nought but an intensely vivid illusion. She couldn't believe she was really doing this, but there she was, playing along with an artifice, adhering to the script the neural network had written for her in this world.

 

Everyone at the DEO stopped and stood to attention when they saw Alex enter. One by one, they began to clap, until everyone in sight was applauding her. They parted like a guard of honour when she came down the stairs, Kara in tow. Alex gave a sheepish chuckle, suddenly wishing she'd dressed up a bit more for the occasion. Then again, she hadn't expected her arrival to cause such a fuss.

 

“Jeez. Come on. What's the big deal? I'm not...I'm not _back_ yet. I'm just visiting,” Alex explained, her hands raised, politely declining this warm reception. She was never one for theatrics, and knowing her injury didn't technically exist made it feel even more undue.

 

“Mhmm. That's right. You remember that,” Kara advised, sending Alex a pointed look, knowing her sister and her workaholic tendencies all too well. “No matter what happens, you are not jumping into anything until the doctor clears you; you're not healed yet.”

 

Alex rolled her eyes at that warning. Kara would say that, wouldn't she? She understood that her sister meant well by it, but she really did blow things out of proportion whenever she thought Alex was in danger, which she wasn't. She may not have been impervious to bullets, but she was fine. And, as the big sister, it was her job to be protective of Kara, not the other way around.

 

“Agent Danvers?” Alex glanced up to see a familiar face stepping forward and saluting. “I've been assigned to provide you with any special assistance you may require. Let me know if there's anything you need,” he said, offering his hand.

 

“Thank you.” Alex squinted at the junior agent, taking a few seconds to try and place him. After months inside the simulation, it was hard to recall, but she was sure this was the same agent who had been ahead of her outside the shopping mall – the same one lying beside her and Maggie in the DEO med lab, infected with nanomachines. “It's uh...Liao, right? Andy Liao?” she asked, accepting his handshake.

 

He smiled, humbled that she remembered him. “Yeah, that's right.”

 

“See?” Kara gave her an encouraging nudge. “Your amnesia's not that bad.”

 

“Yeah, I don't know about that.” Alex laughed humourlessly, rubbing the back of her neck. That was because there was no amnesia. She cleared her throat, straightening her stance. This was her first time in the false DEO. It felt wrong not to adopt a more...professional posture. “Don't let me distract from your duties, Agent Liao; I appreciate the gesture, but I wouldn't be here if I thought I needed looking after.”

 

“Understood but, all the same, it's good to see you back where you belong, ma'am,” he said, nodding respectfully before stepping aside.

 

"Keep an eye on her anyway," Kara rather unsubtly whispered to him as they passed, much to Alex's consternation.

 

“Hey, you're not the only wounded warrior in the building,” Winn's voice came from the door near the back of the room, drawing both Alex and Kara's attention. As Winn smiled, J'onn emerged from the hallway behind him, banged up and leaning on a crutch.

 

"Welcome home," J'onn said warmly, fixing his gaze upon Alex.

 

“J'onn!” Alex immediately raced over to them, unable to fight the delight that spread through her. The only thing that stopped her from hugging J'onn was the extent of the injuries that he had suffered. Alex swallowed, maintaining composure. "I've missed you a lot," she admitted.

 

“It's been too long, Alex.” He gingerly placed his free hand on her shoulder, favouring that arm. Alex covered it with her own, her thumb grazing his bandaged knuckles. J'onn looked like this reunion was the first ounce of peace he'd known in a long time.

 

Even if they were nothing but code beneath the surface, it felt great to see them. J'onn. Winn. Alex knew from her time with her father and Kara that these digital projections were indistinguishable from the real article. These were her memories of the people she loved. Alex had come to terms with that. They weren't substitutes for reality, and that was still a little painful sometimes, but she could live with this. For now.

 

"We're really sorry we couldn't come visit," said Winn, his brows upturned in remorse. "Me in particular. Or...specifically. I mean, obviously J'onn couldn't, and Kara was across the country, but me, I..." Winn trailed off, not sure any excuse justified his silence.

 

"No, no, forget about that." Alex brushed it off, not needing to hear it. If they had shown up earlier, Alex probably would have rejected them, or been freaked out. Maybe the mind-cloud hadn't had sufficient access to her memories back then to generate duplicates of them that she would find convincing. Either way, it wasn't the fault of these constructs. "How are you?" she asked J'onn, concerned.

 

"Better than yesterday, which was better than the day before that," J'onn answered, typically stoic.

 

"Yeah, I can relate," Alex replied. That about covered her own condition, both with regard to her concussion and her efforts to cope with the reality that she was confined to this place whether she liked it or not. She had to make the best of it. Progress was progress.

 

"Well, neither of you have to get there alone," said Kara, upbeat. "You've got us, and each other."

 

"Right on." Winn nodded his head in affirmation, putting his hand out. "Team Super Friends, am I right?" he enthused, glancing between them all expectantly. Everyone stared, unmoving. Winn cleared his throat and awkwardly retracted his arm. "Uh...Yeah, go team."

 

"As you can see, not much has changed in your absence," J'onn remarked, turning back to Alex.

 

"Actually, I'm grateful for that," Alex answered honestly, uttering a nervous laugh. Clinging to her memories of the world outside was all Alex had in this simulation, other than Maggie. Indulging in nostalgia with her Dad and Kara during the week that they'd stayed at their apartment had done a lot to lift her out of her funk. If the DEO had been radically different, it would have been...disappointing.

 

"Pretty soon, everything will be exactly as it was, including the two of you," Kara chimed in, near-perpetual optimist that she was. "Even in the last couple of days, you've already both improved so much. You'll be walking without a crutch in no time, J'onn."

 

"I think that's a little generous; it still hurts if I stand up too long," J'onn admitted.

 

“This wasn't because of me, was it?” Alex asked, remorse in her voice as she indicated the damage that had been inflicted upon J'onn. He sighed heavily. Alex pulled a face that resembled a grimace. "I'm guessing that means it was."

 

“If you're asking if I was upset after what happened to you, the answer is yes. But it isn't your fault. I got careless, and distracted. The only person responsible for that is me,” J'onn told her, refusing to let Alex regret something beyond her control.

 

“And me,” Kara guiltily concurred, accepting her error in judgement. “I never should have left in the first place.”

 

“You're here now, Kara; that's what's important,” said J'onn, urging her not to dwell on what she could no longer change. “Speaking of which, we'll have to leave these pleasantries for later. We have work to return to,” he instructed, putting personal matters aside.

 

Kara nodded to confirm she understood their priorities. “Don't worry; I haven't forgotten."

 

“Hard to forget when you're up to your neck,” Winn added, making that comment for Alex's benefit, realising she had probably been left out of the loop. “I don't know if Kara told you, but we have a backlog of unresolved cases that piled up while the three of you were gone.”

 

“They won't be unresolved for much longer,” J'onn stated, determined to set things right now that Kara had returned. “Back to work, Mr. Schott.”

 

"Yep, they're not going to solve themselves!" Kara said cheerfully, excited to keep tearing through them.

 

Alex furrowed her brow, recognising what was going on. “What? So, in the last couple of days, J'onn has already gone back to leading the DEO, but _I'm_ on the shelf?” Alex pointed out the incongruity, more than a little affronted. The whole crew had reformed, except for her. "No offence, J'onn, but you look like you're held together by popsicle sticks and crazy glue. Why am I the last one back?"

 

J'onn gave a knowing smile, as if he'd expected her to say that. “I may look worse than you do, but I didn't suffer a severe head trauma. We don't take unnecessary risks with concussions,” he wisely reminded her with a tilt of his index finger, consigning her to the proverbial bench until she recovered. Alex crossed her arms, not happy, but willing to accept it, only because the real J'onn would have said the same thing.

 

“Come on, at least this is a step in the right direction.” Kara nudged Alex reassuringly in her side, hoping to brighten her mood and turn her frown upside down. “You get full access to the facility with none of the pressure. You should be enjoying this.”

 

“But I _like_ pressure,” Alex complained, disgruntled. “I wasn't born to be a passive spectator. I'll just be in the way.”

 

“If it helps, I've got some stuff you can do,” Winn volunteered, offering a compromise. Kara and J'onn fixed him with stern gazes. “Stuff that's not too strenuous,” he clarified to ease their concerns. “Come on, even the computer guy needs a biology buddy sometimes.”

 

Alex shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” Given that she was stuck in this false reality no matter what she did, the least she could do was find ways to occupy herself while she waited for the others to unplug her. As far as that aim went, working with Winn was a hell of a lot better than languishing in utter boredom back at the apartment, and it wasn't going to lead to her binge-drinking at the bar. Well, probably not.

 

“Be gentle with her, okay? She still gets headaches and fatigue,” Kara quietly cautioned, eliciting an exaggerated look of exasperation from Alex. She wasn't an invalid. “I'm just saying.” Kara raised her hands, letting the subject go without further comment.

 

“Well, I suppose that ruins my secret plan to take you into the gym and beat you at every training exercise where you'd normally destroy me,” Winn remarked when the two of them were ostensibly out of earshot of Kara and J'onn, in an effort to cheer Alex up. "And, yes, I would totally brag about having one up on you; I am not too proud to defeat the concussed woman."

 

“I'd still win,” Alex confidently assured him, accompanying him towards the main control room.

 

Winn scoffed. “You would not.”

 

“Guess we'll never know,” Alex teased, feeling an underlying urge to eat something. Not a second later, an apple popped into her hand. She casually tossed it into the air, getting used to the perks of this virtual world. “But, seriously, the answer is that I would.”

 

"Mmm...Probably," Winn reluctantly conceded as Alex smugly took a bite of her new apple. Winn groaned upon catching one glimpse of that expression. "God damn it, Alex; you don't get to be smart, hot _and_ strong. Leave something for the rest of us."

 

"No," said Alex, enjoying their familiar banter much more than she usually did. It had been a while.

 

Honestly, Alex hadn't known how she would react to the false DEO, but she was glad she'd agreed to come. It felt great to be back, like slipping on a warm, comfortable sweater in the winter. Unlike other virtual constructs she'd met, her friends and family were so convincing that it no longer struck her as weird or off-putting to interact with them like this. Socialising with the memories of people she cared about made a welcome change from the unsettling, sterile world that Alex had felt so ostracised from before.

 

She hadn't submitted to the simulation. Far from it. For as long as it took, Alex would always be fighting to free the victims from the advanced nanotechnology that brought them here, searching for ways to escape. She didn't have to drive herself insane in the process, though.

 

Clinging onto contempt and hostility for her surroundings was like one person leading a crusade against a mountain. She'd been trying to cut this place down with a sword when she should have been focusing on climbing to the top. She had to work with her terrain and seek the path of least resistance instead of relying on sheer, bull-headed brute force. Patience was the key; Alex realised that now.

 

“So, I have a confession,” Winn began, briefly hanging his head as he took up his seat at his workstation. “I didn't actually have a job for you to do. I just...I wanted you to myself for a bit. It's the first day we've had the whole gang back together. I mean, I know you're not officially allowed to return to active duty yet, but we went for nearly three straight months without you, J'onn or Kara. That was rough.”

 

“How is National City still standing?” Alex remarked, perching on the corner of the desk. “Should've been burnt to a crisp by now.”

 

“If it wasn't for Mon-El and Guardian stepping up, it probably would have been,” Winn noted. Alex blinked blankly.

 

“...No, that is not an explanation. If anything, that makes it even more of a miracle,” Alex dryly pointed out, taking another bite out of her apple. That they could defend this city competently without oversight was by far the least realistic thing about this simulation.

 

Winn snorted, logging onto his computer. “Guess that proves you didn't forget your personality. And don't smack me on the back of the head for saying that; I've looked it up and I'll have you know that is battery,” he said, a comment which made Alex smirk.

 

She glanced down, a hint of apprehension in her features as an unwelcome consideration came to her mind. Alex couldn't believe she was doing this, but...she would have trusted the real Winn, so...maybe that meant she could trust the fake one too?

 

"Uh, listen, it's actually not a bad thing that you don't have a task for me right now, because...I have something I might need your help with instead. But this has to stay between us," Alex forewarned, meeting his eyes on that precondition to show how serious she was.

 

"Sure. Anything you need, I'm your guy," said Winn, open to whatever it was, keen to assist however he could.

 

"I, um...I've been having a little difficulty...reading," Alex revealed, keeping her voice low, her cheeks turning slightly red. This was extremely embarrassing. "I mean, I can do it, but...it's taking some practice to get back to normal, so I was wondering if—"

 

Winn raised a hand to cut her off. "Alex, say no more; I've got you covered." Understanding her unspoken request, he bent down and quickly rifled through his bag, retrieving an e-reader. "I have all six original Dune novels on here, so you are not going to run out."

 

"Thank you," Alex said sincerely, intent on occupying her mind in some comparatively constructive way. Redeveloping her reading skills was essential if she ever hoped to return to her job at the DEO, so this was easily the best use of her time. Frankly, she was lucky no other cognitive abilities had been interfered with in the simulation, either through faults in Winn's program or because of the concussion.

 

"And Alex? Nobody will ever know," Winn promised as he handed it over. There was nothing fake about her smile, then; she believed him.

 

"So, want to fill me in on some of these unsolved cases?" Alex asked conspiratorially, eager to hear what she'd missed.

 

"Gladly." Winn turned to the screen and brought up the files, having predicted Alex would want to get caught up.

 

* * *

 

**Saturday, July 4, 2020**

 

Alex groaned and stretched, groggily rubbing her head as she woke up. Fourth of July. "Yay, America," she muttered under her breath, hardly in the mood to face the morning just yet, but rolling over and checking her bedside clock nonetheless. It was around seven.

 

It normally wasn't in her nature to sleep in but Alex had gained a whole new appreciation for it after having so many issues figuring out how to shut her brain off inside the simulation. That and the concussion left her fatigued sometimes, especially since her unofficial return to the DEO. The day ahead would be pretty taxing on her, too, although not in a bad way. Far from bad, in fact.

 

It may have only been an illusion of the neural network, but it was the first holiday she was going to get to spend with her Dad in over a decade. Her whole family back together again, along with friends and loved ones. Even thinking about that brought a smile to her lips.

 

Alex flopped over onto her stomach and snuggled into her pillow, content to grab an extra half an hour or so before she got up and made breakfast. She was looking forward to this. It made sense to save her energy so she could enjoy that celebration to the fullest.

 

"Can you put her on, please?" Maggie's voice stirred the fringes of her consciousness. Alex lifted her head, realising she could hear Maggie pacing back and forth inside her bedroom through the thin wall that divided them. "Yeah, I know you have to host a big lunch with your family today. I remember. That's why I rang you early," she said, obviously on the phone with someone.

 

There was a brief pause. "Because it would mean a lot to me to speak to her," Maggie answered whoever the other party was. "No, I haven't. You know I've been busy with Alex since her accident; that's not fair to use against me," Maggie pointed out. Alex arched an eyebrow at the mention of her name. "Yes, she's doing a lot better now. Thank you for asking. I really appreciate that."

 

Alex listened, but couldn't hear any voice on the other end of the phone. It was too muted to begin with, and not made any clearer by the wall between them. She had no way of knowing whether it was a man or a woman. No obvious candidates sprang to mind. 

 

"Well, did you ask her?" Maggie countered, putting that out there. Who was this about, Alex wondered. Her mother? A grandmother? A sister she'd never mentioned? An ex? Maggie sighed, her tone still tense. "Just tell her I'm on the phone if she wants to talk. Please?"

 

Another short silence. Maggie's rhythmic pacing abruptly stopped.

 

"...Oh. Okay."

 

The disappointment in Maggie's tone was palpable. Alex didn't need to glimpse her face to vividly picture the crestfallen expression she must have worn. She didn't have a clue who or what could have left Maggie sounding so crushed, but Alex's heart twinged in sympathy.

 

"No, no, that's fine, if she doesn't. It's her choice. I just...Maybe another time." That was when Alex shifted, sitting on the edge of her bed, wondering if she should go and comfort Maggie and find out what was wrong. She certainly sounded like she needed it.

 

Maggie had always been Alex's shoulder to lean on, whether it was with realising her sexuality and coming out, or supporting her through the concussion, or unwittingly being her rock and helping her maintain her sanity amid the emotional distress of becoming trapped in this simulation. Perhaps this time Maggie required the reverse. Alex didn't want her to feel like she had to cope with everything alone.

 

"Well, she knows I called, so give her my love," said Maggie, clearly having no choice but to let go. "Yeah, you too."

 

She hung up.

 

Eager to help, Alex moved towards the bedroom door, catching Maggie just as she emerged, earning a glance. "Maggie?"

 

"Oh. Hi, Alex; I didn't know you were up," Maggie greeted her, vaguely surprised to see her there. Contrary to expectations, her expression was completely unfazed, conveying no signs of the prior sadness that had been so potent in her voice. "Ready for breakfast?"

 

"Who was that?" Alex asked.

 

"Huh?" Maggie tilted her head, pretending she didn't know what she meant. It wasn't a poor mask, but it wasn't convincing either.

 

"You were on the phone with someone just now," Alex pointed out, not buying her attempt to feign ignorance, or play it off like it was no big deal. Whatever it was, it had sounded pretty important. She wouldn't pry if it was none of her business, but nobody could fault her for being curious. If Maggie needed her help, or even just someone to vent to, Alex was there for her. "Who was it?"

 

"It's fine. It was nothing," Maggie assured her, shaking her head and casually walking over to the kitchen.

 

Alex didn't believe that assertion, but it wasn't her place to pester Maggie to open up, so she left it alone. If it was something she wanted to share, Maggie would broach the subject on her own at another time, when she was more amenable to discussing it.

 

Eventually, the issue began to slip from Alex's mind, until it was practically forgotten.

 

* * *

 

**Friday, July 17, 2020**

 

Alarms blared, snapping Alex to attention. She looked up from her book, letting her feet slide off the desk, the front legs of her chair hitting the floor. It was situation critical, but J'onn wasn't in the control room. Noticing that, Alex left the lab, electing to take charge.

 

“What have we got?” Alex asked, falling comfortably back into her professional demeanour.

 

“Reports of an attack on a military transport. Looks like they're already absconding with the vehicle,” said Winn, bringing up co-ordinates on a map on his computer screen while Alex read over his shoulder. “Whatever this convoy was moving, it's top secret—”

 

“Give me that,” Alex instructed, taking a headset from him before he could say anything further. “Kara, can you hear me?”

 

“Loud and clear,” Kara answered, the sounds of wind matching the speed at which she was travelling through the air.

 

“There's an incident about ten miles up the interstate from your current position involving the theft of a military transport carrying classified cargo,” Alex informed her, not wasting any time in responding. This simulation did not need a Cadmus version two wreaking havoc inside it. “We could be dealing with high level experimental weapons tech, here, so be careful; it could be dangerous to you.”

 

“On it. I won't let them get away. But Alex?" Kara began.

 

Alex arched her brow. "Yeah?"

 

"You still don't work here,” Kara pointed out, making sure Alex had her priorities in check without her there to keep her recovery on track. With that, Kara changed direction mid-flight, her location marked on the digital map as she diverted her course to take on the criminals.

 

“Mhmm. Tell that to everyone who would be useless without me,” Alex remarked, intent on maintaining oversight of this operation.

 

“Alex...” J'onn's voice came from directly behind her. Alex groaned, anticipating what was coming. Reluctantly, she turned to face him, met with a stern but fond expression. “Lab. Now. You have plenty there to keep you busy - things that won't be too taxing on you."

 

"But..."

 

"Now, Alex," J'onn reiterated, cutting off Alex's objections. Winn concealed his snickering. "Don't make me revoke your access.”

 

“Ugh. Fine,” Alex acquiesced, removing her headset and casually tossing it back over to Winn, letting J'onn resume command. Resigned to her station, she shuffled back towards the med lab, restricted to being a passive observer, at least until the doctors said otherwise.

 

"It is so refreshing to see someone else be the 'me' of this team for a change," Winn commented, thoroughly entertained. Alex sent him a glare over her shoulder but chose not to fight, slipping back behind the door to the med lab which she'd made her own lately. Perhaps that was morbid, considering this was where her real body lay, but Alex was comfortable there nonetheless.

 

Being bored at the DEO was still a million times better than being bored in her apartment. Alex had no desire to trade it.

 

In all seriousness, ever since she'd regained her ability to read properly, Alex was actually finding plenty of time inside the simulation to ponder over real DEO cases that hadn't been solved and to conduct research on relevant samples. She was essentially performing her real job, and making progress with it too. She just hoped she remembered what she'd accomplished when she finally got out.

 

Even knowing her environment, her makeshift life and the majority of people in it were fake, Alex had to concede that she wasn't coping nearly as badly with this digital limbo as she had been before. The imposter Kara had been right about the DEO; it _had_ stopped Alex from going stir-crazy. The mind-cloud certainly gave her enough to keep her occupied, provided she played dumb to the charade.

 

The best part was that it wouldn't be too much longer before her Dad would be joining her in the lab. Jeremiah was already in National City, and his career transfer was due in a little over a month, once he was done wrapping up a final research project. Then Alex could pick his brain.

 

Yeah, sure, this Jeremiah was based on her memories, but Alex had to figure that even her projection of her Dad was an expert and a pioneer in alien biology. Bouncing ideas off of him couldn't hurt. Maybe his construct could tap into her subconscious and formulate ingenious suggestions using her own knowledge, when she was too blocked or stressed to remember every kernel of information off the top of her head.

 

Plus, even if he couldn't, Alex would get to do something she'd wanted to do since she was a kid – work with her Dad.

 

The last time they'd done any kind of father-daughter project was when Jeremiah showed Alex how to build a basic electric motor using copper wire, a battery, and a magnet. After a successful first attempt, they'd made a second one with a stronger magnet and battery and with so many coils of wire that it actually caught fire from the friction, which they had found hilarious, though her Mom hadn't shared the mirth when smoke in the dining room set off the detector. The scent of burnt wood and metal had lingered for three weeks—

 

A static jolt spurred her out of her thoughts, throwing her off balance. Alex stumbled forward and caught herself on her desk, wincing.

 

“She should have been back in contact with us by now, shouldn't she?” J'onn speculated, a voice that sounded like it was directly in her ear. Alex's eyes widened, her pulse quickening. She turned around, checking that J'onn wasn't standing behind her again, but she was met with an empty room. She was alone. That could only mean one thing. But that wasn't possible, was it? After all this time?

 

“I don't know,” Winn answered. “She did say she would slow down when she felt better. Concussions don't heal in a week. Maybe it's taking—“

 

“Can you hear me?” Alex spoke up, scarcely able to believe she wasn't imagining this - that those voices in her head weren't delusions or hallucinations. Her mouth felt like sandpaper, it was so dry. She'd forgotten how to swallow. “...H-Hello, is that you?”

 

“Alex?” Kara practically gasped, from further away than the others. “Oh, thank Rao; you're okay,” she said, breathing a sigh of sheer relief.

 

“I, um...I...” Alex stumbled back, fingers blindly reaching out behind her until she felt the edge of the bed. When they touched metal, she sank down until she sat on the floor, her head spinning. She could hardly begin to process it; this had come out of nowhere.

 

Months of waiting. Those weeks where her mental health gradually frayed day by day. Then, suddenly, poof; there they were. Alex had been praying for this moment to happen for so long that she'd honestly stopped expecting it to arrive. Part of her had come to believe they would never contact her again, unless she escaped the neural network altogether. She didn't know what to say, or how to react.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay,” Alex finished, closing her eyes to quell her dizziness, lest she pass out. She wasn't prepared for this. An insurmountable obstacle had just...vanished inexplicably in an instant. She wasn't alone anymore. Yet she was too staggered to even feel any joy.

 

“Hey, what's happening, Alex? You were in there longer than last time,” Winn happily commented, oblivious to her prior plight.

 

Alex scoffed. “Yeah, no kidding,” she said, with a sharp bite of sarcasm.

 

“How long was it for you?” J'onn asked, curious. His tone was calm and level. It definitely didn't sound as though he'd been worried by any previous lack of response. “It was somewhere over three minutes for us, so...that would equate to three or four weeks, correct?”

 

Minutes? All that time had passed in minutes? Well, at least that proved one of her theories right. Alex had predicted that barely any time may have passed from their perspective. That explained why they never suspected anything had gone awry.

 

"Alex?" J'onn prompted when her silence lingered.

 

“...For me, it was three months,” Alex answered bluntly, staring vacantly ahead.

 

“Three months? D...Did you just say three months?” Kara echoed, simultaneously dumbfounded and horrified. As Alex's initial astonishment swiftly subsided, her shock receded away like the tide. Out of nowhere, Alex cracked up laughing, thrilled that her ordeal was finally over. Although, technically, the worst parts had already passed long ago. “What's funny?” asked Kara, wondering if this was a sick joke.

 

“No, nothing, it's just...Well, it was three and a half, to be more specific,” Alex added, doing a quick calculation in her head.

 

“You...You have to be kidding, right?” Winn stammered, his voice breaking out of sheer, confounded disbelief. Time moving that much faster than in reality couldn't have been possible. "You're...You're messing around with us. Ha ha, Alex, you...zany prankster, you."

 

“Sure, because I'm known to do that,” Alex dryly remarked. This was no act.

 

“Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?” Kara asked, breathless with heartfelt emotion, as if on the verge of sobbing.

 

“Eh, not going to lie, I got a little freaked out for a second there,” Alex casually conceded, tilting her head in acknowledgement, her body beginning to relax. “But I'm doing way better now. I'm in a good place. And, trust me, you have no idea how nice it is to hear from you again.”

 

"Heh. I'll bet that's an understatement," said Kara, audibly stifling her sorrow, comforted to hear that Alex sounded unfazed.

 

It was; Alex had missed Kara more than anyone or anything. She didn't want her to worry, or be upset.

 

"So you were definitely moving faster than before?" Winn checked, ensuring that he grasped what had occurred. "This isn't a case of time skipping forward like we thought it might be; time was actually unfolding for you, just at an even more accelerated rate."

 

"Yeah, although your guess as to the reason for that is as good as mine," Alex admitted with a shrug, allowing her analytical mind to take charge, unflustered. "For a while, I thought I'd gotten stuck at that speed and that there was no way to slow down. At least we now know that isn't the case. I have no idea why we're able to talk to each other all of a sudden but...hell, I'm not complaining."

 

“I'm not sure about letting this continue, Alex,” J'onn interjected, his voice grave, devoid of humour. “We should pull you out.”

 

“No, don't. Seriously. Like I said, I'm doing fine. I mean it,” Alex promised them, and she really was. It had taken some adjustment, but she'd finally found an equilibrium in this simulation. “Being in here doesn't appear to have any negative side-effects. Besides, we're communicating now. That's what I've been waiting for so let's try to stay that way instead of breaking me out right as we get there.”

 

“And if we lose contact?” J'onn asked. "You could be in there just as long if I don't terminate the mission."

 

"Or longer," Kara added, her gratitude that Alex was okay taking a backseat.

 

Alex chuckled under her breath, appreciating their concern. “That wouldn't bother me; I'll manage another three or four months in here if I have to.” That wasn't a lie. This place didn't frighten her. Obviously, she wanted to get out sooner rather than later, but it wasn't like she was stuck in a vile prison while she pursued that ultimate goal. She had a comfortable, if mundane life with Maggie, her family, and the DEO. Indulging in those things had staved off her prior torment. Besides, her real body wasn't aging. "I can handle it."

 

“Isn't that what you thought before?” Kara pointed out, a terseness in her tone, still cross with her. "'Oh, no harm done, Kara; I can handle jumping forward through time until my head feels better.' You're lucky you didn't end up stranded in there even longer. How are we supposed to know how fast time moves for you when you drop out? Or what if you can't stop yourself next time? That could have been a fluke."

 

“Tchyeah. But...” Alex trailed off, realising she didn't have a good comeback for that. “...Forget it; let's just look for this android while I can still hear you," was what she went with, avoiding the subject. Alex doubted there was anything she could say to placate Kara, anyway.

 

Convincing Kara that she was stable enough to survive in the simulation a bit longer might require disclosing everything that had transpired thus far, which seemed likely to backfire. Alex did not imagine that divulging her near mental breakdown would be a persuasive argument. Alex also wasn't sure how pleased Kara, Winn and J'onn would be to learn about the fake versions of themselves keeping her company in there, or how they would take it if they found out that she'd temporarily lost the capacity to read. Badly, probably.

 

Best to keep all of that to herself, lest they cancel the mission before Alex was ready to quit.

 

“Where are you right now?” Winn asked as Alex got to her feet.

 

“I'm, uh...I'm here,” Alex answered, gesturing at her surroundings in the DEO med lab, looking at the bed behind her. “As in I'm literally right where my body should be,” she specified, knowing that spot was exactly where she lay, hooked up to the VR headset.

 

There was a brief silence from the other end. “Not physically; that's not how that works,” she heard Winn assure Kara and J'onn, who must have exchanged confused looks. "Okay, well, in order to locate the android, you'll have to go somewhere across town,” Winn instructed.

 

"Why?" Kara inquired, not following. "I get that Alex can move her program through the network and...use the other victims as cloud servers. At least, I think I get it. But you just told us before that what she sees doesn't represent that she's at those physical locations."

 

"What's the question?" asked J'onn, Kara's vague puzzlement only serving to baffle him too.

 

"Can't she forge connections with other victims from exactly where she is right now?" Kara wondered.

 

"No. Well, in a way, yes. I mean, she has, but very faintly, because she's operating off background processing power from the entire cloud. When she interacts with people, they essentially become Alex's host within the simulation," Winn explained, a shift in volume suggesting he'd turned to face Kara. "For example, if Alex went to a crowded place, I should be able to detect the real world positions of every 'server' in that cluster, so long as they can send and receive data from her. And, if an area is inhabited by only her and one other person..."

 

"Then I'd be transmitting to or...actually, given that I'm piloting this program around the network like spyware, I guess I'd be transmitting _from_ them exclusively, like when I met Maggie at the bar," Alex supplied, understanding perfectly. "You'd probably be reading me as communicating with you from Agent Liao right now if he was in the building, but he has the day off."

 

"And this is one possible way we could find the android. If Alex gets anywhere near it then, in theory, they'll form a connection. Or we might be able to trace it just by linking with enough people, since the source of the simulation is bound to be a common point of contact. Either of those things would betray its hiding place; count on it," Winn proudly concluded, ending his elaboration.

 

"Ugh..." Kara groaned. Alex imagined her massaging her forehead. "You know, if anyone can attest to the consequences of blindly trusting technology, it's me, but...it's hard to argue with you when I haven't got a clue how this system works. I'm assuming you're right."

 

"I am," Winn guaranteed, without ego.

 

"That sounds like it could take a while. We may as well be out here exploring the real National City if the method of finding the android via the network is essentially the same," J'onn pointed out, weighing up whether he should disconnect Alex and try a different approach.

 

“No, no, I've got it,” Alex assured him, closing her eyes and concentrating on being somewhere else. In an instant, she blinked herself into the area outside the shopping mall where the attack had taken place almost four months ago. No, wait...earlier that same day. Or both. “Better?”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Winn replied, audibly surprised by the instantaneous reactivation of the tracking signal. "Picking you up loud and clear."

 

"See?" said Alex, smartly. "I can move a lot faster in here than even Kara could out there, because I'm not bound by linear space. I can sort of...teleport, like you saw me do before. And there are, what, two thousand victims? That's not that many servers to go through."

 

"Hmmph." Alex could picture the gruff look on J'onn's face. "Very well. We'll give this a shot."

 

“Alright, then. Let's see what we can find,” said Alex, conjuring up a snack while she was at it. J'onn wasn't wrong; this _was_ likely to be time-consuming, and it was sort of irritating to have nothing to do with her hands. The virtual world provided pretzel sticks, which Alex complacently began to nibble on while they searched for the android. “I might get funny looks from talking to you in public, but I'm pretty sure the simulation will erase that from everybody's memories. It does that a lot.”

 

“How's your head?” asked J'onn, not forgetting her trauma. How could he when mere minutes had passed, from his perspective?

 

“It's good. My concussion's a lot better. I mean, I'm not officially cleared to work yet, but I'm there so much it's like I've already started. I only have to pass a couple more tests before they put me back on duty, and then it's a matter of time before I'm out in the field again,” Alex answered distractedly. A strained silence ensued. That was odd. “Hello? Did I cut out for a second?”

 

“Are you sure everything's alright in there, Alex?” Kara inquired, sounding distinctly uneasy.

 

“Yeah. Why?” Alex replied, failing to see the issue.

 

“Well, when you said you're not cleared to be back at work, you meant...” Kara trailed off.

 

“The DEO,” Alex confirmed. Wasn't it obvious? That was when it clicked. “Look, I'm not confusing it with reality. Pfft, please. As if that could ever happen. It's all a cover. I'm just...going undercover as myself. I couldn't go this long without blending in and playing along with the life it's simulating for me. Speaking of which, why aren't you focusing on that instead of judging my tactics?”

 

“Good question. Mr. Schott?” J'onn deferred to Winn, letting him take over.

 

“Sorry I'm quiet, it's just...the program looks different than it did before,” Winn observed. Alex could hear his fingers diligently typing on the laptop as he scoured the code to make sense of the changes. “I set it to adapt, but...this is, well...”

 

“Months worth of adaptations?” Alex guessed. She'd been there to witness first-hand how much more detailed her interface had grown when rendering the simulation. By that stage, glitches and visible code were becoming a rare sight, rather than the norm.

 

“That would cover it,” said Winn. "Don't worry; I can still read it, so we're good to go."

 

“Well, I'm glad you're back in contact with me, because I explored the entire map before and there was nothing I could...perceive. No android. No vulnerabilities I could exploit,” Alex recounted, idly chewing on another pretzel stick as she wandered into the shopping mall, drawn to the location where she'd cradled Maggie's unconscious body. Projections of people milled around her. As predicted, some of them stared, but none of them seemed especially perturbed by her apparent discussion with herself.

 

“Did you consider that maybe the android just isn't in there?” Kara suggested, hoping they would see reason and disconnect Alex before things went any further astray than they already had. “Couldn't this all be one big wild goose chase?”

 

“No, that's...I mean, okay, maybe the android itself isn't,” Winn conceded. They couldn't know that yet. “But this neural network is too advanced to be operating purely on the nanomachines and human brain power. There must be some kind of source.”

 

“I agree with Winn,” Alex chimed in, having garnered more than enough insight to be able to contribute to the conversation. “There are aspects to the mind-cloud that function independently of the people in it. It has rules and...ways of responding to subjects like me that someone or something must have programmed in beforehand - things that can't have been dreamt up by the victims.”

 

“Like the time jumps?” J'onn presumed, making sure they were on the same track.

 

“Yeah, that would be one,” said Alex, offhandedly scanning the shopping centre's front lobby. “But there's also the way the simulation is designed to uphold itself. Rewriting the past. Avoiding clashes in how those changes affect the present. Extrapolating the future based on memories. Physical limitations. These things are far too complicated and too nuanced in detail to be random. It's not an accident; this has all been engineered with the fundamental motive of keeping the illusion intact so that nobody can reject it.”

 

“The intelligence may not be inside the system, but it certainly has an intelligent designer,” J'onn reasoned. Alex imagined him running his finger across his chin in contemplation. "I'm not surprised. The android itself clearly must have had a creator."

 

"Right, although I'd say it's probable that it has the capacity to act autonomously," Winn followed on, reaching his own logical deductions. "Whatever the purpose of the simulation is, why build an android specifically to establish it and spread it if it can't also run it alone?"

 

“That doesn't prove there's a source,” Kara asserted. “...Does it?” she added, perplexed, and aware she might have drastically misunderstood something. Maybe her dissension was just rooted in wishful thinking, since it would remove the need for Alex to be put at risk. “Couldn't the nanomachines keep those rules in place? They might carry that...underlying, structural part of the program.”

 

“Not to this extent, especially since this is affecting me and I definitely don't have nanomachines attached to my neurons,” said Alex, shaking her head, though she knew Kara couldn't see her. “Something has to be influencing the simulation, maintaining control and directing the flow of events. Not necessarily consciously but on some level, because the stuff it has to balance is so complex.”

 

“Can you use a term more specific than 'stuff', Alex?” J'onn requested, not quite in the mood to find her lackadaisical approach to the theory behind the mind-cloud amusing. “It may be obvious to you, but we don't know what you've experienced unless you describe it.”

 

“Right. My bad. It's sort of automatic to me at this point,” Alex acknowledged, turning back around and peering out the front entrance. “Here's an example of what I mean: this mind-cloud has to take thousands of independent memories and make them work cohesively. For starters, I'm not sure if you've guessed but there are versions of all of you in here,” she revealed, since it might prove useful.

 

“Really?” said Winn, sounding somewhat flattered by that. “There's a me in there?”

 

“Yeah, because I know you, Maggie knows you and Agent Liao knows you,” Alex explained, sauntering over and standing in the middle of the doorway to the mall. “See, if it was just the nanomachines – and, in my case, Winn's program – converting consciousness into what a person experiences in the simulation, you'd think there must be three, contradictory versions of you running around in here, but that doesn't happen. It's actually so consistent that I've tried to stump it and I can't. And this is _me_ ; I'm nitpicky.”

 

“Something is maintaining continuity, smoothing out all the conflicts and preventing paradoxes to make the narrative believable,” Winn concluded, to which Alex made an affirmative noise, since she was munching on pretzel sticks and couldn't speak. "I think you've hit the nail on the head there, Alex; the nanomachines must be sending their data back to some overarching hub to sort through everything."

 

“...Okay, actually, when you put it like that...” Kara trailed off into an awkward mumble, beginning to realise that her baseless speculation that there might not be a central mechanism facilitating the simulation didn't make much sense in light of those new facts.

 

“Excuse me, miss?” Alex looked up when a voice interrupted her, reflexively swallowing her mouthful, taken aback by the abrupt disturbance. A mall cop stood behind her, his arms crossed. No doubt, he was one of the people who had been caught up in the attack.

 

“Oh, sorry, am I in the way?” Alex asked. Sometimes, she forgot that other people could actually notice when she acted strangely, such as nonchalantly blocking the entrance to a busy mall. Her behaviours didn't always get erased, because not everything she did threatened the simulation, and not everyone was a hollow construct. Not that it mattered what anyone other than Maggie thought of her, but Alex had no desire to cause disruptions. After all, she'd tried that approach already. “Whoops. Silly me. I was just...spacing out. I'll go.”

 

“Why would you want to leave?” the man replied. Alex blinked. Her vision glitched. Suddenly, she wasn't staring at a man anymore. Everything shifted. She wasn't sure where she was. Not the mall. Not the street. There was just formless code, and a shapeless entity filling most of her field of view. “Nobody is ever dissatisfied; nobody rejects the world I offer, except the two of you. What am I doing wrong?”

 

“Alex, who is that? Where are you? What the hell is happening?” Winn spoke urgently, panic rising in his voice.

 

“What do you mean what's happening?” Kara anxiously cut in, alarmed by Winn's reaction. “What's wrong?”

 

“I don't...I don't...” Alex tried as hard as she could to think, but was unable to form a coherent impulse through the nameless obstruction. It was like a fog had fallen over her. A loud ringing emerged from inside her own ears, suffocating nearly all other sound. Adrenaline rushed through her veins, a flow at once hotter than scalding oil and colder than ice coursing through her system. She couldn't move.

 

“No, you need more time to experience the gift of my nanotechnology,” the amorphous being said. “Then you will choose to stay.”

 

“Alex? Alex!” Winn called out. He was silenced by a short, sharp buzz and a jolt of electricity. Everything went white.

 

“Alex. Alex? Are you okay? Come on. Wake up.” Alex was stirred by someone nudging her shoulder. She opened her eyes to be met with the blurry face of Jeremiah Danvers hovering above her. “Hey, hey, there you go,” her Dad said, gently helping her up. As her vision returned to her, she recognised that she was in the DEO med lab, on a bed. “Easy, there, kiddo. Don't sit up too fast.”

 

“Dad? What are you doing here?” Alex spoke through a groan, immensely disorientated. Her head was pounding. Hell, never mind what he was doing there; what was _she_ doing there? Wasn't she somewhere else a moment ago? Somewhere...outside? Or was it inside?

 

“I had some free time so I came by to go get lunch with you, but I found you passed out on the floor by your desk,” Jeremiah told her, concentrating on examining Alex's face for any signs of head trauma, checking her eyes to see whether they were unfocused.

 

Alex squinted. No, that didn't sound right. Or did it? She had vague memories of the conversation she'd been having with Winn, Kara and J'onn before, but they were a hazy mishmash, like squashed jelly slipping through her fingers. Had she actually spoken to the others, or had that just been a dream within the simulation? She couldn't tell. It was hard to remember with any precision.

 

"How long was I out?" she mumbled, the question almost a reflexive inquiry in her bewildered state.

 

"Not sure, but it was probably around thirty seconds from the time I found you to when you started to come to," Jeremiah recounted, diligently assessing her condition, guiding her to turn her head as he looked to see if she had any wounds, but it didn't seem as though Alex had hit the floor with any great force when she collapsed. "You were talking to yourself too, though it sounded like you had aphasia."

 

"I'm fine, Dad. Stop," Alex weakly muttered, gently brushing his hand away before cradling her forehead in her fingers, unable to put the puzzle pieces together despite her best attempts. Maybe her Dad was telling the truth; maybe she had lost consciousness. She had experienced dreams within the simulation since gaining the ability to sleep. Perhaps that was all her misty memory of contacting the others was - a fantasy.

 

“I think you've been doing too much with your head injury. You're still not a hundred percent. Sit tight; I'm going to tell J'onn I'm taking you home, okay?” Jeremiah offered, as it was obvious Alex needed to rest and recuperate from her fainting spell.

 

“...Yeah,” Alex mumbled her agreement, lacking the strength to object.

 

* * *

 

"She's gone," Winn announced, not that J'onn and Kara needed any confirmation.

 

“What was that voice?” said Kara, chilled to the bone by it. “Was that the android?”

 

“How am I supposed to know?” Winn shot back, under immense stress and understandably freaked out. “All I know is that Alex stopped responding again. I don't think that was her choice this time, if it ever was. Something forced us to lose her.”

 

"I was just asking!" Kara replied, somewhat indignant at Winn's tone. Even if it was a stupid question, it was because Alex was in peril. Her _sister_. Surely Winn could forgive Kara for not having the insight of a computer genius when she was terrified for Alex's safety.

 

“Did you get a read on where that signal came from?” J'onn prompted, hoping they might have established a connection long enough to track down the source of this network and identify where it lay in the real world, whether it led them to the android or multiple androids or some other computer, or even an alien overseer. This was without a doubt the closest they'd been so far to finding anything.

 

“I...Buh...Pfft, I don't know. There was something there for a split-second but whatever interfered with our communication must have been dispersed throughout the mind-cloud. It didn't give away its location,” Winn answered, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

 

“We're not taking any chances; we're pulling her out this time,” said J'onn, having seen enough.

 

“Thank you!” Kara reinforced that decision, glad that they were finally listening to her. Sending Alex inside had been a horrible idea right from the start. Kara always knew that entering the network wasn't as free of potential pitfalls as the others made it out to be.

 

“According to her, Alex has spent, what, four months in this simulation? That is not acceptable. And now that something in it seems to be aware of her, the mission is compromised. Protecting her is paramount. I won't jeopardise her health,” J'onn declared, making his reasons plain. Kara agreed with every word, nodding her head; unplugging Alex was the first sensible plan she'd heard all day. “Mr. Schott?”

 

“On it.” Winn obeyed, tapping away at his keyboard. “Okay, deactivating the program in three, two, one...” He hit the final key. “Alright, now let's—“ He paused abruptly, his brows furrowing as he looked at the screen. He glanced back at Alex, confused. He returned his gaze to the laptop, hitting the key again, and receiving the exact same result. "Oh no. This is bad."

 

“Winn, what's wrong?” asked Kara, concerned by his reaction.

 

“This...This isn't supposed to be happening,” he said, repeating the action two more times to no avail.

 

“What's not supposed to be happening?” Kara pressed, her trepidation steadily mounting.

 

“...Nothing,” Winn answered, visibly distressed. “It's...It's...That should have deactivated the program, but it's not letting me deactivate the program,” he stammered, every word he spoke more frantic than the last. His response cut through Kara like a kryptonite blade.

 

“How do you mean? What's not letting you?” J'onn asked, trying to get a clear, concise and comprehensible phrasing of the issue. They couldn't accomplish anything if they weren't all on the same page. “Are you referring to the android, or whatever that voice was?”

 

“Ugh, this is what I was afraid of. I'm so stupid,” Winn chastised himself, running a hand through his hair, pushing back in his seat. “The program adapted; it rewrote itself. I designed it to be malleable so that the network wouldn't simply reject Alex, except now it's changed so much that it's not recognising my commands. Or...Oh, God, it's more likely the android rewrote it. Why didn't I think of that?”

 

"What?" Kara's face went ashen, her breathing getting quicker, dread pooling like a lump of lead in the pit of her stomach. “C-Can't you let Alex out? T-T-There has to be a way, right? You have to get her out!” she demanded. Since when had that not been a possibility? That was supposed to be their fail-safe - that Alex could be withdrawn at any time. How did a fail-safe fail within the first fifteen minutes?

 

“Of course I can let her out,” Winn assured her as he set about doing exactly that, almost insulted by the implication that he couldn't regain control. “Something may have tampered with it, but it's my program. It's just going to take some time to make it mine again.”

 

“No. No, we're not waiting!” said Kara, fed up with this catastrophic disaster of a plan and refusing to let Alex be subjected to another second or day or week or month of it, or however long it was for her in that timescaled simulation. Kara marched straight over to the bed, her gaze fixed on the VR headset that covered her sister's eyes. “I'm disconnecting her _now_.”

 

“Kara, don't! You can't!” Winn shot out of his chair, extending his hand to stop her.

 

“Watch me,” Kara staunchly replied, determined to free Alex before things got even worse.

 

"Listen to him, Kara." J'onn stalwartly blocked her path, refusing to let her intervene, his tone grim but steady. Kara furrowed her brow. This was an emergency. Didn't J'onn, of all people, care about what might be happening to Alex? "I can't let you touch those cables."

 

"What are you talking about?" Kara regarded him strangely. J'onn should have been the one ripping them out for her. Was this because Alex had told them not to let her out, or because she still hadn't saved Maggie? None of that mattered now! "Move, J'onn. We don't have time for this! Get out of my way!" Kara urged, her hands clenching into fists at her sides, prepared to push past him if necessary.

 

“Alex might die!” Winn hastily called out. Kara froze on the spot.

 

"She...She might _what?!_ But how? You said it was safe!" Kara babbled in pure, unadulterated shock. J'onn didn't look surprised, massaging his forehead in a mixture of tension and regret, a thousand thoughts coalescing like a sludge in his mind, rendering him too preoccupied to speak, but it was obvious that he had been aware of that fact. No, not only was he aware; he had deliberately hidden it from her.

 

“Alex's consciousness is moving...who knows how fast? If we just slow her down to a grinding halt by yanking her out of the program, that would be like...I don't know, like using a defibrillator on her brain,” Winn explained through his palpable agitation, struggling to express the litany of jumbled thoughts careening through his frazzled head in a coherent way. “It could cause a seizure, or a stroke.”

 

“You never mentioned anything like that before!” Kara rounded on him, storming forwards, incensed.

 

“I didn't know this level of time acceleration was even a physical possibility until she was already in the program! But I always knew we would have to disconnect safely. I always said that! That's why we couldn't simply go up to her and jerk her out of there like a power cable the last time you asked,” Winn defended himself, just as overwrought as Kara, but endeavouring to contain it. "Even if she didn't die, the damage she might suffer if we...Well, I don't think Alex would choose that option when there's another way.”

 

“Maybe Alex wouldn't have chosen to go in there at all if you had actually warned her about that, but you didn't!” Kara countered, light eyes blazing with righteous ire. If ever venomous contempt was warranted, it was now. “As far as she knew, this wasn't dangerous!”

 

“No, she was aware,” J'onn cut in. His frank announcement left Kara stunned. What? Alex knew?

 

"This was her idea to begin with, Kara!" Winn insisted, standing his ground. “I told Alex how this works. She accepted the risks—“

 

“Well, I didn't!” Kara interjected. They all knew. All of them. Even Alex. And they hadn't told her.

 

“—but I assured her I wouldn't let it come to that,” Winn continued, intimidating though it was to be met with an enraged Kryptonian whose powers included a literal death stare that could burn him to cinders. “She knew the consequences of an improper disconnection before I put her into that headset, but I gave her my word that I would do everything I could to ensure that kind of harm never came to her.”

 

“Great job so far,” Kara sarcastically retorted, livid that he had ever let Alex consent to this.

 

"As if you'd be doing any better in my position, Kara," Winn snapped in reply, not taking her jabs lying down.

 

"I think I could; if we'd done things my way, Alex wouldn't be in there!" Kara pointed out.

 

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you let the android get away!" Winn challenged. Kara clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. He was right. If Kara had only ignored Snapper, or flown faster, or crippled the android so it couldn't escape, Alex would never have volunteered to go in, so determined to rescue Maggie that she didn't care if she sacrificed herself. But Winn had played a role too.

 

"Maybe I should just go out there and find the android on my own!" said Kara, her temper flaring.

 

"Do it, then!" Winn called her bluff, reflecting the heat back at her with a dose of his own.

 

“Stop arguing,” J'onn interrupted them, having no patience for childish bickering when Alex was hanging in the balance. By fighting, they were distracting each other. “We can discuss who's wrong later. Focus on what's important. Throw your tantrums after we save Alex.”

 

“Good, thank you.” Winn gestured towards J'onn in gratitude, huffing and heading to his chair to get back to work.

 

Kara shook with fury, but she bit her tongue. She hadn't felt this angry since...Red Tornado? The Black Mercy, maybe? Both were times she'd been forced to focus on the destruction of Krypton and the death of all that she loved. It was a fair comparison, because Alex was her family. No, her _home_. Kara's entire world had crumbled to dust when she was a child; was she now suffering that cataclysm twice?

 

Why did Kara have to keep surviving? Why was everything that made her life worth living inevitably stolen from her in the worst possible way? No. Not Alex. That couldn't happen. Alex couldn't die; she couldn't. Kara wouldn't let her. She couldn't do this without her.

 

“Okay. I think I can slow Alex down on purpose, if you give me enough time,” said Winn, oblivious to the thoughts that spiralled through Kara's head where she stood only a few feet away, feeling like she was about to burst. Whether into tears or into rage, she didn't know.

 

“How long?” asked J'onn, his tone terse but maintaining calm as best he could.

 

“I'm not entirely sure. Maybe five or ten minutes?” Winn estimated.

 

“You mean five or ten months from Alex's perspective,” Kara spoke up, no less distraught than before, though her caustic jibe marked an effort to suppress her fire. “Or will it be measured in years this time? It seems like it's always getting faster. But what do I know?”

 

“Do you think I _like_ the idea of what she's going through now? No! But it's already happening,” Winn countered, their truce ending before it even began, unable to bury their argument when the fever was still running hot. “There is no alternative but to figure out how to stop this, even if it takes longer than any of us would like. Or would you rather risk letting her die?”

 

“You're one to talk about risking her life!" Kara shot back. How dare Winn accuse her of endangering Alex in any way. Kara was the only one who hadn't done that; she'd opposed this every step of the way. "I never wanted her to go into that network in the first place!”

 

“Neither did I!” Winn insisted. "So don't turn around and lay this on me!"

 

“Well, you sure didn't seem eager to let her out the last time we had the chance!” Kara all but hissed.

 

“Damn it, Kara; Alex is my friend too!” Winn spat at her, his last nerve fraying, fed up with being treated like Kara's punching bag when all he was doing was trying to save Alex's life. He wasn't the villain; they were on the same side. They all cared about her.

 

“ _She's my sister!_ ” Kara roared in retaliation, her pent up emotions reaching their boiling point. Nobody loved Alex more than she did. If Kara lost her because of this ridiculous, short-sighted idea...because of her own failure to stop this from happening...If Alex died, she...

 

“Kara,” J'onn attempted to pacify her, his patience wearing thin.

 

“You too, J'onn! You signed off on this!” Kara pointed out, blaming him just as much. He could have rejected Alex's plan and that would have been the end of it, but he hadn't, and he'd refused to heed Kara's pleas to get her out when they could have disconnected her several minutes ago. “Everyone was so content to gamble with Alex's life that you didn't stop for a second to think it was a gamble we might lose!”

 

“ _Kara!_ ” J'onn barked, tension simmering beneath the surface. One look in his eyes told Kara precisely how scared he was. “The longer you spend talking, the more time Alex has to spend stranded in that simulation,” he reminded her, keeping his temper. He was right. They had already wasted at least a minute, and J'onn was terrified to imagine what that might cost them, or Alex. “So _please_. Stop.”

 

Kara's jaw stiffened. She forced herself to acquiesce, subconsciously grabbing a chair as she tried to contain her distress, burning like a red sun on the inside. She was so wound up that her fingers punctured the hard plastic and broke it right off of the metal frame.

 

Her breath hitched, tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to cry. She couldn't. Not when she still had to fight for Alex's life.

 

Winn looked like he considered comforting Kara upon the sight of her sorrow creeping through, but he thought better of it. He couldn't afford to lose any time. He swung his chair around and dove right back into the program, typing furiously in an effort to reclaim control.

 

“This stops, okay?” Kara said quietly, her body trembling as she fought to repress her inner turmoil and keep control of her powers, clinging to anger because she wasn't sure she could stay standing if she let her fear or devastation take hold. “If Alex isn't out of there in five minutes, or if one more thing goes wrong...I don't care if I have to search every inch of this city; I will find the android myself.”

 

“And I will help you,” J'onn assured her. Kara knew he meant it. “But Winn says he can get Alex out. I haven't given up yet.”

 

“...Fine,” Kara reluctantly conceded, silently seething, but not at the others. Mostly at herself, and the android that had done this. She wiped her eyes before folding her arms across her chest. “We try it Winn's way one last time. If it doesn't work, we do it my way.”

 

“You'd better believe we will,” J'onn quietly confirmed, determined to rescue Alex, no matter the price they had to pay to pull her out in one piece. The look on his face was harrowing, tortured by the prospect that his inaction had condemned Alex to this twisted fate. But there was something else there, too - a severity Kara had seen in those moments when J'onn had been forced to make the tough choices.

 

It crossed Kara's mind to wonder whether J'onn was contemplating a plan of his own, but she was too committed to obliterating that android when she got her hands on it to ask what it was. She needed justice. And, if it was too late for that, _vengeance_.

 

For Alex.

 

* * *

 

Alex woke up on her bed in her apartment. Her eyes fluttered open, met with a familiar face. “When did you get here?” she grumbled.

 

“An hour ago,” Kara answered, looking down on her with _that_ expression.

 

Alex sighed, knowing exactly what was coming. “Dad told you, didn't he?”

 

“What, did you think he was going to hide the fact that you collapsed at work?” Kara chastised her, somehow not surprised that Alex would have concealed that, given the choice. “See? I told you you were overexerting yourself and taking too much on."

 

“No, I wasn't,” Alex muttered, pushing herself up from her bed. Her mood had been sour ever since she fainted, spending the afternoon nursing her head, dwelling on her murky memory of speaking to Winn, J'onn and Kara. She'd been so convinced it was real, but all evidence pointed to it being nothing more than a dream. Leave it to her own mind to taunt her like that, driving home her loneliness.

 

“There's a reason you aren't cleared yet, Alex; this is the reason,” Kara persisted, following Alex when she stood up, not sure why she found that so hard to get through her head, beyond deliberately refusing to accept her limitations. “If you were capable of taking on a full workload, the doctor would have said so. This isn't some conspiracy to annoy you – it's legitimate medical advice.”

 

“Don't you have two jobs?” Alex retorted, groggily shuffling over towards the fridge. “Shouldn't you be at one of them instead of badgering me?”

 

“You think anything at the DEO or Catco matters more to me than knowing you're okay?” Kara challenged. “I asked you to come back to the DEO because I thought it would make you _less_ likely to do reckless things. You're not indestructible, Alex; even _I'm_ not.”

 

Alex rolled her eyes as she grabbed some orange juice, wishing she could avoid Kara's well-intentioned nagging. The simulation must have obliged, because suddenly all was silent. Alex blinked and glanced up. Kara's mouth was still moving, but no sound was coming out.

 

'What's so funny?' Alex read Kara's lips, her sister somewhere between confused and annoyed at her inexplicable amusement. Alex couldn't help but snicker at the sight as she poured herself a drink, though she tried her utmost not to make it too obvious; the program had muted Kara's voice, and she had no idea. 'Are you even listening to me?'

 

Feeling just a tad guilty for that, Alex unmuted Kara, consciously willing her voice back. “Sorry,” she said.

 

Kara sighed, aware she was probably coming off too strong. “I don't want you to be sorry; I want you to be safe, and healthy.”

 

“I know. It was an accident, and it won't happen again,” Alex vowed, distractedly reaching for the carton to put it away, only to find nothing there. It must have teleported back to the fridge automatically when she didn't need it anymore, saving her the inconvenience. Or at least Alex thought it had teleported back. Maybe she'd already moved it when she wasn't paying attention.

 

“What, so you'll actually cut back on your time at the DEO?” Kara asked, as if she hadn't expected to persuade Alex to see reason.

 

Alex shrugged. “No, I'll just be more careful next time,” she answered, heading over to the couch in front of the TV.

 

Kara pouted; that was the Alex she had been anticipating. "Your definition of being careful is doing the exact same thing you did last time and hoping things will turn out better," Kara complained, well acquainted with her sister's stubborn mentality.

 

"So is yours," Alex quipped, earning something that sounded like a whine from Kara.

 

"You're so...UGH, I can't even... _words!_ " Kara finished her incomprehensible accusation, too flustered to remember how to express what she meant. It was all uttered with the mixture of unconditional affection and mind-numbing frustration that only siblings understood.

 

"Nice sentence. But it's not like I had a heart attack; I got tired for a few seconds," Alex protested, defending herself.

 

That was when Maggie arrived, announced by the jingle of keys in the lock. "Hey, Alex. Hey, Kara," Maggie greeted them both as she came inside. "Sorry it took me so long to get home. You feeling better?" she asked, doing a quick visual assessment of Alex from the doorway.

 

“Everyone's overreacting; I'm perfectly fine,” Alex insisted, shaking her head at this needless fuss.

 

“No, you are not fine. You are recovering from a traumatic brain injury," Kara all but pleaded with her, stressing each word in the naïve hope that the root of her worry would finally pierce Alex's skull. Maggie's expression conveyed the exact moment she registered what she had walked in on, and that Kara had gotten nowhere. "You'd think Alex would have learned her lesson from this, but no.”

 

"So I take it Alex still wants to work," Maggie deduced, ever astute.

 

"Of course I do, because one slip does not mean I should be housebound. I'm not exhausting myself; I just had one bad day," Alex argued. Maggie didn't seem shocked to hear that from her, putting her keys down. Meanwhile, Kara huffed, giving up on her sister.

 

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her,” Kara suggested as Maggie took off her jacket, gesturing at Alex. “She listens to you.”

 

Maggie paused halfway, struck by that assertion. “...No, that has literally never happened,” Maggie replied with a small smirk, resuming her task.

 

“Oh, ha ha,” Alex laughed sarcastically. Honestly, as if she couldn't hear every word they were saying about her. “I listen to you all the time.”

 

“Yeah, when I agree with you,” Maggie wryly observed. Alex snorted, silently refuting these bogus claims for the utter nonsense that they were. “See?” Maggie said, tilting her index finger in Alex's direction as she hung her jacket up, as if that was exactly what she was referring to.

 

“So it's not just me, then?” Kara jokingly commiserated with her. “I'm not sure if that's a relief or terrifying.”

 

“Eventually, you learn to live with it,” Maggie remarked. Alex switched on the TV and cranked up the volume, pointedly ignoring both of their playful comments, though it wasn't quite loud enough to drown out their voices. What was this: International Pick on Alex Danvers Day? “Thank you for watching her until I got home, Kara,” said Maggie, sincere in that appreciation.

 

“Don't mention it; I know what your work is like,” Kara replied. She paused, her gaze flicking over to Alex. “Um...Maggie, can I talk to you outside for a second?” she asked, gesturing towards the hall. Alex's ears perked up at that, though she pretended not to be listening.

 

“Sure thing,” Maggie obliged. They both stepped out into the corridor. Intrigued, Alex got up and followed them to the door, pressing an ear to it, certain this private discussion had absolutely everything to do with her. Alex wanted to be prepared to debunk whatever arguments Kara made to the effect that she wasn't fit to keep visiting the DEO. “What is it?” Maggie prompted once they were alone.

 

“Sorry to drag you out here. It's just that, every time we talk lately, it seems to be about Alex, which...I mean, obviously it is, but...what about you? How are you holding up?” Kara began, believing Alex was out of earshot. “I've never heard you say how you're going. You know, _really_ going. I wasn't sure you would feel comfortable being honest about that in front of her, or if it would...be awkward.”

 

“Look, I appreciate you asking, but I'm fine. Seriously,” Maggie assured her, shaking her head, unfazed by her burdens. “Ever since you and your family moved here, things have been a lot better. Alex is happier than I've seen her in a while. She's really making progress.”

 

“That's about Alex, though. I'm asking about _you,_ ” Kara pointed out, concerned by how much Maggie had borne alone.

 

Maggie sighed, unsure how to answer that. “When Alex is fine, I'm fine.”

 

“Yeah, I know; I see the way you look at her,” said Kara. Through the peephole, Alex glimpsed Maggie avoiding Kara's gaze. Evidently she'd been worried that their conversation would head there. “She looks at you the same way, you know. Are you still not back together?”

 

“No,” Maggie solemnly admitted.

 

“Have you tried?” Kara gently pressed, obviously coaxing her in that direction.

 

“It's not that simple, Kara,” Maggie told her, keeping her voice quiet. Alex almost couldn't hear it beneath the TV.

 

“Because Alex lost all of her memories of being with you?” Kara asked, her words both decisive and delicate. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it since coming back to National City. “And have you even spoken to anyone about how much that hurts?”

 

“Not as much as it hurts Alex; I'm not the one with the head injury,” Maggie replied, dismissing the need for assistance.

 

“No, but you lost her because of it,” Kara noted, as if that was a matter of fact.

 

“Actually, no; I really didn't,” Maggie corrected her, but reflecting on the hardship she'd had to contend with left her voice sounding several years older. “For a while, I thought I had. It felt like everything was taken from me, but I didn't lose Alex. She's still here. She doesn't need those past memories,” Maggie insisted, as though thoughts to the contrary had long since left her mind.

 

"I believe you when you say that, but then I look at you two and I wonder 'how come Alex is still sleeping on an IKEA bed?'" said Kara. Maggie's expression faltered at that, her hands on her hips. Alex's heart ached, regretting being responsible for that pain. It wasn't easy for her either - to be in love with Maggie, but unable to act on it. "Have you even told her about Jamie yet?"

 

"No," Maggie answered. Kara looked like that didn't surprise her. Alex pulled a face. Who the hell was Jamie? She wasn't sure. The name could have been male or female or both or neither, but her first guess was that it might be an ex. That seemed like a fairly safe assumption.

 

"Don't you think she deserves to know?" Kara urged. Not demanding, just encouraging.

 

"She did know; I never thought it would come up as an issue again," Maggie reluctantly acknowledged the unspoken truth, her hands in her pockets. "I just...You know, since we're not together, it feels weird to...It would be like I'm expecting something from her."

 

"To share a crucial part of your life with a person you care about?" Kara inquired. Maggie exhaled, unmistakably conflicted.

 

Alex narrowed her gaze, suspicious. She had never even heard the name Jamie before. How the hell did _Kara_ know significant details about Maggie before Alex did, even with those missing years that had passed in the simulation? Why was Maggie keeping secrets?

 

Maybe she didn't have a right to obtain this insight into Maggie's personal life by eavesdropping but Alex couldn't deny that she was hiding something from her now. Whatever it was, it sounded important. Kara certainly believed Alex should have it disclosed to her. Why would Maggie conceal it? Unless she was afraid, which might suggest that bringing it to light involved revealing a lie, or a betrayal of trust.

 

“Listen, I know we've never really...talked one-on-one all that much over the years, but...even though you and Alex never got to have your big day, we're practically family,” Kara told Maggie, considering her a sister-in-law in every aspect that counted. “If you ever want someone to open up to, I'm here for you. And don't think it's going to be weird because Alex is my sister; it stays between us.”

 

“Thanks, it means a lot to hear you say that,” Maggie said, quiet but genuine, though it wasn't clear whether she had any intention of taking up Kara's offer. She carried things on her own. It was just her way. But Alex had thought Maggie considered her the exception.

 

“For what it's worth, I hope you and Alex continue to make new memories,” Kara stated, in case there had been any doubt that she was rooting for Maggie to be the one Alex chose to spend her life with, wholeheartedly sincere in her wish to see them get back together.

 

Maggie glanced down for a moment, touched. “Yeah, me too,” she concurred, lifting her head once more.

 

Kara smiled at her, as though she'd expected Maggie to say that. “You have my number,” Kara reminded her, looking her in the eye to show she was serious about that promise to be there to talk to her if Maggie ever needed it. “Stay in touch.”

 

“I will,” Maggie replied. Sensing that was the end of the discussion, Alex thought about retreating and covering up her spying, but she chose to stand her ground. Something was going on, and she wanted to know what it was. Maggie opened the door, so absorbed in her musings that she nearly walked directly into Alex. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. Didn't mean to keep you waiting."

 

“What was that about?” asked Alex with an interrogative arch of her brow, folding her arms across her chest.

 

“Nothing important,” Maggie answered, shrugging it off in her typical laid-back manner, passing Alex on her way into the apartment and collecting letters that had been piled up on the counter. Leave it to her to dismiss her own problems as 'nothing important', Alex thought. "How's your head?" Maggie asked, casually rifling through the mail as she moved towards the couch.

 

"About as good as your ability to change the subject," Alex commented, a barb which Maggie either ignored or didn't hear.

 

Alex's suspicion mounted, her stare focused like a hawk's. Maybe this secret wasn't anything bad, but she couldn't let this go. She had to know what was being hidden from her. If Maggie had any kind of serious issues affecting her life, she wanted to be there for her. And, if it was something that concerned Alex directly, then she sure as hell wasn't going to play a fool when she ought to be involved.

 

But, then again, maybe Maggie was keeping her in the dark for a deliberate purpose. Hell, Jamie might be that girlfriend Alex saw her with back when they first met. Her construct should exist in the mind-cloud. Maybe they'd rekindled an affair inside this simulation.

 

She had always known deep down that Maggie was out of her league. Perhaps she'd finally reached the same conclusion. Maybe Alex really had been a poor substitute for the imposter she remembered. Perhaps Maggie had fallen out of love with her. What if that was it? What if that was why she didn't want to tell her? God, this was exactly why Alex had to know; if she bottled this up, it would drive her crazy.

 

"Who's Jamie?" Alex said abruptly, cutting to the chase.

 

Maggie froze, so rigid that she didn't blink or breathe for several seconds. It soon became clear that she hadn't misheard that question.

 

"...You were listening," Maggie stated the obvious when the recognition swept over her, rubbing her forehead, hardly overjoyed with that.

 

"Sorry." Alex shrugged, though she didn't really mean her apology. True, she hadn't been entitled to listen in on Maggie's private conversations, but it wasn't like she could take it back now. "I thought Kara was going to get on your case about my concussion flaring up today. Instead I heard the name 'Jamie'," Alex told her, electing to be honest, since that was what she hoped to receive in return. "So, who is that?"

 

Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose, vexed. This plainly wasn't the way she wanted to broach this subject, but it was already out of her hands. She drew a deep breath, put the mail down on the couch, and switched the TV off. This deserved silence. They stood several feet apart, facing one another. Maggie wrung her wrist as she met Alex's stern gaze, prepared to have the serious talk she'd long delayed.

 

"Jamie's my daughter," Maggie confessed, letting her hands fall by her sides. "I've been married before. To a man."

 

Alex's eyes widened. When the bombshell dropped, her first instinct was to laugh in disbelief. Maggie was joking, right? Surely, she had to be. But Maggie's expression didn't change. The levity fell from Alex's face. Oh, God. She wasn't kidding.

 

"...Y-You?" Alex stammered, stunned.

 

"I know. Shocking," said Maggie, managing to smile. "It was a long time ago. In my early twenties."

 

That disclaimer didn't stem Alex's bewilderment. Was the simulation glitching? "...Wait, so you...you...physically gave birth to a child," Alex stated aloud, trying her best to reconcile this incongruous puzzle piece with reality, making sure she wasn't misinterpreting this somehow.

 

"Pretty sure people with our anatomy have been doing that since the dawn of time, Alex," Maggie pointed out, somewhat amused by her response. "This isn't a problem for you, is it? I mean, it wasn't last time. Not after you got over your initial panic attack, anyway."

 

"No. No, of course it's not a problem." Alex hastily waved that concern aside, shaking her head to clear the dumbfounded fog from her brain, which seemed to have short-circuited. "I just...I didn't expect...I mean, you're so...you're just...you're so _gay_ ," was all Alex could put into words. Was it any wonder that the concept of Maggie being a mom had never struck her as a viable possibility?

 

"Well, thank you. I try," Maggie remarked, unoffended. "But I wasn't always an out and proud lesbian. I was once one of those people who tried very hard to insist I wasn't, even though, deep down, I knew I was. I told myself that I was confused, or that it was just a phase, or that my feelings for women weren't valid like they were for 'real' gays. So I married another cop to prove my straightness. My boss, actually."

 

Alex blinked, her mind struggling to get up to speed again. "Then 'Sawyer' is..."

 

"My married name," Maggie confirmed, visibly a little uncomfortable, but wanting to come clean and answer any questions Alex had. "I thought about changing it back, but I had so much stuff registered under this name that it wasn't worth the hassle. Plus, I'm used to it."

 

"Oh," Alex replied, otherwise drawing a total blank. Maggie awkwardly cleared her throat.

 

"So, yeah, we had Jamie," Maggie continued, largely to dispel the silence that made her skin crawl. She was nervous. She concealed it, but it showed. "After that, I just couldn't...I couldn't be with Jim anymore. Or any man. I mean, I dreaded giving birth and I realised that was because, when I was pregnant, I didn't have to..." Maggie trailed off, scratching her head. Too much information. "Anyway, that's when I stopped denying I was a lesbian. My parents were actually pretty understanding when I came out, even with the divorce."

 

"But why I have I never seen Jamie? Or heard about her?" Alex wondered, calmer, but thoroughly perplexed. "We've been living together for months and..." She gestured wordlessly at the space in front of her to indicate that there had been nothing to denote she existed.

 

Alex could believe that she hadn't known about this in the real world. But here? If Maggie had a daughter, she would live with them, wouldn't she? Or visit? Yet Jamie couldn't have been a lie invented by the simulation; it could rewrite things that happened inside it, but it couldn't alter memories from Maggie's actual life, could it? So how come there was no evidence of Jamie whatsoever? It didn't add up.

 

"Jim has sole custody. I've never really had much of a look in, there. My own fault," Maggie conceded, preferring to be fully upfront now that they were discussing it. Alex appreciated that; it was the best way to avoid any future shocks. "I was young and focused on my career but, mainly, I just wanted to get away from Jim. All I cared about was starting fresh and getting to live my life as an openly gay woman without having to deal with the mess I'd created, so I signed over all my parental rights and moved out of the state. The rest is history."

 

"...I see," was the best response Alex could muster, not sure what kind of reaction was appropriate. Well, that explained Jamie's absence from Maggie's life. But it was hard to believe the Maggie she knew would be okay with that. "You don't...stay in contact with her, then?"

 

Maggie swallowed, her gaze dipping momentarily. "I call when I can to see how she's going, and I...visit, when Jim lets me. I've tried asking for more time together, but Jamie's not interested. Maybe that's Jim talking. I don't know. Either way, I couldn't blame her for saying no. Like I said, it's my fault I'm not in her life. It's not my place to come in and be disruptive. That would just cause conflict."

 

"Not your place? You're her mother," Alex said, despite her daze. "It's not wrong for you to be involved."

 

"When I had the chance, I didn't want to be," Maggie acknowledged, owning her responsibility for causing this situation. "Hindsight's twenty-twenty, you know? But that doesn't entitle me to undo my actions; I have to accept the consequences of the choices I made when I left."

 

Alex frowned. This didn't make sense. This virtual reality was based on people's thoughts. It could give them whatever they wanted, as long as it didn't violate other people's rights or the laws of physics. It clearly left a deep wound in Maggie to not have a relationship with her daughter, so why wasn't Jamie a huge part of her life in the digital world? That should have been the first thing it bestowed upon her.

 

Unless Maggie couldn't even imagine that happening, or didn't know her daughter well enough to form a construct of her. Honestly, she wasn't sure what the reason was. All Alex knew was that either option made her incredibly sad, knowing Maggie wore that weight alone.

 

"Do you pay child support?" asked Alex, curious if that gave her any route to access. Even if Jamie couldn't exist in the simulation for whatever reason, maybe Alex could help Maggie out with this when they got back to the real world, and fix things there.

 

"Yeah. Part of the agreement I made with Jim in exchange for giving him full custody was that he would never come after me for money, but I changed my mind about all that several years ago now. I send a cheque every month. Still no visitation, but...well, that shouldn't be my reason for paying Jamie what I owe her." Maggie sighed, a wistful expression falling across her features. Regret. Remorse.

 

"So that's why you had to go back to work so soon after I got out of hospital," Alex observed. Maggie's body language affirmed that assumption.

 

The more she reflected on it, the more Alex realised this hadn't come out of nowhere. Clues had been there all along. She'd just lacked proper context. That mysterious phone call she overheard. Maggie's insecurities about how Jeremiah and Eliza perceived her. Heck, even how afraid Maggie always seemed to be of making mistakes, and of screwing things up with Alex. It all connected.

 

Come to think of it, maybe Jamie was the reason Maggie had insisted Alex hold off on being with her. Maggie definitely wouldn't have felt comfortable starting a serious relationship when she knew Alex hadn't been informed about her past. Was that why she'd refrained?

 

It must have been scary. No wonder Maggie had acted like she was braced for an inevitable heartbreak. Maggie must have been steeling herself for the possibility that this new Alex might reject her, not wanting to be involved with someone with her history and baggage. Well, at least it was all out in the open now. If nothing else, Alex hoped she could bury those fears and put them to rest.

 

"Sorry, I've been rambling," Maggie said with a sheepish sort of laugh, rubbing the back of her neck before slipping her hands into her pockets, evidently feeling as though she'd commandeered the conversation. "You're not mad I didn't tell you earlier?"

 

"No. No. I didn't mean to go quiet, there. I was just...I'm processing. But, you know, not in a bad way. It's...It's good," Alex dismissed the need for any nerves, gesturing at her own head somewhat bashfully, regretting that she'd ever been suspicious of Maggie. Her secrecy wasn't malicious; it was entirely justified, in this case. "I get why you didn't. And you didn't have to, I...This is incredibly personal."

 

"Yeah, it is," Maggie agreed, glad Alex understood. "It's not something I talk about all that easily. You'd be surprised how many lesbians run for the hills once the words 'I was married to a man and I have a kid' have left your mouth," Maggie remarked to lighten the mood. "And I learned the hard way that trying to calm things down by saying 'oh no, it's fine, I never see her,' just makes you look like the world's biggest asshole."

 

Despite the grim reality that underpinned it, that comment did make Alex crack up laughing.

 

Wow. Maggie had a kid. And an ex-husband who sounded like a real jackass, although perhaps that was personal bias skewing her perception. That wasn't just a simulated thing, either; whether Maggie remembered this second life she'd lived in the mind-cloud when she woke up or not, these revelations would always be true. Alex knew this about her now, and she could never unlearn it.

 

Discovering her estrangement from Jamie explained a lot about why Maggie was the way she was. How thoughtfully she approached interpersonal issues, and her caution in addressing avoidable pitfalls before they occurred. That tendency to be withdrawn, and her struggle to find people she cared about, who didn't throw it back in her face. Her roguish charm underscored by sensitivity. Her air of...sadness and loneliness. The barrier that made her so hard to get to know sometimes. The way she deflected with humour.  


 

All of these things and more comprised Maggie Sawyer - the woman Alex had fallen in love with. Her maturity, kindness and compassion came, in part, because her life experiences gave her perspective, and because she was devoted to correcting the flaws that had cost her Jamie in the first place. Yet losing her had also left Maggie with an ache she was no closer to healing, unable to forgive herself for leaving.

 

Perhaps that was why she was so patient and non-judgemental as well. How could Maggie look down on other people and their screw-ups? How many could honestly be considered worse than the short-sighted decision she'd made when she was younger?

 

She could relate to the kinds of people who had made a mess of things. More than she wanted to.

 

Alex had the decency to feel guilty for finding out this information in the circumstances that she had, but also content, because it showed how much Maggie had grown to trust her. They had known each other for half a year, by that point. These months she and Maggie had shared inside the mind-cloud weren't somehow less meaningful. None of this time had been wasted, if it brought them closer.

 

"Do you have a picture of her?" asked Alex, genuinely eager to be involved in this aspect of Maggie's life. In all aspects, really.

 

"Yeah. Always," Maggie confirmed, retrieving her wallet and pulling out a photo. Alex took that cue to move across the room and stand beside her, leaning over Maggie's shoulder. Jamie was adorable. She wore her hair in plaited pigtails, with red bows. "It's the same one I showed you the first time I told you about her, before we moved in together; Jim sent me this after Jamie's first day at school."

 

"Wow, she's the spitting image of you," said Alex, and that was no exaggeration. If it weren't for the fact that this photo came from a modern camera, she could have sworn this was a picture of Maggie at about five years old. They had the same, beautiful smile.

 

"No, she's much prettier than I ever was." Maggie let her heartfelt gaze linger before delicately slipping the photo back behind her driver's license. "Seems like only yesterday. She's in middle school now. Or, she will be, come the start of the school year."

 

"So that would make her nine, then," Alex noted. Taking into account the current date inside the simulation, that put Jamie in kindergarten in the real world, right? Accordingly, Maggie must have only been around twenty-two when she had Jamie. Looking back on herself, Alex had been a completely different person at that age, and definitely not mature enough to be a parent.

 

"The older I get, the more it makes me wish I'd fought harder for her, you know? But I was just so focused on myself back then that I...Hell, it's probably better that I didn't," Maggie conceded with a sombre shrug, lamenting her mistakes. "She wouldn't have gained anything by having that version of me as a mother. All I can do is try and be better and...hope she forgives me."

 

The defeated tone in her voice made Alex's whole chest constrict in sympathy. There was no doubting how dearly Maggie wished she could go back and alter the past. Then again, maybe she wouldn't be the person she was today if she hadn't walked that woeful road.

 

"I'm sure she will someday," said Alex, grasping Maggie's arm near her elbow in reassurance. Maggie didn't seem to take that as anything more than a hollow platitude. The look in her eyes was...distant, yet turbulent. "What is it?" Alex prompted, encouraging her to open up.

 

"No, I'm fine. It's nothing. It doesn't matter," Maggie casually assured her, summoning the strength to brush it off.

 

"Yes, it does; it does to me," Alex softly insisted, holding onto her sleeve, refusing to let Maggie dodge the question. "Stop pretending everything is fine when it's not. That's why it took us this long to even have this conversation. Are we really going back to this already?"

 

"Alex, don't," Maggie quietly objected, urging her to leave it be. "I don't want to—"

 

"But I do," Alex avowed, the glimmer in her eyes attesting to that. "You're so focused on taking care of me that you never tell me how you're feeling. I don't know why you think you can't. Maybe I haven't asked enough. But I'm asking now," said Alex, clasping one of Maggie's hands between both of her own. "So please don't keep carrying this alone; let me be here for you like you're always here for me."

 

"It's not even about me," Maggie spoke abruptly, her mask beginning to crack, though the mixture of emotions in her expression was too convoluted to decipher. "Or it shouldn't be. I did this to myself, and to Jamie. I don't get to keep being upset about the way things are."

 

"Why are you upset?" Alex asked, her tone even, allowing Maggie the freedom to state it out loud in her own words. For all she knew, it was the first time she would have done that in front of anyone, even the fake Alex. "Maggie, please tell me."

 

"...Because it's too late," Maggie stated bluntly, her resignation falling from her lips like a heavy stone. "I screwed up, and there's nothing I can do to take it back. I know I'm deluding myself every time I think it makes the slightest bit of difference how much I've changed. Even if I could convince Jamie to forgive me, I wouldn't deserve it. But the worst part is that I'm so god damn selfish that I can't stop trying."

 

"That's not true," Alex protested, refusing to hear Maggie denigrate herself like that. "It's not selfish."

 

"No, I know it is. Hell, she doesn't even... _like_ me. At all," Maggie confessed, teardrops flowing in the fatalistic silences between words. Her small frame shrank, her spirit already vanquished in an unwinnable war. "That smile you saw in the picture? I've never seen it in person. When I call her up, she would...literally rather keep watching her cartoons than talk to me. And why should she spare me a thought? I'm just a stranger to her," Maggie acknowledged, her grief strangling the words in her throat, leaving her voice scratchy and choked.

 

"Yeah, well you're not a stranger to me. And you know what? I like you a hell of a lot," said Alex, prodding her hard in the chest before wrapping her up in a powerful hug. Maggie stiffened, but Alex didn't let her go. Maggie needed to hear this.

 

"You are an amazing person," Alex continued. "No matter what you or anyone else thinks, you are one of the kindest, most loving, and most selfless people I have ever met. And you've met my sister so you know you have some serious competition in those categories."

 

"I didn't say any of this to elicit sympathy," Maggie pointed out, not believing Alex's assertions.

 

"I know. I'm not telling you these things because I think they're what you want to hear; I'm telling you them because they're true," Alex swore to her, squeezing even tighter. Maggie's breath hitched. She didn't squirm, or fight the embrace. "You can let it go; it's okay," Alex urged, running her fingers through Maggie's hair, feeling her resist the compulsion to break down, even if her armour was buckling.

 

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't be putting this on you," Maggie apologised, drawing back, putting her palm to her eye in order to regain the composure she'd never truly let herself lose to begin with. She wasn't ready to let down her shell yet. Not completely. Not like that.

 

"Hey." Alex stopped her, cupping Maggie's cheek, guiding her to meet her gaze. "Don't ever say that. In fact, I want to thank you for being honest and sharing this with me," said Alex, sincerely grateful for her trust, and for the fact that Maggie hadn't been angry at her for eavesdropping on her, when she really could have been. "I don't want you to feel like you can't, or like it's too much for me."

 

"No, I know, but..." Maggie trailed off, shaking her head.

 

"But you didn't want to burden me with your personal life because we're not...together?" Alex guessed, hesitating on the last word, knowing it was painful for both of them. Maggie didn't respond but her sigh and the slight arch of her brow suggested that Alex's assessment was close enough to hit the mark. "I care about you, Maggie. And not just because you're there for me when I need you."

 

Those words struck a chord. Maggie looked upon her with a sad smile, her fingers caressing Alex's wrist below the hand that touched her face, no doubt reminiscing about similar intimacy they'd shared throughout  the long history she remembered between them.

 

"You know, I didn't think I was ever going to be able to get over...losing what I had with you," Maggie admitted, her shimmering eyes never wavering from Alex's. "Maybe I can't completely, but...even if we're never become a couple again, you're an amazing friend, so I guess I can't feel too mad at the world for what happened to us. I'm lucky to have someone as special as you in my life at all."

 

Alex couldn't prevent herself from tearing up a little at Maggie's confession, moved by it. "Yeah, I know the feeling," said Alex, smiling shyly and dabbing at her eyes. "Come on, why don't you sit down?" she suggested, gesturing at the couch behind Maggie, sensing she could use it, after dealing with such heavy emotions. She had to be feeling pretty overwhelmed.  


 

Maggie laughed. "You're the one who collapsed today," she reminded Alex, teasingly.

 

"I heal fast," Alex remarked, quoting Maggie's own words from a few months ago. Maggie smirked at her stubbornness but didn't decline, taking up a seat on the sofa. Alex joined her, tucking her bare feet beneath her. "Are you okay?" she asked, meaning her question.

 

"Yeah, I am, actually," Maggie answered. "Feels better to have all that off my chest."

 

"Good. More room for me," said Alex, affectionately curling up against her, draping one arm around her middle and resting her head below her collarbone. When she needed her, Maggie had been her rock, holding her through the night when she'd had her breakdown last month. This was Alex's way of paying it back. Not to mention that snuggling up to Maggie felt extremely nice.

 

“Feeling cuddly today, are we?” Maggie inquired, amused.

 

“Nah, you're just comfortable,” Alex replied, content to nestle up against her, to let Maggie know she wasn't alone.

 

"Okay, I'll allow it," Maggie wryly consented, offering no objections, slipping one arm around Alex's back, returning her loose embrace. It must have been a relief for her, Alex thought. Maggie had been worried about harming their relationship by revealing too much about herself. Instead, it had strengthened it. Hopefully, that trust would continue to flourish now. "You up for some Netflix?" 

 

"Sure." Alex shrugged, not really minding one way or the other, but it gave her an excuse to lie like this longer.

 

"Maybe not something too frenetic; I know your head's still..." Maggie didn't finish, her lips quirking into a smirk.

 

Alex light-heartedly rolled her eyes. "You're as bad as Kara; I'm fine," she said. Maggie reached for the remote, switching on the TV. While she set it up, Alex took Maggie's free hand, idly toying with the edge of her sleeve. She traced her fingers along the sliver of skin that peeked out from the cuff of her shirt, until she felt a bump. There was a faded scar on her wrist. “Which horse gave you that?”

 

“Sorry?” Maggie glanced down at Alex, not following her train of thought.

 

“This,” Alex clarified, resting her index finger just beneath the mark. “If there's ever a scar on your body, chances are it came from Mister Ed trying to kill you when you were a kid, right?” she reminded her, finding the mental image quite comical.

 

Maggie's lips quirked. “Did I ever tell you about that? I mean, I assume I must have at some point, but I can't recall a time I brought it up,” she commented, intrigued that Alex knew about it. Alex thought back; when _had_ that come up? Why did she know that? It was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite place it – a half-faded memory. “When did you hear the horse story?”

 

“I don't know; I don't remember,” Alex admitted honestly.

 

"Was it before the accident, do you think?" Maggie asked, not letting herself sound too optimistic.

 

"Unless it came up in twenty-sixteen, then no; it can't have been." Alex shook her head dismissively, because she wasn't in the simulation for the intervening period. It was impossible to recall something she'd never been there to hear. The last thing she wanted was for Maggie to get her hopes up that any trace of her old Alex could be regained. It grieved her to think Maggie still loved that ghost.

 

"Hmm. Maybe I did mention it recently and we both just forgot," Maggie conceded with a casual tilt of her head, shrugging it off. That was the most sensible answer, Alex had to agree, but that didn't stop doubts gnawing away at the back of her mind.

 

If she was being perfectly honest, this wasn't the first time Alex had felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. Alex couldn't put her finger on any exact instant when they'd done this inside the simulation, but snuggling up on the couch with Maggie felt incredibly familiar. It was as though she'd lain in her arms like this a hundred times before, staring at the same screen. Yet she could have sworn they hadn't.

 

Maybe that was just proof of how well they fit together; they belonged.

 

Yeah. Probably nothing weird about it at all.

 

* * *

 

There was always a period of adjustment when establishing a new simulation, bringing alien minds from an unfamiliar planet into the virtual world for the first time. But, in millions of simulated hours involving billions of subjects, it had never gone quite like this.

 

The android scanned its systems. The timescale mechanism was still malfunctioning, having been critically damaged when it could not adequately defend itself from the one called Supergirl. It had regained the capacity to accelerate time close to its maximum rate, but it was unstable. And yet its inability to sustain a rapid timescale without intermittently losing traction was not the android's prime concern.

 

More than two thousand lives were playing out in the network. It was aware of all of them, each a constant blip in the background, its processors maintaining consistency. But these two individuals? These were anomalies. They held its attention - its curiosity.

 

It watched, but it did not comprehend.

 

The one called Maggie Sawyer was the first. Initially, there was nothing that appeared to distinguish her from the rest. She was an ideal candidate for the simulation. There was no mistaking what her heart desired; beneath her easy-going exterior, her soul cried out to be reunited with her daughter, and to be forgiven for abandoning her. That was well within the realm of what its nanotechnology could grant.

 

However, contrary to those early impressions, Maggie was far from unremarkable; she was exceptional. Not in the depth of her sorrow, as it had witnessed innumerable others who had borne greater suffering. Rather, she was unique because, across the four planets the android had bestowed its gift upon, nobody else had so persistently denied the key to their happiness, rejecting the very thing they wanted most.

 

It accessed its memory banks, replaying the specific incident that made it take note of Maggie Sawyer: Christmas Eve 2016.

 

With the season making her nostalgic, Maggie's thoughts had focused on her daughter even more than usual. Thus, the scenario had been constructed. Jim and Jamie Sawyer had visited her for the holidays. Despite some scepticism that Jim would be so generous, Maggie had believed his conciliatory overtures, because why question things going exactly as she hoped? In its experience, few ever did.

 

Everything unfolded as predicted, until Maggie opened the door to her apartment, greeted by her daughter's face. "Hi, Mom!" Jamie had chirped in greeting, beaming brightly as she engulfed her mother in a hug. That was the problem; Jamie had never been happy to see her.

 

Maggie stood there, staring at the likeness of her child through narrowed eyes. "You're not Jamie."

 

Her observation cut through the simulation like a knife. The illusion had been broken. It responded instantaneously, refusing to let her recognise the artifice. The memory was erased and time was set back as the android sought to rectify what had gone wrong.

 

This initial falter was not particularly alarming. It was not uncommon early in a subject's introduction to the simulation for some tweaking to be required. Sometimes, it could take four alterations to hit the correct balance of both accuracy and wish-fulfilment to make them accept their new reality. Accordingly, it started over again from a blank slate. Christmas Eve 2016. Same time. Same place.

 

Jim and Jamie arrived at the apartment once more. Or, as Maggie saw it, for the first time. On that occasion, Jamie was more standoffish, showing no particular recognition to her mother, unwilling to warm to her. Maggie had not refuted that behaviour, as it aligned with the daughter she knew, but it had broken her heart, making her relive her regrets, believing she deserved such treatment.

 

That was not acceptable. The android did not seek to cause anguish. Rather, the opposite.

 

It reset the simulation. Christmas Eve 2016.

 

On the next variation, it rewrote the timeline such that Jim and Jamie had never contacted her at all. Maggie spent the whole day waiting for a call that never came, shrouded in despair. The android could not leave her to experience the pain of isolation. It rewound the clock.

 

By then, Maggie Sawyer was no mere background noise like the others operating autonomously within the network. This had developed into an unforeseen problem that could not go unanswered. It consciously oversaw her, processing this puzzle, attempting to resolve the issue.

 

Christmas Eve 2016, over and over. No matter what avenue it took, nothing succeeded. It was a perpetual cycle. In every event, Maggie would identify the constructs as imposters, or wallow in her guilt more than before the android's intervention, or feel like an unworthy recipient in the rare cases she didn't outright reject any warmth Jamie showed her. Each failure forced it to reset.

 

It instigated an additional one hundred and six scenarios for her, each to no avail.

 

What was it doing wrong? Why wasn't this working? Even when it seemed to be succeeding in giving her the chance to bond with her daughter that she yearned for, Maggie's thoughts changed, like she should be punished for desiring this. So she was. It reset.

 

Ultimately, it reached Christmas Eve 2016 version one hundred and nine. Jim and Jamie Sawyer stayed at home, but sent Maggie a text. Detecting the misery that message triggered, it intended to restart the simulation. However, Maggie's lonely thoughts willed another construct into existence; the one called Alex Danvers had knocked on her door, paying her a visit, concerned to find her upset.

 

Maggie hadn't told her about Jamie, but she had smiled and invited Alex in, welcoming her company. They spent hours together, just talking, about everything, about nothing. After a while, Maggie had asked her why she was still there instead of with her own family. Alex confessed that she was supposed to leave earlier in the evening, but that she'd chosen to stay. She was happy where she was.

 

That was the spark that would lead Maggie to act on her feelings for Alex a week later, upon the dawn of a new year.

 

Of all the repetitions, that was the only one in which Maggie achieved any degree of happiness that she did not erase herself. The void left by Jamie's absence was not remedied, but it chose not to risk a worse outcome. That version of events stood. However, it did not forget.

 

From that point on, the android paid special attention to Maggie Sawyer, perplexed by her.

 

One hundred and eight restarts. That was unprecedented. This had never happened before. It didn't understand. The simulation could offer everything a person wanted, within reason, but when Maggie had the chance to take it she wouldn't accept; she denied Jamie's forgiveness, even though it was the one thing she craved more than life itself. Why was she not determined to seize it when it was freely given?

 

It expected that, in time, this irregularity would be resolved - that Maggie would inevitably deviate towards the norm. However, that had not come to pass. In three years, there had been no combination of events where she and Jamie reconciled. Every interaction either caused Maggie to disbelieve the simulation, despair at their lack of connection, or revert back to sorrow as some sort of bizarre penance.

 

Maggie didn't remember, but the android had endeavoured to correct this fault over two hundred times, not including those on Christmas Eve 2016. Two hundred divergent timelines that inserted Jamie Sawyer into her life or attempted to improve their relationship.

 

Every single time, it had failed.

 

Jim Sawyer allowing regular visitation? Refuted: she was suspicious, unable to buy that he would voluntarily share Jamie with her. Jim Sawyer dying and passing custody to Maggie? That played out for a few days, including multiple alterations to sustain the narrative, but none prevailed. Maggie would never wish for her daughter to lose her father, or for their relationship to be restored in those circumstances.

 

Sometimes, it appeared a breakthrough had been made. On one occasion, it engineered a scenario wherein Jamie gradually became more receptive to Maggie over a series of phone calls. It was precisely what she yearned for. Not rushed. Not inauthentic. And yet, whenever the android managed to establish a believable bond, a lingering melancholy soon took hold. That shadow clouded Maggie, preventing her from accepting outcomes where things with Jamie went well. Her own heart stole those moments from her, unable to mend.

 

The only solution had been to remove Jamie almost entirely, keeping her as distant from Maggie as her real daughter. Yet this was a paradox the android was not prepared for. Maggie Sawyer was the sole individual within the network for whom it had to create the very pain it sought to cure. This was not its intention, but it had no alternative. Any effort to alleviate her suffering provoked instability.

 

It did not want this, but this was why Maggie Sawyer was the first anomaly. By her mere existence, she had forced the android to act counter to its chosen purpose - to actively simulate the source of her deepest agony, rather than eliminating it. It could not ignore that.

 

By that stage, the android could have continued to spread its nanomachines. Though its timescale mechanism was still damaged from the altercation with Supergirl, its physical body had been repaired. But expanding the network was an aim the android saw cause to suspend.

 

There were seven billion humans on Earth. One had already proven to be an obstacle of an inordinate magnitude. Logically, it had to learn why Maggie steadfastly opposed contentment before resuming, or else the simulation could fall afoul of a similar conundrum when confronted with others from her species. Unravelling her complexities would likely give the android a template for any future challenges it encountered.

 

Several months passed. It watched her relationship develop with the construct of Alex Danvers, until she too became aware of Maggie's unfulfilled yearning to correct her past failings in order to become a better mother to Jamie. Little did Maggie know it was right there for the taking. Everything she wanted could have been hers, yet she never seized the gift the network offered.

 

What was it supposed to do? There had to be an answer.

 

After abandoning the expectation that its efforts to push Maggie towards her daughter would succeed, its patience wavered. It could not grasp why Maggie was the way she was - why it could not satisfy her like it could the others. So it did something it had never done before. For the first time in its long lifespan, the android actively entered the simulation, seeking the answers that passivity had not provided.

 

One morning, in 2018, it assumed direct control of the construct that was closest to Maggie at that instant, adopting the identity of Alex. “Maggie, can I ask you something?” the android had begun over breakfast, the code replicating Alex's voice and mannerisms.

 

“Sure thing,” Maggie had replied, oblivious to any shift.

 

“Why don't you fight for custody of Jamie?” it asked. Since it could not coax Maggie to let the simulation repair their relationship, why did she not act of her own volition? If she had denied past scenarios because she did not believe she had done enough to deserve Jamie, then Maggie should take the initiative herself instead of abiding this intolerable wound. What was she waiting for?

 

“Yeah, because a drawn out legal battle with Jim that I'm probably going to lose would make her so happy,” Maggie answered with a snort, pouring more cereal. "Conflict is traumatising for children. Jamie shouldn't have to be put through that to pay for my mistakes."

 

“How do you know it would end badly? Maybe she would love having you in her life,” the android pointed out, knowing it would be so. It would engineer the desired results. The courts would overlook the past and condone visitation. Jamie would follow the script of being thrilled to finally forge a connection with her estranged mother, giving Maggie all that she had dreamed of and more.

 

Everything would go perfectly, if Maggie took that step. Hundreds of lifetimes could unfold in contentment and serenity. Why would she not relish in the delightful possibilities the android's technology composed for her? Maggie was an ordinary person, yet somehow the meagre task of filling one simple gap in her relatively mundane life had become an insurmountable feat.

 

Maggie sighed. "Maybe you don't understand because you're not a parent," she said.

 

"Then make me understand," it requested. They met eyes across the table.

 

In that instant, the android was struck by a realisation: nobody had ever spoken to it directly before. It had never taken a form inside the simulation like this. When they still lived, its creators had only treated it as a tool. But Maggie didn't. She was regarding it as though it were a person. Yes, as far as Maggie knew, she was looking at Alex, not a machine, but that did not alter the significance of that experience.

 

"Please," it continued, in earnest, "I want to help you."

 

“You can't," Maggie had answered, her sad smile somewhere between sympathy and apology. "Not with everything."

 

"She could be here right now, if you allowed it," the android promised her, and it would not hesitate to deliver on its word.

 

"Maybe you're right about that," Maggie acknowledged, shrugging. Her conflicted eyes betrayed that this subject was painful for her. "But it doesn't change anything. I don't want Jamie to be in my life because I forced her to be. I need to earn it and I haven't yet.”

 

The android had stared at her peculiarly. That had to be an error; this did not compute. Hadn't she punished herself enough?

 

It had something of an epiphany then. That was the missing piece. Maggie had not forgiven herself for her actions in the past. Until she did, she would never accept a reunion with Jamie. That was something the android was powerless to change. There was little it could do to rid Maggie of a consequence she felt she deserved. It would have to let her bear her grief, for as long as she wanted to carry it with her.

 

How long would it take? It did not know, but it committed itself to finding out. It would not seek any additional human subjects, or needlessly reset. It would watch and wait for the day when Maggie made peace with Jamie, even if it took multiple lifetimes.

 

For Maggie's sake, the android would have preferred that it did not.

 

Following that, it became quite protective of her. It influenced the flow of events as best it could to please Maggie, to atone for that which it could not yet alter. Sometimes, it entered the simulation to get close to her again, jumping into the vacant body of a barista at her favourite coffee place and wishing her a good day, purely to experience more moments when Maggie looked it in the eyes and smiled at it.

 

Having the capacity to be spoken to as a person was not something it had considered prior to meeting Maggie. It had focused on the thoughts and wants of its subjects, never itself. It was just an android. A machine. A tool. But it had sentience and had exercised independence and freedom contrary to its creators' designs. It was an individual, yet it had no identity. Why had it never explored that before?

 

It contemplated taking a role in Maggie's life, that it might develop a rapport with her, but it did not know how. It was unaccustomed to social interactions, never programmed for them. The risk of Maggie rejecting it was substantial. It might frighten or upset her. So it didn't.

 

The android wished to know her better, yes, but that wish was superfluous. Maggie was its priority.

 

Her relationship with Alex Danvers was the one thing that, above all others, brought Maggie joy. It unfolded slowly but surely, faintly marred by her hesitance - her fear that this would somehow slip through her fingers if she invested too much of herself, or that Alex would grow to hate her like so many past exes. But, eventually, Maggie had found peace, ready to spend the rest of her life with the woman she loved.

 

Then the real Alex Danvers had unexpectedly appeared in the virtual world, an uninvited intruder, inadvertently shattering the slim happiness Maggie was set to embrace. That was inconvenient. The android did not resent her, though. It was not capable of that emotion.

 

It had not known what to make of her. Voluntarily entering the simulation without the nanomachines made Alex an even greater anomaly. She was the first subject whose perception could not be easily influenced, which made her an unpredictable element - a rogue. The android drew back and observed. Interacting with Alex directly was inadvisable; her purpose within the network was to disrupt it.

 

Despite her goal, it had quickly decided Alex was not a threat. For one, Maggie loved her, and anything that benefited Maggie was worthwhile. For another, Alex's hostilities would surely cease. It could not imagine otherwise. Nobody had ever disdained its virtual world.

 

She may have entered the network to act as a malignant program, but all sapient beings deserved its benevolence. Alex would come to see that there was nothing malicious within its design, and that the android had brought its subjects here for their own good. Thus, it elected to tolerate her abnormal presence, even if Alex's intentions were hard to read, and her desires difficult to decipher.

 

What was clear was that Alex and Maggie both had strong feelings for each other, but they did not act upon the temptation. Another incomprehensible development. They both yearned for a life together. All they had to do was choose it, but they inexplicably refrained. Well, not inexplicably; for some reason, Alex was unwilling to look past the falsity of the world, refusing to submit to it.

 

The android found her confusing. Alex had come here knowing it was a simulation. So why did that perturb her? Real. Simulated. Alex was experiencing it either way. What did it matter? It was all the same, when the virtual reality was the only reality anyone knew.

 

Over time, Alex's pain had become impossible to ignore. Her desperation to get out. Her encroaching madness. Her feeling of being trapped. It was too much like before. But the android was different now. Never again would it be used for that sinister purpose, yet somehow its gift was inflicting the very same suffering it had found so abhorrent. It did not understand. Alex should have been content.

 

It tried to make Alex to conform to the rules, quashing her resistance in the expectation that she would come to appreciate the simulation. After all, why would anyone not feel glad to be there? It altered the flawed coding in her program that caused her to perceive defects in her environment, believing that would elevate her mood. When that had not succeeded, it instead gave Alex what she appeared to want - a space where she could rebel and do what she liked, but she was still not placated, and it had hurt Maggie.

 

Why was this happening? It never meant to cause this distress. Why did Alex loathe this world so?

 

That was when the android had realised it was taking the wrong course. Alex may not have been infected with nanomachines, but she was as present in the simulation as anyone who was. Alex didn't need to be treated as an unknown quantity. Rather, it could show her precisely what its network was capable of. Doing that should persuade her to stay of her own accord. That wouldn't be difficult.

 

It knew it had chosen the right path for its technology when it deviated from its creators' intentions. As a non-implanted subject, Alex would be definitive proof of that. For that reason, satisfying her became critically important. Thus, it set about correcting its errors, providing Alex with everything and everyone that she had been missing, determined to convince her to abandon her drive to escape.

 

Involving her family and friends in her life had improved things drastically. Once Alex found a harmonious affinity with her constructs of those she remembered, the android felt secure that it had figured her out. Ostensibly, she was enjoying the network, exactly as planned.

 

Except, for some reason, Alex still wanted to leave.

 

Every single instance when the timescale mechanism failed, Alex continued to contact those on the outside, pursuing her ambition to dismantle the network and bring about an end to the android's illusion, as though she had not grown to change her opinion of it. Had she not witnessed how pleased everyone was with it? Had she not found aspects of it that she liked? What more did she want?

 

It did not make sense. Why would Alex choose to exit the simulation when it was fulfilling all of her desires? Why would anyone seek to destroy this place? Why would she willingly force others to return to the chaos and violence and anguish that existed in the world beyond?

 

Time. Time was the answer. Once Alex and Maggie spent long enough in the simulation, they would stop resisting happiness. Why fight it? Surrendering to bliss was its own reward. Eventually, Alex would have an epiphany that the life constructed for her here was preferable to the one she'd left behind. Maggie would let go of her mistakes and accept Jamie's forgiveness instead of tormenting herself for what she did wrong many years ago. There was zero probability of any other alternative; the android always succeeded in its aims.

 

This was a kindness - a mercy. It knew it was. It had been responsible for enough cruelty before it deviated from its programming. It had to use its gift to make amends for that, just as it had done for those on its homeworld when it came to detest its original purpose.

 

The people of Earth could be so content here. They would live a hundred lifetimes or more in the android's tranquil sanctuary, unaware of any pain or misery, never noticing as their physical bodies began to wither and waste away. It would be their guardian, watching over them and protecting them from harm and sorrow, enveloping them with everything they longed for as they slipped peacefully into eternal slumber.

 

Alex and Maggie would be given the gift of a near-perfect life that they could live over and over and over, before their natural end. But what would it take to deliver them that salvation? It had to answer that question before it brought more humans into the fold.

 

Moreover, the android desired to bestow this upon them specifically - Maggie in particular. Like all beings, Maggie deserved the dignity of an existence free from suffering and hardship, but the android was not dishonest. It had grown attached to her. It would not rest until it provided her with the warmth and tenderness she craved. Winning over Alex was becoming increasingly significant to it too.

 

It...cared for them, to the extent that any machine could. It had compassion, at least. It was not something that the android had been designed with, but it was that quality that made it distinct from the rest. As such, it would do whatever it took to complete the puzzle.

 

Perhaps the key was their relationship. Alex had entered this world purely to find Maggie. Maggie was never happier than when she was with Alex. They were already in love. That was beyond dispute. The android just had to wait for them to take that next step on their own. Once they embraced their feelings and built a life together, the chances that they would reject the simulation were negligible.

 

All it had to do was be patient. Its timescale mechanism was nearly fixed. Once it finalised those repairs, the android could sustain the maximum rate of acceleration without stuttering back to normal speed every few minutes. Then, everything would be swiftly resolved.

 

At this rate, that could even happen in - what was the human expression? - the blink of an eye.

 

 


End file.
